Avraham (a Talmid of Duvid Chaim's groups) writes:

The 12 step program, specifically addressing my list of fears in step 5, really helped me overcome procrastination. I was holding myself back from doing things I knew I should be doing. After the Chevra helped me let go of my fears, I took my responsibilities head on and dealt with them. Or as Duvid Chaim says, "I grew up".

Dear Duvid Chaim,

Here's what I understand so far about this great voyage that we're on. Please let me know if I'm getting it right.

1. We are not working on the Lust Addiction (we are powerless over the addiction), rather we are working on:

• Understanding where the Pain and R.I.D. (Restlessness, Irritability & Discontent) that drive us to lust are coming from.
• Learning how to get rid of that pain and R.I.D.
  

2. This new way of living will help not only overcome my addiction to Lust but will also help me overcome other compulsive behaviors, like chronic procrastination, massive time wasting through movies etc. that I also use to cover my fears, pain and R.I.D.

3. The 12 Step Program is for all people and will enhance the Yiddishkeit (i.e. Dveikus B'hashem) of anyone that works the steps. I am "lucky" to be addicted to Lust etc. and feel like my life is completely unmanageable, because I felt so helpless and came here.

Question:

My Lust addiction (and I am addicted, since I cannot stop) is not what scares me, rather it's the chronic avoidance I have for facing my life, for which I use procrastination, movies, computer games and mast. (It used to be a twice a week, since I joined GYE it's now down to once every 2 weeks, and with this program IY"H it will never happen again).

Can this program work for me even if it's not the Lust Addiction per-se that makes me feel my life is unmanageable and I'm not my own master?

Duvid Chaim replies:

Dear Shipmate,

I am truly impressed with your understanding of the Program and the Call as you've seen it so far. You are demonstrating a real grasp of the issues and have good insight into where we're headed.

I love your question and feel your desire and urge for answers. Please re-read your Point #2. In it you'll see the answer to your question.

You can substitute the words/issues you use like "chronic avoidance", "procrastination", "movies", "computer games" and "mast" instead of the word "lust."

These are all just different "pain relievers" that you use to medicate your pain. As you know, this Program has its origins as an AA recovery program for people that medicate their pain with alcohol. Since 1939, this Program has proven to be effective for people who medicate with food, drugs, nicotine, work, co-dependency, and more - including lust.

So I believe that if you stick with the Program and really work the Steps, you will see what many in recovery see - and that is freedom from the underlying pain (RID), a significant reduction in the dominance of one's EGO and a level of Serenity that you may have never experienced in your life.

You will learn a lot more about the 12 Step Promises through our reading. So stay on Board and join us on our Journey to Freedom.

Looking FORWARD

Duvid Chaim

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.