What are you needed for?
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1826  
In Today's Issue
Sayings: Who is poor?
Chizuk: What are you needed for?
Video of the Day: What's wrong with pornography?
Daily Dose of Dov: There's Only One Day Of Recovery
90 Day Journey
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No person in the world is as dirt-poor as the luster. - Dov
What are you needed for?

A wealthy and learned Chasid came to the Bal Hatanya complaining that his business was going bad and he was losing all of his money fast. He told the Rebbe that if Hashem wills him to be poor, he accepts it with love, but he can't bear the pain of all the people he owes money to. Many poor people, orphans and widows had entrusted him with their money, and he can't even pay them back! The Rebbe was leaning on his arms listening, and finally said "you seem to be worried about what you need, but you haven't perhaps considered what you are needed for?" The Chassid fell into a dead faint. When they revived him, he left the Rebbe's office and went straight to the Beis Medrash where he sat for days on end, completely ignoring this world and any past worries of his... Finally the Rebbe called him and told him that Hashem wants us to serve him through this world, not by ignoring this world, and the Rebbe blessed him and sent him home. From that point on, he saw much success and recovered all his fortune...

What I found beautiful about this story is that although it is true that this Yid had very valid reasons to be worried and feel tremendous pain - and we would even go as far as to assume that it was his "Yetzer Tov" who was making him worry (after all, he was feeling the pain of others, to whom he owed money) - still, the Rebbe's reply to him was not to focus on what HE NEEDED, even for the good (i.e. yetzer hara, struggle, reward, nachas ruach, etc...) and instead focus on what he is needed for, i.e. being useful to HASHEM. And when a Jew succeeds to make this paradigm shift in his thinking, he ends up seeing success anyway Smiley

It's a subtle but MAJOR distinction. This is that "nekudah" that is spoken about in Chassidic Sefarim... the difference between Chametz and Matza, between Lishma and Shelo lishma. (But as Dov will surely tell you, the only things that matters to him is that it's the ultimate difference between sobriety and insanity, life and death Wink).

Video of the Day


Rabbi Mordechai Becher shares 

insights into what Tumah really means.

What's wrong with pornography?

These short inspirational messages are a project of gyeboost.org. If you haven't joined yet, sign up here to get them either by email or Whatsapp each day

Daily Dose of Dov
There's Only One Day Of Recovery
By Dov

"It starts with one... and it ends with one." Meaning: There really is only one day of recovery - ever. And that's 'today'. This is, I believe, why Teshuvah is one of the things sometimes code-named "Atah" - Today. (V'ata Yisrael, Ma hashem Elokecha Sho'el Me'Imach). It's not that it is to be done now, but that it IS only now. There's no way to do anything for tomorrow, or for yesterday. I can't go to the bathroom extra today so that I will not need to go tomorrow, can I? Same with recovery. There is nothing I can do to "prepare to be sober/clean/whatever tomorrow. Nothing. The only thing I will ever be able to do is be sober/clean today. So to me, the counting and 'adding up' is really silly. It can give a false impression that there is some sort of buildup, like we are going to a 'destination' of recovery. Not so for me. I like what Rebbe Nachman said, "yehudi hu tamid baderech - ein hu yachol lavo l'shum tachlit - A Jew is always on the way - he can never come to any destination". It's not about attaining a milestone. 90 days, a year, ten years... it's all arbitrary, really... The next day will still be just another day, no? Even my old goal of 'dying sober' is arbitrary. To Hashem we don't 'die', at all. It's a fake end. There is no end - that's why suicide is such a stupid solution for problems.... We are always gonna be here, and somehow, we always were. How can there be more than 'today', for us?

Hashem has no 'milestones', does He? It's an endless journey in an intimate relationship and adventure with none other than our Eternal Best Friend.

One day at a time is not a technique or a trick, as in 'just don't act-out for one day, you can do it'. It's much more than that. Like pretty much everything else in the program, it has less to do with 'not acting out' and more to do with an attitude for living life. The only way for me to live is to take my focus off of lusting or not lusting, and onto living. And I completely depend on using the steps, to allow me to do that.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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