The true strength of a person's piety is demonstrated under the following circumstances: a devout person does not cast off his piety even when people ridicule him; whatever he does is for the sake of heaven; he does not look at women. His piety is put to the test especially when he is in the company of other men in a situation where women are usually around-for example, in a wedding hall where women are dressed in elegant gowns, and all are gazing at the women, and he does not stare. For that, he will be rewarded with abundant good. Therefore, when a man meets a woman, whether she is single or married, gentile or Jewish, an adult or a minor, it is best for him to turn his face aside and not to look at her. And so do we read in Job, "I made a Covenant with my eyes not to gaze on a maiden" (Job 3 1: 1). The verse "He shuts his eyes against looking at evil" (Isaiah 33:15) refers to the person who does not look at women when they are doing their washing.' When they wash their clothes, they lift their skirts so as not to soil them and thus uncover their legs; and we know that a woman's leg is a sexual excitement. And so said the Sage, "There is no greater barrier to sexual arousal than closing one's eyes".

In response to the article published in Issue #1219, we have received the following:

This is a great topic. Thank you so much for covering it. I've been sober in SA for over 5 months now, and I was always scared of going to a meeting. I imagined I would meet all my closest friends there, which, in reality, is totally insane (though now I wish some of my closest friends would join). The feeling of warmth was so powerful, I was almost drunk from it. It was a total cultural shock to be cared for in such a deep way. Everyone offered assistance but no one pried or tried shoving something down my throat. Regarding the twelve steps, you don't start them until you're ready.

Thank you so much for giving me the scariest advice of my lifetime almost six months ago that I need live meetings.

(By the way Daily Dose of Dov definitely deserves credit for me joining the live meetings.)

Thank you so much!
A fellow struggler!

Hello Guard,

First of all, let me wish you a very happy new year. May be it a great one for everybody on GYE.

You have helped me so much in the past two years, and I am very grateful for all the support and guidance that you have given, and continue to give me. I know that I will always have an immense amount of progress to make, but looking back to where I was a few years ago, my life has been totally transformed. You have played a large and indispensable part in all of this. Thanks be to God for guiding me to you.

I thought long and hard about whether I should e-mail you since I don't want to keep on taking your time. However, I feel that I should be honest and open with you, since I regard you as my mentor as well my friend in this struggle.

Sometimes you are feeling low, depressed and very vulnerable. In such a state the Yetzer Hara tells you that there's no use trying to fight. But realize one thing. The depression you feel will not go away by giving in, it will only get worse. The more you give in, the more you will need... But in such a state, it is sometimes hard to fight all the way. Instead, distract yourself. Waste some time reading a good book, take a jog or take your family to the park. If you're tired, lay down and take a nap. But don't give in! Remember this always - no matter what state you are in, giving in will SOLVE NOTHING!

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.