I run a business entirely online, and yet I don't own a smartphone or have internet access at home. If anyone would like to discuss how it's possible to remove the constant connectivity--which basically increases the chances of falling--and still manage to run a business successfully, I invite them to be in touch with me at itonlygetsbetter162@gmail.com.

Try it, you won't regret it!

In the depths, in darkness
Double life to hide the mess
Could take it no longer
For a way out, I ponder
Guided from Above to GYE
Shown so many tools, how to get free
Begin my journey, enthusiasm high
Invest efforts, the days go by
Accumulating, the numbers grow
It gets easier to overcome, to let go
90 days pass, triggers become rare
Now on other struggles my focus shares
Months go by, I almost don’t remember
That there’s a reason why I’m a GYE member
The struggles I knew so intimately
No longer affected me, only barely

Sleepy one night, caught unaware
Unprepared, fell into the snare
Just like that – fell all the way
Mind in shock and disbelief, the next day
Pained deeply, did teshuva genuinely
Recommitted to be extra vigilant, be on guard constantly
Hopes dashed, fell again
Despair creeping in, numbing the pain
So confused and bewildered
How has this struggle returned?
Reached out for clarity to understand
Was advised that in life struggles don’t end
As long as I’m alive, there’s work to do
Continue trying, working, stand up anew
So I’m back fighting again, daily
Remembering there’s purpose in each struggle individually
Focus on the moment is what I need
Please Hashem, give me the strength to succeed

I never needed to stop the game until I really needed to stop. Then I stopped, and that is when the proverbial (whatever) hit the fan. I was using it for comfort about so many things, it was ridiculous. I needed a lot of help and support, and still do.

To me, the poison of the frum sounding attitude that "just struggling to stay clean one day is worth it" is a twisted view of "one day at a time" and is just an excuse for holding tight onto the luxury of being able to use my drug. Some can afford it, some cannot. I cannot afford it because it screws my life up.

People who are not addicts are busy really living, and this lust garbage distracts them sometimes. For them, getting through the day without messing up is definitely worth it. And certainly, a sober day is a precious thing for an addict as well.

But to focus on not using lust all day long is an ill way to live, in my opinion, no matter what kedusha we attach to it. When I wrestle with a person with fleas, bedbugs, and lice, I will definitely end up getting cooties.

That is why after the 1st step is done, none of the 11 other steps have any direct connection to our lust, masturbation, drinking, gambling, shooting up with heroin, or any of that stuff. They are not about getting sober, and certainly not about "drinking". The program people discovered that their entire focus has to be on good-living, or they are dead ducks, guaranteed to "fall" again, soon.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.