Surefire Recovery Plan
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1401  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day: To be helpful is our only aim (Big Book of AA, p.89)
Torah: Be Wealthy!
Daily Dose of Dov: Eventually, It All Catches Fire
12 Step Attitude: What is your plan?
Links: Dealing with Adversity
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
To be helpful is our only aim (Big Book of AA, p.89)
 
To be helpful is our only aim (Big Book of AA, p.89)
Torah
 
Be Wealthy!
 
By obormottel

Rabbi Yaakov Dov of Rodoshitz used to bless people with wealth.

He would reason, "as long as people are poor, they think that money would solve all their problems.

Once they have money, they at least stand a chance of realizing that what they are really lacking in life is spirituality, and strive for it.''

Daily Dose of Dov
 
Eventually, It All Catches Fire
 
By Dov

One of the beauties of the 12-Step program is this: Many people (especially men) tend to think in terms of solving problems. So while we are writing our 1st and 4th steps, or whenever we think or write about our problems or what is messed up in us, we want to see it all in the context of a way out, or solution. This is horrible for me. Take the 4th step, for example: We write out all the wackiness in us, quite a list... then tell it over to another person... then become ready to get rid of all the wackiness... then we ask Hashem to fix us up.

What's going on here?

As soon as I become aware of the ugliness in me, I should be disgusted by it, ashamed, and try to solve it - to get rid of it. Particularly if it is an aveiro! To hold on to it may mean that I really don't mind it, and that'd be bad, no?

But that is not the way this program works, it seems. There are separate steps, which must remain separate: First I admit my mishegaas - ad mokon sh'yadi maga'as. I must sit with the truth for a while. Running from it immediately - call it t'shuvah, I don't care - it is still running from it! I need to 'try the truth on like a shirt' for it to be part of me - walk around for a while getting used to the facts about me. After all, it has been the truth about me for years, decades, forever maybe... it's time I faced it instead of fooling myself, as I always have, that if only I run fast enough from my self-centered greed, fear, pride, and it will not catch up with me. That is not what Chazal mean when they say k'boreyach min ha'Eish! Their point is not just 'running' - but running in the right direction. If my entire house is on fire I cannot just run into another room... I need to leave the house. When we learn more or daven harder, make more money, try to have better or more satisfying sex (yup! that was innocent, too), do more chessed, or more kiruv rechokim - instead of getting free of our lusting - we were just running into a different room! We were convincing ourselves that we are not so bad after all. Till the fire spread into that room, too. That was enabling, not healing. Eventually, our jobs, families, religion, they all caught fire, too. Eventually nothing is left - fire is nasty and doesn't care. And that's how some folks finally come to recovery.

The 1st step is our way of saying "enough running and playing games. There is no way out, so I need a power greater than myself to do some kind of trick get me out of this impossible bind I got myself into. And I need Him to do it for free, cuz I ain't got nuthin' to pay. (Well, we do really have 'something'... and that is where the 2nd and third steps come in... but that's cheating, so shashhhhh!)

Choser chasirah mitachas l'Kisei K'vodo. Sounds kind of tricky, no? He can do those kind of things... He's the Owner and no one can ask Him, "mah ta'aseh - who gives You the right to do that!?"

The most precious words I ever 'heard' at the meetings were a silent, "It's gonna be OK." The drunks tell us that it only depends on our honesty, openness, and acceptance.

12 Step Attitude
 
What is your plan?
 
I received this letter from someone who is in the recovery field and I like his letter...
 
By obormottel

 

Hi..

It is important to me that you survive addiction and thrive in recovery. 

Why? I am a lover of people. I hate when people suffer. 

I particularly hate it when people suffer unnecessarily.  

I know it is possible to overcome addiction.  

I have been there in the darkness and found a way to the light.  

I am 23 years into recovery now and things are making more and more sense. 

I share this with anyone who can hear it.  

There are specific ways, skillful means, to get out of addiction’s formidable grasp.  

It is not a mystery how or why people become addicted to things.  We understand how addiction develops in the brain, how it messes with our nervous and endocrine systems and how it turns our thinking against us. 

Thankfully, we also understand how to get out of its grasp. So, for those of you who are suffering in it or have a loved one who is, please take note and then take action...

 

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A short talk by Rabbi Twerski.

Dealing with Adversity
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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