I was struggling since age 15. Never made it past 20 days on a good cycle. I found GYE by doing a search in Google.

Originally, I thought that if I joined the 90 day challenge, things would be fine. It wasn't. I was too scared to join a meeting. I searched on your site to see if there were recorded meetings that I could listen to instead of live meetings. What I found was Joe and Charlie's 12-Step recordings. I listened to them and realised that this is what I should be doing. So I wrote to SA, and I got an email for the local guys. I joined a meeting and got a local sponsor, and, thank G-d, I have been sober ever since (well over a year).

I am currently sponsoring 2 guys locally, as well. I continue using the website to keep track of my sobriety.

Thanks, GYE!

ChaimYakov says:

"I did ask this question in person no less than 4 times to 4 different Rabbanim.
The answers I got in order were:
1) You need to get married
2) You need to get rid of the Iternet
3) You need to talk to your Rav about this
4) You probably won't be able to stop
Anybody who wants to know why none of the answers above work, let me know and I will gladly elaborate.

Dov in response...

The answers I got in person were: 1- you really need to learn Tanya (guess who told me that); (~1988) 2- it's not really that bad, others guys do this, too (~1986) 3- you need to explain to your wife to have more and more varied sex with you (from an older chassidish rov); (~1990) 4- you probably need to get to a shrink fast or to a group of men in therapy (~1991) 5- you are seriously ill and need professional help right now (~1995) Of course, as things got worse as the years went on and I got more desperate for the help - but always hiding behind 'religious' or 'marriage' concerns - I was progressively open about what I really do when I act out. Also, my problem started off as sex with myself (masturbation) and porn in late 80s and early 90's and quickly progressed to much worse stuff after i got married. Much worse. Marriage proved to me that sex with my wife could not possibly solve my problem and I became frantic. More sexual obsession and acting out...with honest, temimusdikeh desperation. Boruch Hashem for the last two men, especially for the last one. Not that I followed his advice of course!...but about two years later I was ready, and got help by really spilling all the beans in detail to a good shrink (who was a recovering alkie herself), and she gave me a card with an SA contact guy. He became my sponsor and has been it ever since, b"H. That saved my life and continues to be the reason I am still alive today and have a great (but not perfect marriage, family, and avodas Hashem (life). My wife has told me that the day I got sober was by far a better day in her lifetime than the day we got married. And she does not mean it as an insult. (If she did, it would be pretty funny, but she didn't....)

First, I want to thank you for this wonderful site. I have no words for you how this site saved my life. B'chasdei hashem, I am sober since I started the 90 days, which is almost a year and a half ago. This is a great miracle, and I am very grateful to Hashem for this site and to Dov and to a few guys on GYE that were very helpful in the beginning of my journey.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.