E-Mail Subject: Repentance Always Helps
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1768  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Torah: Repentance always helps
Daily Dose of Dov: Banging Our Heads on the Aron Kodesh
Torah: He who admits and desists will be shown mercy
Text: Video #19 - Tricks of the Soton
 
 
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Torah
 
Repentance always helps
 
By GYE

In Likutei Moharan II:48, Rebbe Nachman writes that every movement that brings a person out of physicality and closer to God is "very precious." If a person progresses even a minute amount, in the higher world he has traversed huge distances.

Since a person's spiritual level is not static, in addition to being able to elevate ourselves, we are in danger of falling. It's important to learn to deal with that possibility and to do everything in our power to assure that if we do fall, we will not exceed the minimal boundaries set by the Torah. At the same time, when we fall, we must never lose hope of elevating ourselves to higher levels, and even surpassing our previous levels. Very often, a decline is preparation for a significant ascent, as Rebbe Nachman and Reb Nosson often remind us in their writings.

If a person failed to break his fall in time and has transgressed clear prohibitions, he must be prepared to deal even with this. In Likutei Moharan II:12, Rebbe Nachman tells us that when one is in the lowest of depths, stuck in the mire, he has a special opportunity to find the highest levels of holiness which are hidden there - but only if he is firmly resolved to search for God.

Not only is despair pointless, it can also lead to falling to further depths. But how can anyone escape despair when he understands the seriousness of these moral transgressions? How can a person not despair when the Zohar (219b) states that repentance does not help when it comes to the sin of Er and Onan?

Rebbe Nachman states (Sichot Haran 71) that the Zohar should not be understood literally. Repentance always helps, and the main thing is not to repeat one's wrong doing.

Daily Dose of Dov
 
Banging Our Heads on the Aron Kodesh
 
Part 2/2
 
To someone who suggests various Tikkunim, Mikva and Hisbodedus for dealing with this addiction, Dov writes:
 
By Dov

"More Yiras Shamayim" is not what we're missing

People often ask why Yiras Shamayim is not enough to stop us. Here Dov responds to one such claim.
(Note: What Dov writes here is strictly for real addicts):

As far as I am concerned, an addict has the right to keep using his drug - and no one can tell him he can't - it will not stop him. He needs to learn yir'oh from the pain of using his drug, be it masturbation, alcohol, gambling, heroin, rage, whatever. He needs to come to the point that he discovers that he cannot use his drug any more. Not because Hashem tells him so, but because he himself discovers it.

To me, the fact that it is an aveiroh is actually a distraction from recovery and prolongs the agony and destruction because it fools a person to think that he is experiencing a struggle to be good vs bad - to do Hashem's Will vs the Satan's will....and in truth his is a battle between losing his life to insanity and sickness vs living life by getting sanity and wellness.

The sforim are there. The aveiro is well-known. I do not believe that learning the gravity of the aveiro is what I needed. It was a mistake, actually. I did that and learned the entire sefer Yesod Yosef (not the one about mussar and avodah by the talmid of the Kav haYoshor , but the one that the kitzur suggests that is strictly about hz"l), and all it did for me was to get me horribly guilty and confused because I could not stop. I also read the English of Shivchei haR"N about Rebbi Nachman, zt"l. I went to mikvah. I did what I knew at the time, and sincerely. No go. It was horrible.

And I do not believe more yir'ah is what many need. We have yir'ah - it is just not effective. Maybe we do not really have the right yir'oh? Really, I am sure we do not have it....do any of us ever get it? I do not know. All I know is that ein chovush matir es atzmo mibeis ha'asurim.

We need mesiras nefesh to open the door to get well, period. And more than anything else - more than any sefer or mikvah, it was my acting out - my aveiros, you might say - that brought me to the point of mesiras nefesh. I lost myself to lust - I nearly gave it my nefesh - and had no choice but to ask Hashem to get me back. There was nobody else around to ask. And he led me to recovering sex/lust addicts who learned about recovery from drunks and shared it with others. I followed their direction and here I am, with you and with Hashem. So far, so good.

Perhaps you are talking about yidden who can stop, and I am talking of addicts. Perhaps you are only talking about yidden who do the aveiroh and it has not invaded their lifestyle yet. My business is in addicts; hopeless losers to lust who have tried everything. So by all means, I hope whoever wants to try your derech does it exactly. And the ones that lose and are finally convinced that they just can't do it and give up completely will have me as their friend at the other end of the mikvah hall...

Torah
 
He who admits and desists will be shown mercy
 
By GYE

Repent to G-d every day. Admit your sins and change your ways, as the Pasuk says "Modeh V'eozev Yerucham" - "He who admits and desists will be shown mercy".

In the holy books it says that the secret of confession is as follows: Every deed a person does creates a prosecuting angel. That angel goes up to heaven and prosecutes the one who did the sin that brought the angel into existence. However, when a person confesses to G-d and admits that he is ashamed of his deed, the angel he created loses it's power to prosecute the person and he is easily forgiven. However, this only works with repentance, i.e. if the person changes his ways. Otherwise, the angel will continue to prosecute even stronger than before and point out to G-d that the person who created him was lying when he confessed and said that he feels bad for his sins.

Text
 
 
Video #19 - Tricks of the Soton
 
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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