A Huge Chiddush
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1749  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day
Text: What if I Couldn't See?
Daily Dose of Dov: The Double Edged Sword of the Disease
Chizuk: That's a chidush
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Image of the Day
What if I Couldn't See?
Part 1/3
By the.guard

Enjoy the tremendous gift of sight


Sometimes, when we find ourselves drawn, time and time again, to look at things we know we shouldn't, we ask ourselves, "wouldn't it be great if I just couldn't see"?

But then, we start to think about how wonderful it is to be able to see. We begin to realize that without your eyes, you wouldn't be able to get around, to support yourself and family, to enjoy food, to enjoy the beauty in your wife and children, and to enjoy the beautiful world. We ask ourselves, "Which is better? To be blind and have no test, or to enjoy the tremendous gift of sight and simply learn to work on myself?"

We need to realize that our eyes don't belong to us. They were given to us by G-d to be able to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, and to experience his infinite goodness. So how can we let ourselves use this precious gift to rebel against him?

To be continued...
Daily Dose of Dov
The Double Edged Sword of the Disease
To someone who was clean for a while but doesn't understand why he is still so strongly pulled towards falling, Dov writes:
By Dov

I beg of you to avoid the silliness of looking at staying sexually pure as an end in itself. Although it is playing with fire, stupid and deadly, do not fool yourself. Let's have a little humility here, folks. We are recovering perverts. In addiction, we naturally tend toward looking at women and schmutz and taking it all in hungrily, and using it with gusto. We are screwed up, in that respect.

Bearing that in mind, I believe that being clean from porn or masturbation is a wonderful brocha that you do not deserve. Neither do I.

Lechatchila I need to be careful to avoid any lusting at all, because I need to 'respect' my disease and take it dead seriously. But b'dieved, after a slip or fall, I wouldn't ask: "Ach, how can I do such foolish things!?"

I'll tell you how we can do stupid stuff like that: We are addicts, and that's what addicts do! It's a double-edges sword, this disease-thing. It gives us the humility to be more careful without becoming kedoshim when we are granted success, and it gives us the humility to accept defeat when we screw up. 'Falling' is never the chiddush for you and me - sobriety is! Even for an addict who has been sober for twenty years or more!!

And if that's just words, then I pity myself. I want you to know that if I am sober next year, I'll be a bit surprised....but when I remember Who is on my side, and how strong a gift He gave me with SA and Recovery, then I feel more at ease. But that's all a chiddush, not the failure - that's 'par' for the course, as far as I am concerned.

Of course, if you opt to join the "I have not acted out for a year now - so I am obviously (mostly) healed and no longer an 'addict' like I used to be" - chevra...well, then none of this will be yours.

What do you want? The stuff behind curtain #1, or curtain #2?

Go easy on yourself. It's amazing that you (and us) were brought this far, reb yid.

That's a chidush
By Battleworn

"Battleworn" posted something really nice today on the forum to strengthen a fellow struggler:

The fact that you are struggling is not a chidush (it's nothing new). But the fact the you're waging war against such a powerful force, now that's a chidush. And that you haven't given up even though you're feeling weak, that's a huge chidush. The midrash says (shir hashirim 7, 1) that those who stand up and prevail over the despicable menuval, the whole generation depends on them.

When someone overcomes the sex-drive it is considered (for obvious reasons) "lemaala miderech hateva" - supernatural, and in turn Hashem does supernatural things for him. If you take the passion and turn it towards Hashem (who is really deep down the source of the desire) you can experience immense spiritual pleasure and develop an intimate relationship with Hashem.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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