It seems that for me and a lot of people on the forum, the days after yom Kippur were especially hard. But why? Shouldn't they be easy for us? At least for a few days till Y"K wears off! Why were we falling or having such urges to fall, just moments after the Shofar blasts? It mamesh makes no sense. But its the truth!

FrumHangOut.com (FHO)

I would like to bring an important message today from Elya K (moderator of the free 12-Step phone conferences) that he posted on the forum:

I was recently at a conference, and one of the groups was having a discussion about internet filters and someone brought up the point that there is a huge difference between simply being "sober" or being in real "recovery" from lust.

When we are living a spiritual life, when we are not worried about the future and we have come to terms with our past... we live in the present moment, take one day at a time. When we are living like this... in serenity... there is little chance we will act out... no matter if we have a filter or not. (Webmaster Comment: Obviously though, until we really get there, a filter is essential).

So this is the end goal. The filter cannot be the end goal. Recovery is the end goal. And that means working a program of perfecting our Middos so we don't hold resentments, anger, fear, etc. We trust Hashem that whatever he has dealt us, moneywise, healthwise, Shidduch wise, is meant to be.

We get rid of our resentments and fears by examining them for our part in them. We make amends to people we have hurt and help others recover.

The tools are all here on the forum and on the GuardYourEyes site. The tools are in your communities at SA & SLAA meetings. There were 595 goyim at this conference and 20 Jews from all spectrums. Chassidim, Misnagdim, all walking around with their Yarmulkes making a Kiddush Hashem. We had a minyan on Shabbos with a sefer Torah, all arranged by the conference.

If they can do that publicly, you can go to a meeting. If they can LEAD meetings and get up and speak in front of hundreds of people as a proud yid, you can too.

It all depends on whether you REALLY want to get better or you're happy living on the cliff of the slippery slope, where the Yetzer Harah continues to convince you that it's OK to just peek just as long as you don't go all the way.

"Ano-nymous" comments on Elya's message with an intelligent parable. (Ano-nymous is a Bochur who is already clean for approximately two months and is well on his way to the "Wall of Hashem's Honor"!)

WOW Elya, this is powerful stuff. I can't agree more with the message. When you have a dumpster full of garbage in your house and you don't want to smell it, you don't cover up the dumpster with a towel and you don't spray a deodorant and leave it that way. If you really want the smell to go away, you need to take the dumpster out of your house. While you move the dumpster, it is wise to cover the dumpster and spray deodorant to stem the tide and make it smell a little better. But the goal is obviously to take out the garbage, because if you don't, as soon as the towel falls off or the deodorant wears off, it stinks again. Consider the filter the towel or deodorant. It is a great help, but if you don't fix YOURSELF the problem will arise as soon as you have an opportunity without the filter. This is the attitude all of us really need to have to truly succeed. Good luck to everyone (myself included)!

You may find that the Yetzer Hara feels stronger these days than usual. Because it's vacation-time, people are often not learning as much Torah as they usually do.

Hashem says "barasi Yetzer Hara, barasi torah tavlin" - "I created the Yetzer Hara, and I created the Torah as a medicine" ... And the Zohar (Chadash, Ki Setzai) says there is nothing that is "Mekatreg" (prosecutes i.e. defends against) the Yetzer Hara like learning Torah. The Zohar brings the Pasuk "if your enemy is hungry, feed him bread"... "bread" meaning Torah, as it says "Lechu Lachmu Bilachmi" - "Go eat of my bread"...

So dear Yidden, you will notice consistently that the Yetzer Hara gets stronger when we are learning less. Make sure to sink your head into a Blat Gemarah every day, without exception. The Gemarah is "Sechel Hayashar" - "Straight thinking", and when a person works hard on a Blat Gemarah to understand it well and figure it out, asking questions, finding answers, etc... his mind becomes holy and "straight" thinking. Immoral lusts, on the other hand, come from crooked thinking. The Yetzer Hara can't find his way into a "straight thinking" Yiddishe Kup.

Also reading the Holy Zohar for a few minutes each day, even without understanding it, is a big Segulah to chasing away the Yetzer Hara.

Tip: The Holy Sefer "Chok Liyisrael" provides a daily dose of Tanach, Mishna, Gemara and Zohar. The perfect combination to keep the "Menuval" away!

See this page for more great ideas to making your life more full with Torah!

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.