Post-Yomtov Mail
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1912  
In Today's Issue
Editor’s Note: Post-Yomtov Mail
Testimonials: 90 Days!!!
Torah: From the inside out
Member's Chizuk: First Yom Kippur Without Guilt
90 Day Journey
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Still Clean Had a fall
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Editor’s Note
Post-Yomtov Mail

Dear GYE Family,

the High Holidays are behind us and the mail is pouring in. Awesome and awe-inspiring experiences of our members over Tishrei are brought to you in this newsletter. Enjoy!

Reply to this message to share your story.


By Hadassa
By GYE Member

First, thanks for lighting up my life and for showing me that I am not the only one with this nisayon and there's a beautiful shining hope!

I had such an intense experience this Yom Kippur, and I feel the need to shout from the rooftops that Hashem loves all of us so very much, and we all deserve His love. Here's an email I sent to two of my sisters on motzei Yom Kippur:

“B’H, the fast was so much better than expected! I need to share with you this powerful experience I had last night, because you really know and understand where I'm coming from. After Kol Nidrei and Maariv, I started davening in my own words, which always works the best. I just said whatever was in my heart, without stopping to think or censor (in Yiddish, of course): ‘Hashem, I want to know You better. I know you're not a scary Basheffer Who doesn't like women [an attitude passed down from our personality-disordered, abused-as-a-child father], I know that You're here right now, and You're listening to what I'm saying. You love me. You do! You love me." And guys, it hit me with such a stunning clarity how even if I know in my mind that Hashem is an Av Harachamon and He loves us all unconditionally, my heart still hasn't caught up all the way, and deep down I still feel unworthy of this. But last night was healing. I couldn't stop repeating "Du hust mich leeb," and I cried from such a deep place. It was cathartic. Baruch Hashem.”

All of us on GYE should feel so worthy of His love, all the time!

90 Days!!!
By GYE Member

Wow, wow, what a journey it has been!

Before I found GYE, I was stuck in a horrible rut; falling and acting out, then feeling disgusting about it, doing teshuva, and saying never again. But before I knew it, lust took a hold of me and I was at it again! It was a vicious cycle, which I had no idea how I would get out of.

GYE showed me that I wasn't alone in the struggle, that I'm not a faker - just a 'struggler,' and, most importantly, that there IS a way out! Now I had someone I was answerable to, someone cheering me on and checking up on me and I had a goal to reach!

I reached 90 days on the first day of Sukkos, which I feel is significant: to be able to celebrate my 90 days clean with Hashem mamesh!

Although it's still a struggle, it's now an uphill climb, reaching new peaks every day.

I have endless hakoras hatov to GYE for enabling me to actually do it!

Forever grateful,

Yiddishe Midel

From the inside out
By GYE Member

I would like to paraphrase a beautiful Dvar Torah I heard, mostly in the name of R’ Schwab.
We spent a lot of the month of Elul saying in Slichot the following words:
"מִי שֶׁעָנָה לְאַבְרָהָם אָבִֽינוּ בְּהַר הַמּוֺרִיָּה הוּא יַעֲנֵֽנוּ. מִי שֶׁעָנָה לְיִצְחָק בְּנו כְּשֶׁנֶעֱקַד עַל גַבֵּי הַמִזְבֵּֽחַ הוּא יַעֲנֵֽנוּ."
“He Who answered Avraham on Har Hamoriah, He will answer us. He Who answered Yitzchak, his son, when he was bound up on the Mizbayach, He will answer us.”

The message is powerful. God is, and has always been, the Answerer of prayers.

Read article
Member's Chizuk
First Yom Kippur Without Guilt
By GYE Member

By E.M

BH, this Yom Kippur I was able to say Vidui Drabeinu Nisim for the first time ever without any guilt. I am over a year clean!

And surprise of surprises, I happened to have davened vasikin on R"H and Y"K for the first time in my life; first time Vasikin in ANY davening of my life. I happened to read in the Kaf Hachaim (5) that Vasikin is mechaper for Zera L'vatala! What hashgacha pratis! Hashem obviously wanted me to daven vasikin to send me a sign that my Teshuva is accepted!

What helped me most?

1. The 90-day plan got me started seriously.

2. Sharing With my wife and rov.

3. Finding out that I’m not the only one.

4. And mostly, taking each opportunity one at a time, and not saying I can’t look the rest of my life. Just one day at a time.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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