Protecting our kids, saving ourselves from the obsessions
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1644  
In Today's Issue
Announcements: Dov's Q&A Thursday Call
Image of the Day: Protecting Our Kids
Text: The Triangle of Self-Obsession
Image of the Day
Video of the Day: A Tale of Two Mothers
Daily Dose of Dov: Should I Tell My Parents?
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Dov's Q&A Thursday Call

The topic for this Thursday's call: 

"Purim story and Recovery"

Image of the Day

How often do you wish and hope that your kids don't turn out just like you, addicted to the Internet porn? In the last issue, we brought you many resources for protecting the children and for opening up an honest conversation with them. Here is a quick infographic for the same purpose:

Protecting Our Kids
Protecting Our Kids
The Triangle of Self-Obsession
(This is NA literature, but the concept is the same for all addictions)

When we are born, we are conscious only of ourselves, we are the universe. We perceive little other than our basic needs, and if these needs are met we are content. As our consciousness expands, we become aware of the world outside ourselves. We discover that there are people, places, and things around us, and that they fulfill our needs. At this point, we also begin to recognize differences and develop preferences. We learn to want and choose. We are the center of a growing universe and expect to be provided with the things we need and want. Our source of contentment shifts from basic needs miraculously met to the fulfillment of our desires.

Most children, through experiences over a period of time, come to realize that the outside world cannot provide all their wants and needs. They begin to supplement what is given to them with their own efforts. As their dependency on people, places, and things decreases they begin to look to themselves more and more. They become more self-sufficient and learn that happiness and contentment come from within. Most continue to mature; they recognize and accept their strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. At some point, they usually seek the help of a Power greater than themselves to provide the things they cannot provide for themselves. For most people, growing up is a natural process.

As addicts, however, we seem to falter along the way. We never seem to outgrow the self-centeredness of the child. We never seem to find the self-sufficiency that others do. We continue to depend on the world around us and refuse to accept that we will not be given everything. We become self-obsessed; our wants and needs become demands. We reach a point where contentment and fulfillment are impossible. People, places, and things cannot possibly fill the emptiness inside of us, and we react to them with resentment, anger, and fear.

Resentment, anger, and fear make up the triangle of self-obsession. All of our defects of character are forms of these three reactions. Self-obsession is at the heart of our insanity.

Resentment is the way most of us react to our past. It is the reliving of past experiences, again and again in our minds. Anger is the way most of us deal with the present. It is our reaction to and denial of reality. Fear is what we feel when we think about the future. It is our response to the unknown; a fantasy in reverse. All three of these things are expressions of our self-obsession. They are the way that we react when people, places, and things (past, present, and future) do not live up to our demands.

In NA, we are given a new way of life and a new set of tools. These are the Twelve Steps, and we work them to the best of our ability. If we stay clean, and can learn to practice these principles in all our affairs, a miracle happens. We find freedom—from drugs, from our addiction, and from our self-obsession. Resentment is replaced with acceptance; anger is replaced with love; and fear is replaced with faith.

We have a disease that, in the end, forces us to seek help. We are fortunate that we are given only one choice; one last chance. We must break the triangle of self-obsession; we must grow up, or die.

The way we react to people, places, and things:













Image of the Day
Video of the Day

A Tale of Two Mothers

We all have times in our lives when we feel abandoned and alone. It's in times like these that we have to turn to Hashem and speak to Him. Hashem wants us to ask Him to help us feel His presence in our lives.

This video is from the Category 'Dealing with Depressionof GYE's Video site.

Daily Dose of Dov
Should I Tell My Parents?
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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