Yiddishkeit and 12 Steps: The Rabbi's Opinion
A number of people have raised the issue of the relationship of the 12-step program to Yiddishkeit. Some have indicated that they were “frum” during their active addiction but that they dropped their Yiddishkeit during the program. In order to address these issues, I think I must tell you something about myself. I think that problems may arise because of distortions about both Yiddishkeit and the 12-steps. I gave some autobiography in Generation to Generation and in Gevuros.
I was born into a Chassidic family. My father was a Rebbe in Milwaukee. Our shul was comprised primarily of first-generation Russian immigrants. Having not had any secular education in Russia, and not having access to the professions, they wanted to give their children what they lacked. Consequently, they gave their children a secular education and essentially neglected teaching them Yiddishkeit. I did not have a single Shomer Shabbos friend. My friends were the people in shul, all older than 50. They were wonderful people, sincere in their Yiddishkeit.
I heard many stories about my ancestry, great Talmudic scholars and tzaddikim. These were the models I had to live up to.
I thoroughly enjoyed Yiddishkeit. Shabbos and Yom Tov were delights. I never felt the restrictions of Torah to be a stress. Although I was taught that there was a punishment for aveiros (sins), I never thought that G-d was punitive. Even as a youngster, I felt that the punishment was inherent in the sin. If you put your hand in the fire, the natural consequence was a burn, not a punishment. Sins were detrimental to a person, and the painful consequence of a sin was in the act itself, not a punishment. Yes, G-d may punish, just like a loving father may have to spank a two-year old for running into the street, because the child cannot understand the danger involved. Our intellect, even as mature adults, is limited. We may not be able to understand what is wrong with mixing meat and dairy.
G-d has no needs. The Midrash says that it makes no difference to G-d how an animal is slaughtered. The laws of shechita and all other Torah laws are for the benefit of man, not of G-d. But our limited intellect may not be able to understand why tereife food is harmful to us, and in this respect, we are similar to the two-year old who cannot understand why he cannot run into the street to retrieve his ball, so we have to be warned with a “spanking.” If we can reach the understanding that the Torah laws are not for G-d’s benefit but for our own advantage, we need not worry about punishment.
Fast-forward to age 21, when I became a rabbi in my father’s shul. Some of the old crowd had passed on. Many of the congregants had warm feelings about Yiddishkeit but were not observant. They had their children Bar-mitzvah, followed by a celebration in a treife hotel. I performed weddings which were followed by treife dinners. After three years of this, I knew I could not take this for life, and went to medical school, followed by psychiatric training.
I took the position as medical director of a huge psychiatric hospital, which had a 30-bed alcohol detox unit, better known as the “drunk tank.” Drunks were dried out for several days and were told to go to AA, which very few did, so we ended up being a revolving-door drunk tank.
In my book, “From Pulpit to Couch,” I related how I got to AA. Here is the story.
My Teacher, Isabel
I learned many things at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. Inasmuch as I never drank, why did I attend meetings of AA? Here’s how it happened.
I was in my second year of psychiatric training when I received a call from the psych emergency room. A woman said she had to see a psychiatrist promptly and could not wait for an appointment.
Isabel was sixty-one. She was one of three daughters of an Episcopalian priest. Isabel began drinking late in adolescence, and at twenty she was into very heavy drinking. She married and had a child. When the child was three, her husband said, “Make your choice. It’s either the booze or the family.” “I knew I could not stop drinking,” Isabel said, “and I wasn’t much of a wife or mother. It was only decent to give him the divorce he asked for.”
At sixty-one, Isabel was attractive, and she must have been stunning at twenty-eight. Free and unattached, she began serving as an escort to some of Pittsburgh’s social elite. She had a beautiful apartment, the latest in fashions, and all the alcohol she wanted.
After five years, the alcohol began to cause behavioral changes that made Isabel undesirable company for her clientele. She then began serving a lower socio-economic clientele, and very rapidly deteriorated. She was soon living in flea-bag hotels and prostituting.
Every so often, Isabel was found passed-out and taken to a hospital for detoxification. She attended the AA meeting in the hospital, and upon discharge promptly resumed drinking. When I assumed the position as director of psychiatry at St. Francis Hospital, I looked up Isabel’s record. Between 1938 and 1956, Isabel had been detoxed at this hospital 59 times! At another hospital that offered detox she had 22 admissions. I was unable to get any information from other hospitals where she had undergone detoxification.
Isabel’s family was horrified by her behavior and disowned her. Her phone calls to her sisters were answered with a brusque, “Don’t you dare call me again” and a hang-up.
In 1956, Isabel approached a lawyer who had helped her out of some alcohol-related jams. “David, I need a favor,” she said.
“Good God!” the lawyer said. “Not again! What did you do this time?”
“I’m not in any trouble,” Isabel said. “I want you to put me away in the state hospital for a year.”
At that time Pennsylvania statutes had an Inebriate Act, under which a chronic alcoholic could be committed to a state hospital for “a year and one day.” This law had been used by families who wanted to get a chronic alcoholic out of their hair. No alcoholic had ever asked to be put away for a year.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” the lawyer said. “You’re crazy.”
“If I’m crazy, I really belong in the state hospital,” Isabel said.
Isabel continued to press her request, and the lawyer finally took her before the judge and had her committed to the state hospital.
After a year of sobriety, Isabel left the state hospital and promptly went to an AA meeting. Someone gave her a few nights of shelter, and she soon found a job as a housekeeper for a nationally renowned physician.
The doctor was retired and was a chronic alcoholic. Many times Isabel had to lift him off the floor and put him in bed. He sat on the board of several foundations and was periodically called to testify at Senate hearings. Isabel would receive a call from the doctor’s children, “Dad has to be in Washington in two weeks. Get him into shape.” Isabel would detox the doctor, get him a haircut and shave, and put him on the plane to Washington. “Now don’t you drink on the plane or in Washington,” she said. “When you come back tomorrow, I’ll be waiting for you with a bottle.” The doctor obeyed like a well-trained puppy.
I had never heard anything like this before. My first career was as a rabbi, and seminary did not teach me anything about alcoholism. Medical school was no better. I learned much about some rare diseases but nothing about the most common disease a doctor encounters. In my psychiatric training I was learning much about mental illnesses, but alcohol and drugs were never mentioned.
I was so fascinated by Isabel’s story that I neglected to ask her what was the acute emergency. As a fledgling psychiatrist, I knew that there had to be motivation for a person to seek help. What could possibly have motivated Isabel to take so drastic a measure, to put herself into a state mental hospital for a year by a court order? I had to discover her reason, so I told her to come back in a week for another session.
In the next session I heard some more interesting stories. Inasmuch as I did not have a clue about her motivation, I had her come back the following week. To make a long story short, I saw Isabel once a week for thirteen years. One night, at age seventy-four, she died peacefully in her sleep.
I was curious how she was managing to stay sober. It was obvious to me that medicine and psychiatry had no effective treatment for alcoholism. What was her secret?
“I go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous,” she said. In 1961, none of the celebrities had revealed that they were recovering alcoholics. Few people outside of AA knew anything about it.
“What happens at these meetings?” I asked. “”Who provides the treatment?”
“We have speakers meetings and discussion meetings, and we share our experiences,” Isabel said.
“Do you have psychiatrists or psychologists there?” I asked.
Isabel said, “There is one psychologist who shows up occasionally, but he’s still drunk most of the time.”
“Look, Isabel,” I said. “Some kind of treatment must be going on at these meetings if they are keeping you sober. Can I come and see for myself?”
“Sure,” Isabel said. That week she took me to my first AA meeting.
The first thing that struck me at the meeting was that there was no stratification. Everyone was equal. No one could become president of the organization, and furthermore, money could not buy any special privileges.
As a rabbi, part of my job was to raise funds to cover the annual budget. Money came from the congregates’ donations. People of lesser means made smaller contributions, and wealthier people made substantial contributions. I liked everyone equally, but I had to handle the large donors with silk gloves. I could not risk offending them, lest they leave for another congregation. Wealthy congregates received special treatment.
It is said that “Before God, everyone is equal.” God can afford to treat everyone equally. He doesn’t have to make mortgage payments each month. I did.
Any organization that is dependent on contributions is in the same situation. People with money or political clout are given preferential treatment. What impressed me about AA was that once people entered the room, everyone was equal. The rich received no special attention. Sometimes a poor person was in the position to help a wealthy person. Nor did academic status count. A fifth grade drop-out and a PhD were treated equally. I had never encountered anything like this!
Here is an example of AA’s independence. I received a call from a man who said that he wanted to make a contribution of $10,000 to AA in memory of his late sister, who had enjoyed fourteen years of sobriety with the help of AA. He asked me where to send the check.
I called several people in AA, and when no one could help me, I called the AA central office. “Don’t send the check here,” they said. “We can’t do anything with it.”
“Then how can this man make a contribution?” I asked.
“He can cash the check at the bank and go to a meeting. When they pass the basket, he can put the money in.”
“You want him to put $10,000 in cash in the basket?” I asked.
“Yes,” was the answer. “But if he’s not in the program, they might return it to him.”
Never before and never since have I come across an organization that refuses donations.
My fascination with AA brought me back to more meetings. As I became familiar with the twelve steps for recovery, I concluded that they were a formula for mature, responsible living. There was nothing unique about alcoholics that made the twelve steps specific for them. I found that virtually every character defect that can be found in alcoholics can also be found in non-alcoholics, albeit they may be less pronounced. The twelve steps were a way for proper living, and I could apply them to myself.
So began my involvement with AA. I have attended meetings in many cities in the United States and in many countries I have visited. I can find friends in a community where I do not know a single person.
I would like to share with you what I have learned from AA. In case you happen to be a recovering person who thinks that all AA can do is keep you from drinking, you are missing out on a great deal of valuable knowledge.
What about the secret of Isabel’s motivation to put herself into a state hospital? I never did solve that mystery in the thirteen years of therapy. I was left to my own devices to guess at it, and here is what I think.
Do you know how a volcano is formed? Deep down at the core of the earth, there is melted rock that is under extreme pressure. Over many centuries, this lava slowly makes its way through fissures in the earth’s crust to the surface. Once it breaks through the surface, the lava erupts.
I believe that at the core of every human being there is a nucleus of self-respect and dignity. For a variety of reasons, this nucleus may be concealed and suppressed. Like the lava, it seeks to break through the surface and be recognized. Once it breaks through into a person’s awareness, one may feel, “I am too good to be acting this way. This behavior is beneath my dignity.” I think this is the “spiritual awakening” to which the twelfth step refers.
I think that this is what happened to Isabel. For years she had been blind to her self-worth and saw nothing wrong with her alcoholic behavior. Then one day, the nucleus of self-respect that had been buried deep within her broke through the surface, and she realized that she had no right to demean herself.
Why the state hospital? Let me share a personal experience.
I do most of my writing early in the morning when my mind is rested. One time the publisher told me that they were moving up the publishing date and that I had to complete the book sooner. That meant that I had to get up an hour earlier.
I set my alarm clock for 4:30. When it rang, I did what most people would do: I turned it off for just five minutes more of sleep. Of course, I woke up two hours later.
Several months later, I had to deliver a lecture in Washington, D.C. at 10 AM, which required my taking a 7 AM flight. To make this flight I had to be up at 5 AM. I set the alarm clock for 5 AM, but remembering my tendency to turn it off for “just five minutes” more of sleep, I realized that I might miss my flight. I took the alarm clock off the night stand and set it in the far corner of the room so that I could not turn it off from the bed. The next morning I awoke at 5 AM and walked across the room to turn off the alarm. I was then able to stay awake and make the flight.
On both occasions, I had an awakening. The first awakening did not last long, because I went back to sleep. The second time I did something to avoid going right back to sleep. I made the awakening last.
Some people may have a spiritual awakening, but it does not last. Isabel knew that unless she took some measure to make her awakening last, she was likely to revert to drinking. The only way she knew to keep her awakening alive was to put herself out of reach of alcohol for an extended period of time. The state hospital was her only option.
I am indebted to Isabel for bringing me to the twelve step programs. What was the crisis that brought her to the emergency room that day? There was no crisis. Why then did she seek an emergency appointment just on the day I was on emergency duty? Perhaps she was sent there to introduce me to AA. But who could have sent her? Your guess is as good as mine.
Realizing that just drying-out someone was not enough, and that few people after detox went to AA, I militated for a rehab, and together with St. Francis Hospital, we opened Gateway Rehab Center in 1972.
Addiction is a disease and treatment is necessary to bring a person to health. The 12-step program can bring a person to health. But is it enough to be just healthy? Yiddishkeit teaches that a person must have a purpose in life. Addiction makes it impossible to reach a purpose, but overcoming the addiction is not an ultimate purpose in life. If a person has a serious physical illness, he certainly must be treated, but if he recovers, is that all there is to life?
Yiddishkeit teaches that a person has a mission in life. The first chapter in Mesilas Yesharim (Path of the Just) is “Man’s Obligation in His World.”
Having studied much mussar, I felt that Bill Wilson plagiarized mussar in developing the 12-step program. In my book, Self Improvement? I’m Jewish, I show the essential identity of the 12-steps and mussar.
Why is it that some “frum” people, even if they were well-versed in Torah and mussar fell into the trap of addiction and recovered with the 12-step program, whereas mussar did not help them? I think the answer is simple. A person who is sincere in recovery leaves a 12-step meeting with the knowledge and feeling, “If I deviate from this program, I will die.” In our davening we say, “ki heim chayenu” that Torah and mitzvos are our very life, but while we say this, I doubt that many people actually feel, “If I deviate from mussar, I will die.”
An example: An alcoholic came to rehab because his employer gave him a last chance: one more drunk and he’s fired. He was deathly afraid of losing his job. He attended AA regularly. When he was 8 months sober, he called me in a panic. He had attended a friend’s daughter’s graduation party, and the friend offered him a drink, which he refused, but did accept a glass of punch. After one swallow he realized that the punch was spiked. He called me in a panic. “What should I do, Doc? I accidentally swallowed some alcohol. Should I put myself in the hospital? I’m afraid I’ll end up in a drunk!” I told him to call his sponsor and get to a meeting.
Now let’s look at this case. A frum person has been enjoying a particular candy bar for years. This time, he was playing around with the wrapper and noticed that the hechsher symbol was gone. If the hechsher was removed, it was because they had added a non-kosher ingredient. He feels badly that he might have eaten something non-kosher, but does he call his rabbi in a panic? “Rabbi, I think I might have eaten something treife! What should I do? I’m afraid that this might lead me to eating pork on Yom Kippur!” You see, the addict knows that even an accidental slip can be fatal. The frum person may have learned that “sin begets sin,” but does not believe it the way a recovering addict does.
A recovering person may find the conviction in the 12-step program to be more intense and have greater sincerity than he experienced in Yiddishkeit. The response to this should not be to relinquish Yiddishkeit, but rather to increase his knowledge and understanding of Yiddishkeit, and to practice it with feeling rather than as routine.
A recovering person writes:
In the program, I know everyone, and we are all open with each other about our feelings and character defects. When I'm with program members, I can be myself.
When I'm in shul, I feel that we are a bunch of fakes that are trying to impress each other. (How many times do I close my eyes during shmona esrei and sway vigorously to impress everyone...) Since all my life I lived a double life, I had enough of it. I want to be real, and I want to be next to people who are real, and I don't feel comfortable in shul. I don't want to feel "if they only knew who I really was…" I don't want to be judged.
Be careful not to project. Just because you felt you were not genuine does not give you the right to accuse others of being fakes. If you don’t want to be judged, why are you judging others?
I was at a gathering where a woman who had converted to Judaism said, “Don’t judge Judaism by the Jews.” Similarly, don’t judge Yiddishkeit by how some frum Jews may behave. There are many sincere frum Jews, although there may be some who only act frum. Not every person in the 12-step program is a saint.
Incidentally, the issue of not judging others is fundamental to Yiddishkeit. My mother used to refer to “the holy al tadin,” the statement in Pirke Avos, “Do not judge another person until you have been in his place.” One who judges others is not being frum.
A recovering person writes:
Step 11 says don't pray for yourself - Yiddishkeit is full of prayers for yourself.
Program focuses on a loving Gd - Yiddishkeit includes a Gd that punishes (that’s not all that He does, obviously...).
Program says there is no bchira for the sex addict (if that’s what powerless means) - Yiddishkeit says there is.
Yiddishkeit is relating to G-d as our Father. A child should feel free to ask his/her father for something he/she wants.
I dealt with punishment issue earlier.
G-d wants us to live the right life for our own sake, not for His. It is to our advantage to have a close relationship with G-d. The gap between mortal man and the Infinite G-d is so vast that it cannot be bridged except with the way G-d designed. The addict who uses hallucinogens may think this is the way to get close to G-d. The thought that we can decide how to have a close relationship with G-d is mistaken. Observing the G-d-given Torah is the way G-d designed for man to get close to him.
G-d created man, and just as a manufacturer provides instructions on how to use an appliance, G-d has given us the Torah, the Manufacturer’s instructions on how to live. If one ignores the manufacturer’s guidelines, one cannot expect proper function.
We should recognize our dependence on G-d. In fact, we admit that without His help we could not overcome our addiction. Praying for our needs reinforces our feeling of dependence on Him.
The issue of bechira is a very sensitive one. It is one of the distinguishing features between man and animals. Animals are at the mercy of their bodies. They have no choice. They cannot defy a bodily urge. A human being has bechira. It is a Divine gift.
The Talmud says that the human being’s animalistic drives are so powerful that without the help of G-d we could not resist them. That is Steps 1 & 2. Our bechira consists of asking G-d to help us resist some animalistic drives.
Human beings’ temperaments vary. One person may have stronger animalistic drives than another, and they may vary in character. Prior to recovery, the addict thinks that he can control these drives, until he discovers otherwise.
Two children received Chanuka gelt. One child ran off to the candy store and gorged himself with candy, then went to the toy store and bought toys. He ended up with a stomach ache, and, within several days, his toys were on the junk pile of his old toys.
The other child said to his father, “I don’t know what to do with this money. You invest it for me.”
Both children had bechira. The first child used it to his detriment. The second child used his bechira wisely.
In recovery, we say to G-d: “Thank You for the gift of bechira, but my experience has shown me that I cannot always use it wisely. So, dear G-d, You take the bechira and choose for me.”
A recovering person writes:
Connecting to Gd, recognizing G-d does everything, moral inventory (cheshbon hanefesh, albeit with a different slant: it’s not guilt-based, Yiddishkeit's tshuva is), step 9 - making amends - is like tshuva too, without the guilt...
There are two types of guilt, healthy and unhealthy.
Healthy guilt is a painful feeling, like touching a red-hot stove. It discourages one from repeating the wrongful act. If a person does not feel pain when touching a hot stove, he should consult a neurologist, because there is something wrong with his nervous system.
A sociopath is without conscience and does not feel guilt. If one does not feel guilt for doing wrong, there is something wrong with him. Healthy guilt is what motivates a person to make amends and do teshuva.
Unhealthy guilt is feeling guilty even though one has not done anything to warrant feeling guilty. Pathologic guilt requires psychotherapy.
A recovering person writes:
[…] even though the concepts are the same as in Torah, it’s not like the Yiddishkeit I was raised with! I was never raised to be misboded (meditate) - maybe Breslovers were, but I went to Litvisha yeshivos. And if I said I had a spiritual experience and felt Gd’s presence, I would have been made fun of if not had my head examined. One of the things I love the most from the program actually is just sitting and feeling close to Gd, or asking Him to help me feel close to Him. I once went into a corner in shul and wanted to talk to Hashem and someone asked me if I was ok. (The Chofetz Chaim used to talk to Hashem in his attic. It’s not a practice taught in yeshivos).
The fact that yeshivos do not emphasize meditation is a shortcoming of the teaching system, not of Yiddishkeit. The Talmud says that the pious people used to meditate a full hour before prayer. Both Chassidic and mussar writings stress meditation, feeling close to G-d and spiritual experiences.
A recovering person writes:
Reb Yisrael Salanter met the Chafetz Chaim one time, and he told the Chofetz Chaim that he loved his sefer on not saying loshon hara but he doesn't understand how the Chofetz Chaim could write that if you speak loshon hara about someone you have to notify them and ask forgiveness. What gives the person a right to cause pain to another by telling them they spoke lashan hara about them? The Chofetz Chaim said he heard the question but what he wrote was rooted in Shulchan Aruch (Jewish law) - step 9 says you can't harm the person you want to make amends to.
This is an interesting argument between two Torah authorities. I had a person ask my forgiveness for having bad-mouthed me. I forgave him, but I wished he would not have told me. He could have benefitted from the general forgiveness I do every night at the Shema on retiring. It is perfectly legitimate to favor Reb Yisrael Salant’s position.
A recovering person writes
I'm struggling with incorporating the 12 steps in my life. A lot of the practices and tenets are sourced from Christianity (the Oxford group) and other non-Jewish sources. The prayers, such as the 3rd step prayer, the serenity prayer, and 11th step prayer (aka St Francis’ prayer)) cause me difficulty; also the practice of "hitting the knees."
I’ve often said that Bill Wilson plagiarized mussar. If a non-Jewish source quotes a Jewish principal, that does not disqualify it.
We do not say prayers that are part of another religion’s liturgy. I’m not aware of the Serenity Prayer being in Christian liturgy.
“Hitting the knees” is a symbol of humbling oneself before G-d. In the amida (shemona esrei) we genuflect four times, and although our knees do not hit the ground, we humble ourselves before G-d twelve times every day.
A recovering person writes:
Step 11 says don't pray for yourself - Yiddishkeit is full of prayers for
I did not address this issue adequately.
The Zohar is critical about people who pray selfishly, “Gimme, gimme.”
However, it is appropriate to ask Hashem, “Please provide me with what I need to do Your mitzvos.” One cannot do mitzvos or study Torah unless one is in good health and has adequate nutrition. One cannot do tzedaka unless one has the means to do so. This is not selfish prayer.
A recovering person writes:
When I came into the program, I was told “It’s ok if I am not a super power!” It worked for a few months, now what?? I am an empty leidige zak, nothing to sell, I feel downgraded, lost all opportunity in life to grow, my life is dry, another day passes and another day... And what?? I have no goal in life. I don't even know who I am!
I look around at other people, and I say, “Wow! He is at least smart, he has good character traits, he's looked up at in the community, and I am a loser.”
Then, I hear recovery people saying: “If you're sober, you are the luckiest guy in the world!” It’s totally BS... What? When? I feel like one big, messed up loser... A full-blown sac of resentments, ego, anger, and hate.
To whom does it make a difference at all if I am here on this planet or not? Who cares at all?
Is life now in recovery better than it was before, maybe? I don't know, there is no scale that I can measure the pros and cons...
Am I healthier now? Maybe! I am clearly miserable for no reason, not happy, hate my life...
My ego doesn't let me act out, ‘cause then I'm gonna be an even bigger loser…
One of the greatest principles in the 12-srep program is “Keep it simple.”
It really can be quite simple, if we keep the first mitzvah. We may not know what the first mitzvah is.
In Bereishis, we are told that Hashem created the universe, from the tiniest ameba to the awesome super-galaxies that are so immense that we cannot even imagine them. Hashem created all this by Himself, unassisted.
Then on day #6, Hashem said “Naaseh Adam, Let us make man.” Who is the “us?” Whose help is Hashem seeking, and why could He create the whole universe unassisted, but needs help in creating man?
The Baal Shem Tov explained that all living things were created in a state of completion. They did not have to do anything on their own to change themselves from their state of creation. Little bears would grow to be big bears, and little alligators would grow to be big alligators. Even those living things that underwent transformation, such as the caterpillar becoming a butterfly, did so automatically, because the change was programmed in their genes. Angels do not even grow at all. They are created as complete spiritual beings.
For reasons known only to Him, Hashem wanted a different type of creature, called man. In contrast to all other living things, man is created incomplete. Man comes into the world as an animal, or, as it says in Job (11:12), “Man is born a wild ass.” But man is not intended to remain just an animal. Man must, by his own effort, become a spiritual being.
When Hashem said, “Let us make man,” He was addressing man, and He was essentially saying, “I could create you completely spiritual, but then you would be just another angel. My idea of man is that he must change himself from the animal he was created into man. Therefore, I cannot create you as spiritual. You must develop your own spirituality. You must participate in your own creation.”
The mitzvah given to man is to become spiritual. That is what is meant by “Let us make man.”
But the animal component of man does not seek to become spiritual. Therefore, “G-d blew a spirit of life into his nostrils,” and it is this spirit that enables man to rise above the animal state in which he was created.” The animal component seeks only pleasure, comfort, and self-gratification.
Man’s spirit gives him the ability to do things that animals cannot do, such as:
to seek a goal in life
to distinguish right from wrong and to choose right
to defy a bodily urge when it is wrong
to give of oneself for the betterment of others
to delay gratification
to forgive an offense
to be humble
to be compassionate and considerate
to search for truth
When a person does all the above, one is implementing the spirit and one is, therefore, spiritual.
What is spirituality? It is becoming that which man was meant to be. It is fulfilling the first Divine command, “Let us make man.”
It is obvious that in addiction, the animal component of man dominates him and does not allow him to implement his spiritual abilities. When the addict recognizes this, he turns to G-d and says, “I want to be that which You intended me to be, but the animal component in me overwhelms me. Please help me resist it and become that which You want me to be.”
Every human being has a mission, to become man. Whatever station and circumstances one has in life do not affect this mission. Fulfilling this mission is every person’s purpose in existence.