The saying goes: “The man who never did anything wrong, never did anything.” Experience that makes a man ultimately successful is always earned through his initial failures. The difference between a successful person and a failure is not the number of times they fell, but rather the number of times they got up again. The successful person got up just one time more than the failure did. Our Sages said: “The Torah cannot be upheld, only through one who has stumbled in it first.” The falls are part of the struggle. And through them, we learn how to make better fences, try better strategies, and ultimately become much greater human beings.

Someone posted:

"having a handle on the lusting is proving to leave me with enough energy, which can be more profitably used elsewhere".

R' Dov responds:

Please consider that you are really only recognizing the tip of the iceberg when you say this. It is much, much more than a waste of your precious energy. It is actually deforming and poisoning every aspect of your life with self-centerdness, disproportional comparisons and irrational thinking.

If you take hold of the steps and actually work them the way your sponsor did, get a sober chevra to stay sober with (preferably alive and talkable, like in a meeting) and make calls as needed, your chances are really good.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.