Dealing with Fantasies
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1590  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
12 Step Attitude: Guard Your Eyes
Announcements: My Filter Blocks GYE
Daily Dose of Dov: Dealing with Fantasies
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
12 Step Attitude
 
 
Guard Your Eyes
 

 

Click the link above for a great article from Aish.com that speaks about the importance of Shmiras Einayim and mentions GYE. A special thank you to Duvid Chaim from GYE who helped with this article. For more information contact him at duvidchaim@2b1institute.com). Below is a quote from the article:

Just as the Torah prescribes the laws of kosher food, training us to carefully examine what we choose to consume, so too we must be vigilant in visual consumption of TV, films and other media.

It is far easier to keep negativity away in the first place than to fight it head-on. That's why it's important to draw a red line: a protective boundary that distances us from images – websites or films with violence and exploitation – that fall below our personal standard. Before consuming, ask yourself: Am I choosing high or low? Do I need this in my life? Nobody has the right to fill our minds. We have the power to choose what to consume.

 

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Daily Dose of Dov
 
Dealing with Fantasies
 
By Dov

There is an old chassidishe story about a bal teshuvah who asked his Rebbe about dealing with inappropriate thoughts (particularly regarding distractions during davening). He told him to go to such-and-such a yid's house that night. The chosid traveled there immediately, got there kind of late at night, knocked on the door, and was ignored. He looked around the house and saw a yid in there! He knocked again and banged a few times....nothing.

Nu. So he sat there and fell asleep for the night. In the morning, the door opens wide and a smiling yid welcomes him into his home, sits him down and gives him something to drink.

The guest asks, "what's up with last night"?! and he is told something like this:

"I am the ba'al habos here. It's my home, nobody else's. I decide who I let in and who I don't. Just because you or anybody knocks on the door, does not mean I need to open the door or even check who it is. I don't have to, right?"

Can you hear this? It's not a mussar lesson to me, nor philosophy. It's just a fact.

One caveat: I, an addict, use this method every day now. But before recovery it was completely impossible for me to even relate to it. It was basically just another silly (but attractive) sounding idea for me to feel guilty about failing at. In recovery, I learned what I can tolerate and what I cannot tolerate; that I am a precious person who doesn't deserve to suffer with lust thoughts. It took me a long time to accept that I just deserved better. They are just torture, nothing more.

So now I let go of them and Hashem helps dispose of them. I openly and calmly talk to Him about them as humbly as I can; I call any guy who understands my illness and tell him about it in a clear but safe way; and I share about it at recovery meetings.

One day at a time, with Hashem's assistance, I'm as free as I want to be.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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