Five hundred - the number of consecutive days that God has kept me sober. I know that this is a major miracle: that I relapsed and recovered, that I didn't feel judged by my recovery friends, and that I stayed sober, although I had many physically and emotionally difficult days. That I found a good therapist that I connected with. That I kept coming back, and that my life is becoming better. And the list goes on. So thank you, Hashem, for guiding me through this time and keeping me sober. Thank you to GYE, SA, and AA. Thank you to my sponsor who is so passionate and caring. Thank you to my “sponsees.” Thank you to my wife and children. Last but not least, thank you to all the wonderful people on GYE. May we all be blessed with another sober day, full of acceptance and serenity.

If I may add a word: please don’t give up before Hashem shows you the way to recovery and sobriety. With determination and lots of Tefila, we will B’ezras Hashem recover from this mess, grow, and live to fulfill our purpose.

Yes, masturbating is a terrible thing to do, as Chazal tell us. Er and Onan would agree, I believe... And, surely, having sex with myself (that's exactly what masturbation is, of course) is destructive to me on many levels. And yes, we Yidden ought not to do it.

But that has nothing to do with whether it is an addiction, as far as I know. Why does it matter to you? If it's not an addiction, does that make it OK? And if it is, does that make it OK? And if yes to either, who really cares? It is your life that is going by while your brain watches and analyzes it. Is that analysis an addiction, perhaps?

So...

Dang-nab-it! Quit playing around, and discover yourself already! Nobody can answer these questions for you! And if they could, they still could not answer them to your satisfaction! And that's normal!

So, perhaps try going 60 days without it. Not as a challenge, c"v - that's not the point of it, at all! It's not about right and wrong or aveira/not aveira... It's about the facts of what it does for you. Stay away from it for 2 months to know what your life is like without lust and masturbation! When you take away the medication, the illness declares itself!

And if you are not using lust and masturbation - just enjoying it (cuz it feels good, as you say) - then what big deal will the loss of 60 days without the great pleasure cost you in light of such a great experiment?

Stop being a 'poseyach al shnei has'ifim' and go for it, man!

I love you!

Dov

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.