Have an itch?
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1623  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day: Aishes Chayil
Announcements: Big Book Study Group for Women
Chizuk: The Itch
Announcements: My Filter Blocks GYE
Daily Dose of Dov: Lack of Trust in Marriage
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Aishes Chayil
 
Aishes Chayil
Announcements
 
Big Book Study Group for Women
 

Zissy's Big Book Study Group For Struggling Women

Every Monday, 12 pm EST

"How we have Recovered" - Focusing on the solution, not the problem.

Zissy has been on live calls through saapp.org for a while, and has worked the steps with a sponsor. Now she wants to share what she has with other suffering female addicts.

Dial In Number:
U.S: (515) 739-1514
Israel: 055 966-1084
U.K: 0330 998-1254

Access Code: (Only shared with women. Contact Zissy at yiddishemomy@gmail.com)

Chizuk
 
The Itch
 
By Yaakov from GYE

Every human being has a divine soul. This soul yearns for connection to where it came from, the Almighty Himself--Who is the source of all good, pleasure and oneness. This yearning is known as the “G-d hole”, and it is felt particularly strongly by those who struggle with lust. You see, lust is only the flip-side of the same coin (Rav Tzadok Hakohen of Lublin discusses this in depth). What we are really craving is connection, oneness, and inner peace. But because we are in a body of flesh and blood and don’t know any better, these desires often express themselves as lust. When a beautiful someone walks by or we see a lustful image on the internet, our eyes lock onto that image and the fleeting dopamine release we feel in the brain tricks us into believing that what we yearn for deep in our souls can be found there. “If only I would have that, I would finally have what I really always wanted”. But what a lie this is! We will never find what we seek in lust. Read the hundreds of stories on GYE of people who gave into their every desire for years and years, only making them more and more miserable, depressed and destroying their lives in the end.

The G-d hole inside us can be compared to a disease that we all need to deal with. The symptoms of this disease cause us itching and bleeding, but the more we scratch the itches and try to stem the bleeding with Band-Aids, the disease just grows and gets worse. Every time we look at something we shouldn’t and allow the lust into our hearts, the wounds grow and the bleeding increases. This causes us to feel a terrible need to scratch the itches and keep Band-Aiding the bleeding wounds, causing the disease to get worse and worse.

Instead, we must deal with the disease itself, that hole deep in our souls. We must begin to believe that ONLY G-d holds all that we seek, and that lust can never fill the hole inside us—it only makes it bigger.

So how do we ever fill the inner yearnings – and deal with the disease itself?

The first step to choose: we can’t continue to hold the stick at both ends. As long as we still believe that lust can provide us with what we crave, we can't begin to deal with the real issue. Only when we are ready to surrender this illusion and have FAITH that only G-d – Who created all beauty, love, desire and good—can provide what we need, then we will have the strength to turn away from those things that keep forcing us back into the illusion. However, once we’ve already allowed the lust into our hearts, the illusion is so strong that we can’t fight it. It is almost impossible to see the lie for what it is once we have let the lust in. Even Shlomo Hamelech, the wisest of all men, allowed women to turn his heart away from G-d in his older years, because allowed himself to enjoy their beauty (see the medrashim about Bas-Pharaoh and her dances on the day the Beis Hamikdash was inaugurated). Wisdom can't overcome the power of lust. The only way to fight the illusion is not to look where we shouldn’t in the first place, so that the lie doesn't overtake us.

So instead of scratching the itch and putting band-aids on the ever-growing wounds, we must work instead on our FAITH that G-d is the source of all our soul’s desires. This makes it so much easier – as Chazal tell us to be “Kal Kanesher” (light as an eagle) and turn away from bad, instead of trying to fight these powerful desires each time we are tempted. Once we internalize that it’s one big lie—and that it’s NOT what we are REALLY looking for and it can NEVER GIVE US what we really want, it becomes easy to turn away.

And once we develop this faith and stop allowing the lust in, we will find that the wounds begin to heal on their own. The terrible itchiness begins to fade, and the G-d hole inside us begins to fill up with the light and warmth of G-d.

"Tzadik Be’emunaso Yichyeh" - The Tzadik will live in His Faith (Chavakuk)

Announcements
 
My Filter Blocks GYE
 
Does your filter site block GYE and you're embarrassed to ask them to open it? We have a solution for you!
 

The following GYE password protected websites have been opened for all users by the following Jewish filter companies:

  • Gentech
  • Meshimer
  • eNativ
  • NativUSA
  • NetFree
  • Netspark
  • Rimon
  • Etrog

gye.nu - Our English password protected site

gye.be - Our Hebrew password protected site

gyeyid.com - Our Yiddish site

For both sites, this is the login info to access the sites:

User: gye

Password: safe613

If you know anyone who has this issue with our site, please let them know!

Daily Dose of Dov
 
Lack of Trust in Marriage
 
By the.guard

A woman wrote:

I don't know what my husband does or doesn't do re Internet, he plays the innocent part, but I caught porn several years back, and he never came clean saying , "it's in my past, I'm doing GYE". He gets ur emails but they rarely get opened. 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I don't trust him, my marriage feels dead, don't see anything changing unless I threaten to leave, which I'm not doing till the kids get married. Why should he change? There's no pressure, and in his mind everyone struggles with this.

Read article
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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