Living in peace
  Breaking free chizuk #1824  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: ...and stick with it!
Testimonials: I did not know I had it in me!
Sayings: Are you present?
Daily Dose of Dov: The Makka is the Refuah
Sayings: Peace
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Image of the Day

Make up your mind...

...and stick with it!
...and stick with it!
I did not know I had it in me!

Guard Your Eyes has given me the tools to make through thick & thin: I am getting divorced after just a short while married, and being strong in these areas has given me my only anchor to be happy again. I am over 125 days clean and it’s a big thank you to the GYE support group. I have reached goals and levels I never knew I had inside me; however, Guard Your Eyes has brought it out in me!

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” — Lao Tzu
Daily Dose of Dov
The Makka is the Refuah
By Dov

Someone asked on the forum:

I was wondering about why we have these periods of cleanliness, and then BAM fall into extreme desire? Further, they seem to follow patterns; 30 days seems to be a rough point, as an example. These periods of really bad desire can last an hour, a day or a week. Is there a physiological cause for the patterns and swings?

Dov Responds:

I think you are describing in the most simple and basic way, what every drunk out there knows as 'tolerance' and 'withdrawal'. Nothing more, in my opinion.

But here's the thing. I believe that addiction is in my very body - it is not just something I do, but that it is something I am - I carry it with me wherever I go; that it is one of the most essential if not the most essential ingredient of my life in this world - for better of for worse; and that this nature I have is Hashem's own special way of finally getting me to really need Him.

I feel I must mention here that if recovery would be a mission to get back to where we would be if only I had never been addict, then I say the entire recovery is hogwash. And I believe such an attitude apikorsus. It is setting Hashem out of the bounds of my actual life. It is the G-d of a book, not of a person.

I believe that He planned the refuah before the makkah - which means, if you think about it for a second, that there is really no such thing as a 'makkah', at all. It's all Him and His Will for me. And through the steps I live with Him right now, as soon as I wake up and start speaking to Him intimately (in English - my language, of course). I reach Hashem and stick close with Him (my Eternal Best Friend) by way of my failures and addiction. That appears to be my chelek. And it's nice.

And I owe it all to the fact that I couldn't stop acting-out and using shmutz for all those years - while I was a 'frum' adult raising a family at the same time, of course (haha) - until I finally, really, needed Him and only Him. All my trying, fighting, and teshuvah was powerless to help me. I needed Him to help it all work, for a change. And I had to go slow - and stay slow.


“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” — Wayne Dyer
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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