Sfeikos b'emunah (Doubts in Faith)
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1694  
In Today's Issue
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Announcements: Attention, Struggling Girls/Women!
12 Step Attitude: Emunah Peshuta
Chizuk: Emunah and Bitachon
Chizuk: Nothing to worry about
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12 Step Attitude
Emunah Peshuta
As any 12-Stepper will tell you, learning true faith and reliance on Hashem is the corner stone of sobriety.
By 7Up

"Me" posted:

I saw in the sefer Shomer Emunim that we can't even begin to fathom the Emunah (faith) that our forefathers had. The revelation that they had of Hashem is way beyond our grasp... BUT, Emunah P'shuta (simple faith) is our yerusha (inheritance) too, and we still have it and we will never lose it!

Emunah P'shuta means - I don't understand anything; everything is hidden before me, BUT... Hashem is in control. Period!!!

I don't need to see how Hashem is in control because.... I "know" it.

I don't need to feel that Hashem is in control because... I "know" it to be true.

Emunah P'shuta means "knowing" that Hashem is running EVERYTHING in spite of my lack of seeing it, feeling it, hearing it!!

No wisdom or philosophy is needed for this type of Emunah. It works even in the deepest depths of every kind of golus and even during the darkest times!

Dov (who is sober in SA from an all-consuming lust addiction since the 1990s) responds to "Me's" post:

What "Me" just said... there really is nothing more to say. (In the 12-Step groups they talk about "Half-measures" and "full measures"). For me, this Yesod is the only "full measure".

"Trying" posted:

This Shabbos, when the Y"H was trying to get me, I davened to Hashem and told him that he (the YH) is stronger then me and that I realized many times that I can't win over him, so He should please remove him from me so that I can stay pure. It was wonderful. Hashem listened to my prayers every time! And it wasn't even hard, cuz it wasn't ME struggling. I guess this is what it means to "let go and let g-d". I didn't come out all battered and bruised from battle, since I didn't fight. It was a wonderful feeling.

"Nura" Posted:

I had a moment of "LET GO AND LET G-D" clarity yesterday that I want to share. It's one of those moments when the whole blackness of the night gets lit up for a few seconds - as if by lightning.

Most times I feel that all the knowledge and understanding that I have regarding bitachon (reliance on G-d) and emunah (faith) is just that; knowledge - but without really "feeling" it in my heart. Can I "talk the talk"? Sure, like the biggest of Tzadikim! But when it comes time to actually "walking the walk".....

Well, yesterday I was feeling the weight of the whole entire world on my shoulders when all of a sudden I felt like lightning flashed before me and I hit my forehead with my hand and said to myself: "Wait a minute here Nurah - you little shnook! Your body, with all its zillions of details is working just fine all these years - may the Almighty continue to watch over all of us - and that is without too much input from you. So why do you think that the Almighty needs your help now to BALANCE THE CHECKBOOK?!!"

Yes, He Who gives life - gives Sustenance!

Along the lines of what "Nura" just wrote, I once heard a beautiful vort. The Pasuk says: "Asapra el chok, Hashem amar elai, b'ni ata, ani hayom yeliditicha". We can translate the Pasuk as follows: "Asapra el chok - when I talk about Parnasa" (chok is a lashon of parnasa) and I wonder what will be, "Hashem amar elai - Hashem says to me","B'ni ata - you are my son", "ani hayom yeliditicha? - did I just give birth to you today??"

In other words, "how did you manage until today? Well, in the very same way I will care for you now as well!"

"7up" (a woman) posted:

Thursday morning I went with an 'adopted' daughter who was in labor, figuring I'd be home by afternoon. Trust me, I never figured I'd be there 3 days straight!!

Anyway, BH all is fine now; Am Yisrael was zoche to another little boy.

This concept of "Letting Go and Letting G-d" is still a new concept to me, at least in the realm of addiction - but oh; what a freeing one! I spent the last 3 days sharing this yesod. There is nothing like a "birthing experience" to really send home the message that Hashem is VERY CLEARLY running the show, second by second!

Emunah and Bitachon
Nothing to worry about

Someone wrote us an e-mail, and we tried to reply the best we could. Maybe others can take Chizuk from this "give and take" as well...

Excerpts from his letter...

I masturbate because I have no bitachon. I am what they call (although I disagree with the term) a "BT," not born into a religious home, and am in college.... I masturbate because I feel lonely, depressed, and anxious about the future, especially that of whether or not I'll marry. I am ready to give up this whole lewd way of life if Hashem gave me something to grab onto...

Excerpts from our reply...

... About your "confessed" lack of Bitachon... Someone once came to a Hassidic master and complained that he didn't have enough Emunah and Bitachon. The Rebbe asked him, "so what? why does it bother you"? "Rebbe!" the man cried, "but I'm a Jew!". "If so", the Rebbe replied, "you have nothing to worry about".

In other words, the Yetzer Hara wants you to believe you don't have Bitachon. But if it bothers you that you don't have enough Bitachon then it means you really have Bitachon deep down! :-) So don't let him fool you. His goal is to make a person depressed. In such a state a person can reach the lowest levels of impurity and is vulnerable to sin.

Some people say they would be able to stop if only they were dating, married or had this or that. Don't wait. Work on yourself now before it's too late. Masturbation is an addictive behavior. By the time you feel you are ready to stop, you may be addicted and find it very difficult to stop.

Also, in the merit of you working on it now, G-d will send you what you need... I would suggest you talk to friends or matchmakers about finding a date. See here for some great advice on Jewish dating. Also, join a Jewish dating site like JWed (Frumster) or MitMazel.com.

May G-d be with you!

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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