Sunday, 12 February 2012

"Let Go & Let G-d": Let go of what?!

by Dov (See all authors)

Dov wrote on the forum:

As long as they keep trying the same exact thing and expecting a completely different result (it'll work/I really mean it this time!), they are doomed to keep having taynos (complaints) on Hashem, thinking "why is He not helping me?!".

The things they are trying are:

1) Acting out (Yup! In the heat of the moment, we all figured that if we just gave in, the annoying tayva would finally leave us alone for a while, right?),

2) Davening for "help" (even though they are not letting go of the sheretz and doing nothing really different) - the SA white book calls this "begging G-d to take it away so that we do not have to give it up!").

Someone asks on the forum:


But there will always be this part of me that doesn't want to give it up. So how do we really "Let go & Let G-d"?

Dov Responds:

Yes, it is very hard to imaging what "letting go and letting G-d" would be actually be like. After all, aren't we all ma'aminim (believers) already? Of course we are. So, the better question may be: What are we not letting go of right now, that is keeping us tied to our patterns, our sick boundaries, and our desires?

Heroin addicts know more than anyone how desperately they need to drop their old shooting gallery friends, stop frequenting the places they bought drugs, etc. We all hold onto those kinds of familiar patterns for our much needed comfort. Familiarity is comforting, for sure. But we need to find and substitute it with other, real comfort, if we are to 'make it'. That comfort is perhaps the main power of GYE and (- in my opinion - much greater power) in the 12-step fellowships. It's a new chevra. Fitting in somewhere else. (BTW, I absolutely needed the face-to-face program meetings and real-person sponsorship for that... oh, I said that already...oops! ;-)

But there is another "familiar setting" beside the external one that we see with our eyes that we need to learn to let go of - or rather - substitute for, and for me it's the main work of the very program itself: The "familiar setting" of our inner attitudes and reactions to stuff that we feel with our hearts. That is the main work and fruit of the steps. "It's an inside job."

If we expect to get better; to behave differently - i.e. that we will not have to resort to acting out with lust when stress, pride, fear, and life hits us, but we want to remain the same people we were before... forget it.

As long as we remain the same people, we will just keep fighting ourselves. "Knowledge" we have already... we need an inner change.

So: "Letting go" - of what?
When that question is answered, the "letting G-d" flows more naturally.