I love her - but I'm not in love
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1673  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Personal Stories: Slave to my Phone
Image of the Day
12 Step Attitude: I love my wife – But I’m not “IN LOVE” with her!
Torah: Flow of blessing
 
 
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Personal Stories
 
Slave to my Phone
 
By GYE Member

We got a "venting email" from a woman a few weeks ago:

How can I say no to my phone? Sometimes, I think to myself that it's pathetic that I need to keep looking at Instagram, Whatsapp profile pics, Facebook etc., not for porn, but just because either I'm bored or to see updates. Again I'm just venting to get it out and admit that, I guess, I'm addicted to my phone. I honestly feel like a slave sometimes.

Yaakov Responded:

Download here a booklet I wrote on Technology for the Stolin Karlin Chassidim. It has a lot of good ideas and chizuk in this regard.

See also these great videos about technology addiction on GYE's video site.

Meanwhile, let's start with one step... Can you agree to leave your phone out of your bedroom at night? In other words, don't sleep with it next to your bed. When you go to sleep, leave it charging outside of your room. At least this way you won't be falling asleep while looking at your phone, and looking at it first thing when you get up. Are you willing to take this step?

She responded:

Yes, I am willing to do that. It will feel great to have some freedom from it. I will look at the booklet and see how it is. Thank you!

Yesterday she wrote:

Since the beginning of the month, I have been putting my phone in my closet and haven't had it next to me at night! Almost two weeks since!!!

When I look at my phone after I do negel vasser, I think, "That's all I missed?" I'm happy I didn't wake myself up for that nonsense. It's nice to have freedom and for me to have some kind of boundaries.

Image of the Day
 
12 Step Attitude
 
I love my wife – But I’m not “IN LOVE” with her!
 
By Duvid Chaim

Everyone thought that Mark and Sarah were the perfect couple. They remember when it was time for Mark to start dating. He was the “ideal catch” for any young woman who was lucky enough to get him. Mark’s father was a prominent doctor in New York. And his mother always praised Mark for being her favorite son – he was the youngest of four brothers. His parents started getting calls from the Shadchanim when Mark was 21. But they wanted Mark to finish college before he started dating.

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Torah
 
Flow of blessing
 
By GYE

Indented words are excerpts taken from www.jewishsexuality.com

The week of Yesod in the Sefirat HaOmer corresponds to the rectification of the holy bris. Today is Malchus She'biyesod. "Malchus" is the all-inclusive day, which is the highlight and culmination of the week of "Yesod".

Like all of the other commandments, Sefirat HaOmer is loaded with Kabbalistic significance. Without the Kabbalah, we would not know what we were doing when we put on tefillin, wave the lulav, or blow the shofar on Rosh Hashanah.

Yes, there are simple explanations, but someone who only familiarizes himself with pashat, or simple understandings, resembles a swimmer who is afraid to put on a mask and stick his face in the water. If you tell him there is a whole beautiful, marine world below the surface, teeming with all forms of life, he won't believe you because he has never experienced this deeper, inner world for himself.

When it comes to Sefirat HaOmer, look in your prayer books. At least in the major league prayer books in Israel, you will see adjacent to each day of the counting, two mystical words like Hesed of Hesed, Tiferet of Gevorah, or Hod of Tiferet. These words are from the Kabbalistic world of the Sefirot (channels of spiritual blessing).

Each day of the counting, we are called upon to rectify another sefirah. This is an integral part of the process of inner purification that we are to undergo as we approach the holiday of Shavuot (Feast of Weeks). We are not only to mention the day, but also to undertake the detailed, laborious toil of perfecting our character traits and the channels of celestial blessing that are directly parallel to them, just as a marionette puppet is connected to the hand above, or just like the keys of a piano are connected to the chords inside the piano's lid. Each time a key is hit, a different sound is produced. So too, each time we improve a character trait, a channel of blessing is cleansed in the spiritual worlds above, releasing a flow of blessing to our world below.

Today, Malchus She'biyesod, is an especially auspicious time to take upon ourselves more stringency in sexual purity, in preparation for the giving of the Torah!

For example, one may take upon himself to immerse in a Mikva every time he has a seminal emission. This is known to be a big Segulah for Shmiras Habris. For more on Mikva'os, see here.

Below is a picture of the holy Tzadik Yesod Olam, Rav Shlomo From Zevil, whose Yartzeit was yesterday, Yesod she'beYesod. He worked his whole life on the aspect of family purity amongst Yidden, and with his own hands and at his own expense he built countless Mikva'os in Eretz Yisrael.

In his merit, may we all be Zoche to true Kedusha and Tahara!

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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