After 3 1/2 years in 'the struggle', here are a few thoughts:

1. There are no chidushim - as the mesilas yesharim writes, we already know most of the things we need to know, it's a matter of reviewing them and putting them into practice.

2. Be patient with yourself - these things take time. But at the same time, don't fool yourself - you know if you're progressing or not.

3. In the beginning stages of recovery THERE ARE NO REASONS THAT WORK, abstain for the simple reason that you trust those who TOLD you to abstain, that it is good for you no matter how it feels, and that you will be fine by not giving in. Just TRUST.

4. 90 days is a very good way to start - it'll teach you things you'll need later on. Stay on the roller coaster and fasten your seat belts - it's a rough ride.

5. The only way that you will actually know and realize that something is disgusting, is by staying away from it. No intelligence in the entire world can convince you it's disgusting unless you stay away from it. Similarly, if you stay away from learning Torah and doing mitzvos, THEY will become disgusting in your eyes (R''L).

6. Throw out all Hollywood movies in the house - they are poison to us who struggle.

7. These things may take years to accomplish - have patience withyourself. As long as you are moving in a forward direction, you're ok. Itdoesn't matter if it's taking a long time. Of course, if you can, faster is better.

8. Learn to live with discomfort, it won't REALLY kill you, even though it will FEEL like it's killing you. A real human being always has a little discomfort - in staying away from what comes natural to him, but is really bad for him.

Hatzlacha to us!

After I first got sober, I had nothing to do all night long (when I'd have been out messing my life up acting out, of course) and just couldn't get adjusted to actually sleeping at night.

We had a little TV "just for the olympics" at first, that my sister bought us. To make a long story short, I watched it for hours each night and switched addictions, basically.... but at least I was sober!

Slowly it drove me crazy. I knew that it was a matter of time before I lost my sobriety over it....

One day, my wife calls me at work to tell me that the TV had caught fire just sitting there plugged in, and melted upon itself. It was dead.

We have not had a TV since...

Shomer p'so'im Hashem, no?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.