Don't Work, Live!
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1498  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Announcements: GYE Crowdfunding Campaign Launched
Personal Stories: That Very Day
Daily Dose of Dov: I Don't "Work On Myself"
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Still Clean Had a fall
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Image of the Day
 
Announcements
 
GYE Crowdfunding Campaign Launched
 

A cool 2.5 minute video clip that gets straight to the heart of what we do! For those who (hopefully) can't access youtube, you can view it here.

Dear friends,

In order to help every person in the Jewish world struggling with the pull to inappropriate materials, GuardYourEyes continuously labors to develop cutting-edge innovative solutions that really work, in order to save individuals and families and to fight for the kedusha of the Jewish people.

We recently launched a new project for teens struggling with inappropriate materials. We gave presentations to offer solutions in over 100 schools in Israel and are preparing to expand the teens project to schools and sems in the U.S and throughout the world (including presentations for parents and educators).

We're also launching new apps - the 'GYE Help App' and the 'GYE Connection App', and due to great demand, we're creating new websites in English and Hebrew specially to offer help to spouses that discovered their husbands' are falling-in.

To maintain and expand our efforts we are in dire and urgent need of funding.

With your help, we can change the world!

Please visit our crowdfunding page and PASS THE LINK on to all your contacts on e-mail, Whatsapp, Twitter (and FB if you have, eh-hem).

Here's the link to pass on to your friends: thechesedfund.com/campaign/79 or thechesedfund.com/cause/help-guard-your-eyes-to-help-thousands-of-others

Youtube link to pass on: www.youtube.com/embed/Grkha330Peg?rel=0

Every Jew helped through you is an eternal zechus!

Personal Stories
 
That Very Day
 
By Bairach Bakol

I've been acting out and looking at inappropriate images since the age of 12-13. With a computer in my room, the internet and its poison filled my heart and mind at a very young age. I was a top Bachur, and I was sure marriage would solve the problem, but it didn't. I had ups and downs over many years... When I was down, I felt like a zombie, detached from my other 'very religious self', a hypocrite, etc...

Read more
Daily Dose of Dov
 
I Don't "Work On Myself"
 
By Dov

Whatever I have in terms of a relationship with Hashem is "home-grown", meaning: born naturally out of living sober, rather than anything I specifically or consciously "worked on". And my tools are using the steps in a chevra of others using them, to bumble through Life with G-d's help. His credentials are quite good so I ask Him for help frequently through the day, remember that I can't hide anything from Him, and accept that He has nothing more important to do than to help me - or He wouldn't have made me at all! He certainly wasn't forced to make me!

In fact, "working on myself" is not really in my lexicon any more. Good living brings these things out and seems to cause automatic growth in every single department of my life and in every relationship. Bad living (that is, strictly for myself and in myself) makes me so miserable that I get the heck out of it whenever I start living poorly! Self-focused living is like a vacuum cleaner - it sucks.

It seems to me that ego deflation is a big part of it... maybe the biggest part. In other words, the old way of "working on myself" - and always looking back to see if tzidkus, tahara, middos tovos... were catching up on me yet, simply doesn't work for me at all. In fact, it's poisonous for me. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that consciously working on one's self in a measured fashion is a valid derech of yiddishkeit and was probably used successfully in one style or another by bazzillions of our forebears for hundreds of years in Europe and elsewhere. It's not the flavor I get from medrashim and s'forim about earlier generations though, but what do I know?

Well, what I do know is, that as an addict, it screws me up when I try to use that derech. It puts me at the center, not Hashem. It quite possibly helped to create this addict in the first place.

Though the 12-step program seems like a self-centered way to work on yourself, it's not. It's a way to allow G-d to work on me. It gets me out of His way, that's all. Those folks who work the steps like another "self-help program" are no surprise to me. They are doing self-help - but the Program is G-d-help! It's about starting to do His Will for His sake rather than for s'char/not getting punished/being happy/whatever, and it's about being useful to people. And while my motivation may be my own survival, I don't consider the basic survival instinct selfish... sorry.

I am, of course, 'all for' the yeshiva experience, mussar, and us Jewish people working on ourselves. But I feel that for an addict that may need to be tweaked quite a bit by slowly but surely shifting the entire motivation to G-d and for helping other people. Anything but my personal desires of kin'ah, ta'ava, or kavod, basically. And no, there may be no way to know which kids are getting screwed up by the self-centeredness of the whole thing, vs. who's thriving. Perhaps the really smart people need to get together and talk this one over. It's way over my head. [But I would put a stop to those silly mirrors for "checking tefilin" (take a peek and watch if the bochur checks his face out too!) and to the GQ-ish business of dressing nuveau-yeshivish. Maybe I'm just a judgmental old fool (I am!), but to me, those shinanigans may easily replace our bochur's fledgling concern for pnimius with the quite natural (stupid) teenage motivation for chitzonius. Yakity yak-yak...]

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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Checks can be made out to: "GYE Corp." and mailed to: GYE Corp. P.O. Box 32380 Pikesville, MD 21282 U.S.A.
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