Dear GYE,

... just know that you saved my life - and that alone should give you enough strength to continue for many more years...

Thank you administration of GYE for all the E-mails and reminders....

The daily emails and reminders, even thought I didn't always have time to read them - just being in the Inbox reminded me to behave myself and keep away from the bad.

It is just plain truth that the drunk laying in his own vomit in the street after being thrown out of his home for so long that he cannot remember his kids' names, is actually one of the luckiest people in the whole world - at the moment that he clearly and finally realizes that he does not really have to drink any more. That he really cannot fight it ever again, but can still be freed of it and live without it. That there is such a thing as a G-d in the world with him, and that He can help him....the drunk. That drunks like him do get sober.

I believe that the poor prusteh, inner city homeboy who is hopelessly hooked on heroin, prostitutes, and crack, goes through the same exact process that a 'white-collar' lust addict goes through. The recovery is exactly the same for the Rov of a shul who I know who was doing the very same stuff as that heathen. No difference between yid and goy at all, at this stage. That is why I have hugged and cried with them as brothers in this, just as I have with sweet yidden with this machalah. It is the same letting go, no difference. The same pain. The same desperation for 'just another chance to try and manage his life with my sweet pacifier' comes back and tortures us.

G-d offers his friendship and love to each person. Most people do not take it, because they do not need it! They are 'millionaires' - they have what they need to be comfortable. Yet we addicts struggle to get what we need - we just cannot be satisfied with this life! We seem to be programmed with a big hole in our gut that normal, run-of-the-mill life cannot fill. And others waste their time telling us that normal life should fill us. Well, it doesn't.

And the sooner we agree to stop trying to live a 'normal' life (only externally, of course) - and finding it unbearable - the sooner we start to finally get better.

As long as you stay in the truth, ignoring whether it sounds honorable or not, Hashem will put His signature on everything you try to do, and really help you. Chessed shel Emess. His Chessed, for your Emess.

"Shovavim" - which stands for the first letters of the Parshios Shemos through Mishpatim - is a time of calling for Teshuva, as the Pasuk says "Shuvu Banim Shovavim - Return, wayward children!" This period covers the servitude of Mitzrayim and the subsequent redemption. Below, we bring a nice quote from Rabbi Twerski's daily tips, which can help us understand why this period is so "mesugal" and important for Teshuvah:

Avi Tennenbaum's 7 Week Workshop on SHOVAVIM and INTERNET ADDICTION is available for FREE download (335 MB).

Download Here

Learn many valuable tools on how to deal with the addiction and nisyonos in this important series.

Join the Worldwide YEshiva Shovavim Initiative at shovavim.org - "YES we can!"

I want to congratulate our Group on the completion of the first two weeks of our "cruise". I can see how the members are being more open in their sharing, and I can tell already that we're building a very special and "safe" container for us to come to regularly. I feel like we are creating a sort of "Vaad" to deal with one of the biggest taivos we are faced with.

As of today, we have completed the reading in the Big Book up to the second to last paragraph on page 12. If you would like to join our group in this coming week or if you have missed any of the calls, please be sure to catch up.

At this point in Bill's Story, we see that he is turning the corner from the rock bottom of his addiction. We see how Bill is reacting to meeting his Sponsor - a man of recovery.

Like all addicts, we are the first to throw doubt at a Program of Change. We are still living the delusion that we can wrestle happiness out of life, and that by exerting our will power that we can "fix" whatever is wrong with us.

WRONG!!

As we have been discussing, it is only through "surrender" that we can find victory. For the first time, we are faced with the ugly truth that WE are getting in the WAY of our own Success.

Yes, we need to climb out of G-d's Throne. We need to take off His Robes. We are NOT in control; He is. Only then can we begin to see the miracles and awesomeness of Hashem's creation.

I wanted to remind everyone about the "Take-Out Exercises" for the next few days:

• First - be sure to stay on the alert to find an A&W Moment ("Awe & Wonder" - a moment where you feel Hashem in your life). With practice over time, you will see how easy this becomes, and you will see how it increases your d'eivakus with Ribono Shel Olam.

• Second - and new to the Group - is to be aware of how often you exert control in your daily affairs. Pay attention to your behavior. Be aware of how your run and brush aside someone in Shul to grab a Siddur, or how you insist that you get the first serving of brisket at the table, or how you use your sharp witted mind to argue your point - regardless of how it affects your wife, your friend or co-worker. And the list goes on. Why do we do this? Because we're just like "babies with their grabby little hands" always reaching out for more and crying if someone else has the toys we want. So, try this exercise and count how many times a day you put yourself FIRST. I think you'll be amazed.

I am yours truly,

Duvid Chaim

R' Avraham J. Twerski, world renowned expert on addictions, author of over 50 books and a great Talmid Chacham, is one of the guiding forces for our website. His advice, experience and immense knowledge, are invaluable to us and provide direction and technique for all of those struggling with these addictions.

Rabbi Twerski holds that THE most powerful tool in breaking free of addictions are the 12-Step groups, which combine the vital aspect of group support together with the tried and proven 12-Step program of recovery. To quote his words "Psychotherapy is the frosting on the cake, but the 12 step program is the cake".

Someone recently sent us a list of concerns and questions about joining non-Jewish groups in their area. It is precisely because of many of these concerns that we started the "Jewish Healing Hot-line", an anonymous phone conference group that meets on the phone once a week with a religious counselor. However since "Live Groups" are an even more powerful tool, we forwarded this person's questions to Rabbi Twerski to hear his views on the matter. We thank Rabbi Twerski for taking the time to answer these questions and for contributing to our network. We encourage everyone to take the opportunity to see Rabbi Twerski's replies to these important questions on this page.

See also the below excerpt from this week's Modia magazine's "Seeking Solutions" by Rabbi Twerski, on the importance and effectiveness of group support.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.