Self-will and self-torture
  Breaking free chizuk #1459  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: Ah, the battle of the "last time"!
Links: Video #2 - The SIT Diet
Daily Dose of Dov: The problem is not religious, but the solution is spiritual
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Editor’s Note

I am prepared to perform the mitzvah of cleaning for Pesach; internally and externally, to clean away my fears, anger, sadness, worry, transgressions and faults. May it be Your will that all of my work should find favor in Your eyes and give nachat ruach to Hashem Yitborach.

Please Hashem, help me serve You in happiness, to burn away any distractions coming from the yetzer hara such as unhealthy desires, tension, anger, frustration and sadness that disconnect me from You. I pray and hope that through my cleaning here below of my home and possessions I shall prepare myself emotionally and spiritually for the upcoming Chag Pesach.

I therefore ask that I go about my Pesach preparations with emuna shleimah and trust that whatever I am able to do is exactly what You want me to complete– no more and no less. May I accept it all with love and inner calmness. I wish to clean my outer surroundings as well as my inner core of all chometz; from arrogance, anger and false sense of control. May I rectify all of the negativity that surfaces throughout my preparations and arrive to a place of wholeness.

May I live by the passuk, “Shiviti Hashem l’negdi tamid (Seeing Hashem in front of me always)” and know that everything that I see is from YOU and none other. I want to fulfill only Your will Hashem and react out of emuna shleimah and simcha only. I pray to identify with my inner core of greatness, my G-dly spark, that is where my infinite power lies, my point of connection to You. I can overcome all negative inclinations by remembering that Your love for me is eternal and You desire only my ultimate best.

Help me identify with my infinite value no matter how much I am able to do and complete. Help me recognize that true value comes from attaching myself toYou through every circumstance and challenge. I want to always attach myself to happiness, patience, unconditional love, a positive mindset and thinking, and emuna shleimah.

The purpose of these days of preparation - and of the entire Chag Pesach - is to free myself from the bondage of the yetzer hara so that I may be free to serve You on a soul level. An Eved Hashem is free from bodily restraints, impulses and negative middot. That is who I truly am and who I wish to uncover through my Pesach cleaning and preparations. 

Image of the Day
Ah, the battle of the "last time"!
Ah, the battle of the

These 19 short videos clips are excerpts from a series on by Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier called "The Fight - A Frank Strategy and Pan for Conquering Desire".

Gathering from the wisdom of chazal, this series presents a solid understanding of the mechanics of desire, and offers us a strategy and plan to winning The Fight of our Generation.

Video #2 - The SIT Diet

" When my wife had our first child, she went on the SIT Diet. Not everyone knows what this diet is, but basically it's quite simple. You take a large wedge of chocolate cake in this hand, you take a diet coke in the other hand, you say the words I'm so fat, I'm so fat, I'm so fat, you consume the entire wedge of chocolate cake, drink the diet coke, and that is the SIT Diet — Self-Inflicted Torture Diet.

Now, my wife is one of the sharpest people I know, and when she was doing this day after day at a certain point I said to her listen, this is not going anywhere. If you choose to be heavy I'm okay with that, if you choose to be thin I'm okay with that, but this self-inflicted torture doesn't go. Anyways, as they say, my words fell on deaf ears..."

Click the link above for the full story and video.

Email us if you don't have internet access, and we will send you the story by email. (sorry, we can't send the video.)

Daily Dose of Dov
The problem is not religious, but the solution is spiritual
By GYE Corp.

Someone wrote on the forum:

The issue is regaining control of your life. Religion/faith/the god question has nothing to do with recovery.


Dov responds:

My personal experience 'begs to differ' with you on this. And mind you, I'd be the last guy to refer to my addiction as a problem of faith, religion, or morals. I also do not associate the Yetzer Hara per se' with my addiction, in the strict sense. I see my addiction as an insanity and a disease, and I do not believe that the rule books (of religious dogma) were written with crazy people in mind. I feel that an addict has generally strayed far out of the normal human realm of bechirah and normalcy. Mind you, acting out any addiction certainly causes deep religious and moral problems, but I consider them all symptoms rather than causes. Nu. Any other approach to it just does not work for me, sorry.

Let those who feel very differently about this issue lay down their arms please, as I'm not here to fight about it and let's not get off-topic. But I believe that you know precisely where I am coming from on this, as do many others. Harbei drachim laMokom. Perhaps you even intended basically the same perspective in your comment above.

So, exactly how am I begging to differ with you?

I have found that for me and many others, although our Problem is not a religious one, the Solution is a spiritual one.

And as Religions are very spiritual, as a Jew - I am really in luck!

Making brachos and remembering that nothing is mine; keeping hilchos niddah and remembering that my wife isn't mine; wearing tefilin and remembering that my body is modeled after Hashem's middos/ways (so to speak); doing chessed and remembering that I am not the center of the universe; keeping Shabbos and seeing a connection to my shoresh; watching my children and remembering that I am actually able to tap into power beyond my own and help create a child! - and also: to stay sober... these things are only shayach to me in recovery.

Before some recovery, these things never meant any of those things at all to me.
They were all just a big pain in the rear, actually.

And the spirituality is not only the symptom of recovery, but also the answer itself, as it comes from accepting a G-d of my very own and trusting Him, for a change.

Did that make any sense?

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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