You've Surely Gained a Lot
Many, many folks I know had to go through a long period of time where they had ups and downs and struggled, lost and won. Nu. We are each an olam malei (a complete world) and it feels like everything, inside. It's hard to see how lucky we are even when we are not sober.
Having a deeper awareness of:
- Hashem's presence with you,
- of your own frailty,
- of your own gifts and value, and
- of the beauty in other people...
... surely in your time here you have gotten some of all those.
Ashrecha. Don't give up on yourself ever, and the best is yet to be seen.
For what it's worth that's a promise, from one addict to another :-)