How to experience a change of heart
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1559  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day: This year, give yourself a gift.
Editor’s Note: Final Appeal
Testimonials: The 90-day miracle
Torah: A Change of Heart
Testimonials: Grateful for my husband getting help
Links: Rabbi Feigenbaum's Shiur
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
This year, give yourself a gift.
 
This year, give yourself a gift.
Editor’s Note
 
Final Appeal

Our Final Appeal for the Annual Campaign


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Testimonials
 
The 90-day miracle
 
By Fulfilling613
 
By GYE Member

GYE is a lifesaver and has completely changed me.

I can't begin to tell you the difference it's made in my life.

On day 90, I started an incredible new job that can only be explained by my joining the 90-day chart.

BH, I've been incredibly busy growing a company, and I just don't have the time to breath, let alone spend it on GYE.

And since I'm so busy, I have less time to think about my issues, and so I have less need for chizuk.

Torah
 
A Change of Heart
 
Rabbi Shaul Rosenblatt
 
By GYE Admin

I want to respond to a question that I have been asked numerous times over the years about Yom Kippur. It goes roughly as follows: we stand before God on Yom Kippur and say we are sorry. We admit that we have ‘transgressed’ and made mistakes in our lives during the past year. We might have spoken badly about others, not been grateful, been dishonest or disrespectful to our spouses. Then we say, usually with full sincerity, that we will never do it again – all the time knowing full well that it won’t take long until we are back to our old ways. The sincere desire for the change of Yom Kippur seems to give way to the same old, same old, not too long after the fast ends. So what is the point?

Here’s how I see it. You just can’t beat sincerity. And a sincere desire to change one’s life and live differently is change itself. Living up to it is important, of course, but it’s not what matters most. That’s because we are all human and continually get things wrong – even when we have the best intentions. We absolutely, genuinely don’t want to be rude to our spouses – and then we end up doing just that. We want to get up early and use our time well – then sleep till midday. We plan on calling our parents to see how they are doing – then get distracted by life and it doesn’t happen. This is simply the human experience. No matter how sincere and committed we are, we don’t always manage to live up to our own hopes and expectations.

The change we are looking towards at Yom Kippur is not a change of action in the future – no one can guarantee such a thing. It is, rather, a change of heart in the present moment. That’s the best we can do. Taking responsibility for the past, realising that we genuinely do want to be different in the future and the commitment to doing our best to move in a different direction in the future. We play a role in whether that different direction happens or not, but ultimately it is not in our hands. Life springs surprises, we lose clarity, we get lost in the craziness of the moment and we find ourselves back where we were. And we make the exact mistake that we were never going to make again.

But that’s OK; that’s the process of life. You make choices, you make decisions, you make commitments and then you fall back. However….. there is growth in this process because more often than not, it’s ten steps forward but only nine steps back. And that’s progress itself. But in addition, there are those very special times in life – those gifts – when you see have a new insight, and you see it so deeply and so clearly and with such clarity – that you never go back. Those moments are not ours to command. We can look for them, hope for them and pray for them – but they will come according to God’s plan, not ours.

Yom Kippur is about a looking for this change of heart. Whether or not that change will be permanent is not our job. The sincerity and the genuineness is what matters. If you mean it in the moment – you mean it. And that’s worth everything.

Testimonials
 
Grateful for my husband getting help
 
By Miriam A.
 
By GYE Admin

We have enjoyed your emails for over a year. Your emails were a lifeline when my husband needed it. Thank you so much for being a support for us in a time of need. How special it was to know that my husband was not the only one going through this. Hashem should give you koach to continue to help more people.

Links
 

Recording of an inspirational shiur for Yom Kippur

Rabbi Feigenbaum's Shiur
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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