The Fourth Annual Shabbos Teshuva Drasha

by our beloved

GUEST SPEAKER - RABBI ARYEH FEIGENBAUM

“Dealing with Life’s Curve Balls"

this Thursday, September 28th NOON (EST) GYE Conference Call with Duvid Chaim.

Call (641) 715-3836 Access code 637207#

For both Men and Women

Do you have EXPECTATIONS in life that leave you disappointed?

Do you ever ask, “WHY ME? WHEN IS MY TURN FOR HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS?"

Rabbi Feigenbaum is one of our most popular and frequent guest speakers who always inspires us with his wisdom and advice.

Based on the Nesivas Shalom on how WE MISUNDERSTAND HAPPINESS.

This year, Rabbi Feigenbaum will be speaking to us not as addicts

who are suffering with our own unmanageable lives.

But he will be sharing with us how he is personally dealing with one of the Life’s Biggest Curve Balls.

A little over 9 years ago the Rabbi was diagnosed with lymphoma. He went through chemotherapy for 3 years until he was in remission. About 7 months ago lymphoma was once again discovered and treated with radiation. Unfortunately, more lymphoma has been discovered which the radiation did not wipe out. This time the regimen requires drugs which will cause hair loss. This new, visible side effect, which did not occur during previous treatments now forces him to make the news public.

YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS POWERFUL DRASHA

FROM A MAN WHO CAN TRULY ASK, “WHY ME?!"

Please mark your calendars now - you won't want to miss this Event!

The Gemara Berachos (34b) tells us "Penitents occupy a level that even the completely righteous cannot achieve." While this statement is encouraging and inspiring, what does it really mean and how can it be fair? Why should people who are consistently righteous and moral somehow lose out on access to spiritual achievements made available to former sinners?

Dov wrote to "Tried-123":

Don't give up, keep reaching out for help. Oh, and you may find that you will get more recovery by reaching out to help others rather than by mainly helping yourself cope. And one great way to help others is just by sharing your real pain them, strange as it sounds. We're addicts - we lead with our weaknesses!

"Tried-123" responds:

I always thought that people are very uncomfortable with another person's pain... You think it helps people to hear someone else's real pain? How would that work?

Dov answers:

Well, first of all, it only works for people who already have pain of their own, like other addicts, for example. And then, only when they are open to it, like, for example, if they are throwing up their tzoress all over you. Or if they admit they have tzoress but are not willing to go any further and actually open up about it. Or for folks that are so ashamed of themselves, that they think they just need a rock to climb under.

These types generally feel quite relieved when they hear a real live mirror talking to them, and they see that their lives are not over - by a long shot. They often begin to undergo quite a life change as a result, and they have only you to thank, for sharing your tzoress with them.

A bit nutty?

Maybe.
So?

One more thing, and this goes for Torah as much as for recovery: I believe that as long as I am sharing with other what I have actually experienced by using it in my life, they can benefit from it. On the other hand, "teaching" or "saying over" great and true stuff, bounces off their hearts and is relatively useless - except to cause more guilt. Their brains get lifted while their bodies are still in the garbage - and they know it. I have seen this.

More true ideas and inspiration is not what we really need. We seem to need experience from action - more real, personal Truth. It's like talking about our relationship with Hashem vs. saying your netilas yodayim or shehakol like you are plainly and simply talking to Someone.

It's in the action, not in the thinking about action. Gevalt.

So, all your struggles and pain will help someone someday, for certain.
Your deep hashkafic he'aros? - maybe they will, maybe they won't.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.