Root-causes and sources for this disease
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1611  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Testimonials: My take on understanding pornography
Q & A: The Magnitude and Root-Causes of Today’s Kedusha Crisis
Torah: Source for Sexual Addictions from R' Tzadok
Links: Shovavim Audio Shiur
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Testimonials
 
My take on understanding pornography
 
By obormottel

StrugglingStefan writes:

I just read the article "Uunderstanding pornography" and agree with its conclusions. I have noticed in my own struggle that the longer I refrain from viewing porn, the easier it is for me to refrain images or stop them when they come into my head so that I don't act out. GYE has been very helpful in this with the daily chizuk and support. I feel I am on my way out of the porn trap. I am hopeful that the "maps in my brain" created by porn can be re-routed towards healthy sex and human interaction. It feels as though this is already happening the longer I fight and win against the yetzer hara.

Q & A
 
The Magnitude and Root-Causes of Today’s Kedusha Crisis
 
Part 3/12
 
What is the magnitude of the problems that have arisen as a result of digital technology, and how can we address the core roots that lead to these problems?
 
By Yaakov from GYE

> Based on what you said, is it accurate to say that around 70% of frum people who have internet still have unfiltered devices?

We don't know the exact numbers, but I think this is a safe guestimate for the U.S. Even if more than that amount have filters on some of their devices such as in the home, they likely won't have on their personal mobile devices. (Note: Besides for the great danger that this is to them, what kind of message does this send to our children?)


> Also you mentioned that "hundreds of people have been referred to SA therapy because of sexual promiscuity, beyond illicit images. Can you tell me how many hundreds that is. Is it 200. Is it 900?

Again, I don't have exact numbers but there was a recent international convention of SA in Israel and someone who was there sent us the following email:

GuardYourEyes just got a big mention and a round of applause at the Yerushalayim SA convention with 700 people. The speaker referred to GYE as the biggest feeder of SA members in Israel.

A man named Dov has about 20 years clean in SA and he is the leading moderator on our forums. He also leads a special SA phone conference. He has been guiding hundreds of GYE members for about 3 years now. In 2012 he wrote this email to us:

I just want you to know that I just got back from a sexual sobriety shabbaton with ~300 people, at least 100 wives and >200 sexaholics, all going to SA and S-Anon meetings and getting well, be"H. It was incredible. The speakers, the ruach, the simcha, the meetings, the honesty and the sobriety. Lots of laughing and lots of crying, lots of couples working hard to get life right for themselves and their families. What can I say? And there were at least 30 guys there who came over to me to thank me for GYE. Many told me that although GYE on its own wasn't enough for them ...but they found friends on GYE, and those friends led them to SA. Now they are sober, their wives have support with their S-Anon sponsors and buddies, and their families are transformed and getting better. After sitting down with the first two or three guys, I took a break to go to the bathroom. As soon as I locked the stall door, I burst into tears. A great member in the fellowship told me today that he did not see GYE as an appropriate way to save so many families when I first mentioned it to him. But I stuck with it, stayed available to the scared and confused "ba'alei Teshuvah"...and now many families are alive that were previously dead and dying. I know that it is not just me, but Duvid Chaim, Steve, Shlomo and others on GYE, too. He admitted that GYE is a conduit that Hashem is using to change the way the frum world gets into recovery and that he is amazed.

In 2013 Dov sent us the following email:

Just got home a few hrs ago from JSS (the SA frum weekend) and met at least 10 guys there who came forward to me and thanked me for GYE, specifically reporting that they read the 'Daily Dose of Dov' on your chizuk emails and it carried (or pushed them) them into recovery. I know there were a lot more who were helped along by your website but did not know to associate me with it at all, so they didn't say hi. I am so grateful for the opportunity given to me...yet again.

More recently Dov wrote:

I have had the zechus through GYE of individually helping about 30 people a year successfully move into good SA recovery via the "Desperados call", posting, and chatting on GYE in my spare time. By the very same token, I have helped many GYE people keep and open mind and steer clear of SA and 12 steps when it was not right for them, b"H, and get to counselors and shrinks who can help them navigate and make the hard choices. It's incredibly rewarding work. Thank G-d for GYE! And thank G-d that there are qualified counselors and shrinks who can help 12 step and non-12 step guys get the help they really need.

Most GYE people I meet are so terribly alone, as I was in those 20 years before recovery. You have started a real chessed society that the Chofetz Chaim would probably have been been proud of. He stepped in the breach, and his was bris haloshon while GYE is helping many with bris ham'or. Amazing...

Bottom line: I think it is safe to say that about half of SA members today in Israel have gotten to the groups through GYE, and perhaps about 25% of frum people in the U.S. got there through GYE.

To be continued...
Torah
 
 
Source for Sexual Addictions from R' Tzadok
 
Links
 

Lev Arye. 

Shovavim Audio Shiur
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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