Someone asks on the forum:

I've often thought about the aveiros I've done, and I've never really properly turned round to HKB"H and said sorry properly because it sounds so meaningless due to the number of times I've fallen and said sorry, only to fall again. But this time, after joining this forum, I really want to turn around to Hashem and make a proper apology. But how? When it comes to it, I'm at loss for words and always just say, "I'm really sorry Hashem and I'll try not to do it again". But how can I show Hashem that this time I really mean it and that I really want to change?

Shlomo Responds:

From my experience on GYE, it seems that the best way to ask for forgiveness is to simply show that you're still fighting! Maybe you don't take a second look at the attractive woman walking by or perhaps you take a different route to work so you don't have to see an immodest billboard or advertisement. If you can convert your desire to please Hashem into positive thoughts and actions (and even helping others), I think that's the best that you can do.

And another thing is to just keep at it. Honestly, eventually things are bound to take an upturn, and as long as you never give up, that's yet another sign to Hashem that you're sorry for what's in your past and you truly want to make a change. Remember, the sign of a true warrior is not one who never loses a fight. A true warrior is one who can pick himself up and dust himself off and be ready to keep battling!

"Bardichev" responds in his indelible style:

Forget the apology for right now, just stay clean!!

Yes, we all want to do Teshuvah.

But here on GYE you will learn how to live life.

You will grow. You will be happy and at peace.

So if you will ask me, 'Bards, what's so bad about a little regret - and a huge "I'm sorry"??'

I will answer you, my dearest chaver.

You are in a cesspool. You got your Yom Tov suit dirty.

Does Mommy need an "I'm sorry" now, or does mommy needs you out of the cesspool??

I heard a story from the Tzaddik, Reb Nosson Vachtfoigel, the Lakewood Mashgiach ZT"L...

A bachur did a sin.

He asked the Mashgiach for a kapparah.

The Mashgiach said, "Come back in a few weeks".

Some weeks passed...

He came back.

The mashgiach said, "Come at the end of the z'man".

"Come next z'man"...

"Come at the end of next z'man"...

The bachur was getting antsy...

He came Elul...

Selichos...

Rosh Hashanah...

Finally the Mashgiach said, "Come to me on Yom Kippur".

On Yom Kippur the bachur said, "Rebbe, what should I do??"

The Mashgiach replied, "Gribble nisht" (don't delve into it)...

Move on!!

Often times the Yetzer Hara wants us to be busy with the kapparah as a way to keep us HOLDING ON to the sin.

Just Keep On Trucking!!

All the Belzer chassidim were gathered for the first night of slichos.
The Belzer Rebbe walked in and looked around.
"Where is Yankel the tailor?", he asked.
The chassidim next to him responded;
"We don't know. He's not here. Why?"
"Go get him. We're not starting slichos till he comes."
"What?! Rebbe, there are 1000s of people waiting to start slichos! We can't just hold everyone for a tailor!"
"Well, we are about to. Go bring him, please."
So the chassidim went to Yankele the tailor's house to find him lying on the ground, drunk.
"Yankele, come to shul. The Rebbe is waiting for you."
"But I'm drunk! How can I go to slichos like this?"
"It doesn't matter. You have to come. Everyone's waiting for you."
So Yankel picked himself up and walked with the Rebbe's chassidim to shul.
When he came to the Rebbe, the Rebbe asked him:
"Tell me exactly the whole story of what happened, ending in you getting drunk tonight."

So Yankele the tailor told his story...

I work with material.
I have a hard time getting by.
Then, a high ranking officer in the army had me do some expensive work for him.
I was gonna finally have some money.
But he canceled half his order.
I said to Hashem:
"Hashem, you took away half my parnassa! From now on, I'm only doing half the mitzvos!"
And I did.
I only put on one tefillin in the morning. I only davened half of davening. I only washed one hand. Etc...
And then the officer lessened his order again.
So I said to Hashem:
"Ok. Now I'm gonna do even less."
And I did.
After a while, I realized that this is a bad cycle to be in.
So I said to Hashem:
"Hashem, let's make up. I'll start doing all the mitzvos again, and you give me my full parnassa. Okay?"
And then I did as all close friends do, when they make up.
I made a le'chaim.
I sat down at my table and poured two shots.
"To a long and loving relationship, Hashem! Lechaim!"
"Hashem, You didn't drink Your shot!"
So I drank it for Him.
And tell me, is one lechaim enough for the King of Kings?!
So I poured one lechaim after another, till I finished the whole bottle!
And that's why I was lying on the floor drunk tonight.

The Belzer Rebbe gave Yankel a big hug.
"You, my holy yid, are standing next me to tonight when we say slichos.
Because you have a relationship with Hashem.
You talk to Him.
You love Him.
And He is real to you.
So I want to be with you at this crucial time."

That story made me cry for some reason.
Hope you like it.

- Uri

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.