Be real this Chanukah!
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1383  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Editor’s Note: Mi L'Hashem Alai!
Testimonials: We can learn from this tragedy
Links: Can Hashem really solve my problems?
Q & A: To Mas******* or to Masturbate? That is the question.
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Editor’s Note
 
Mi L'Hashem Alai!

Chanukah is all about Messiras Nefesh, about giving the fight over to Hashem.

The Sefarim say that every year, the same great light that came down in the time of the Chashmonaim comes down again on Chanukah. In the zechus of their messiras nefesh back then, every Jew can be zoche to this madrega on Chanukah. 

This fight is BIGGER THAN US. We can't win without a miracle. Often it feels like we'll die if we don't give in, if we don't take that second look... But if we are ready to be moser nefesh and turn away, if we surrender the desire and give over the fight to Hashem, He will give over the strong into the hands of the weak.

We are up against the whole world. But this is not our fight, it is Hashem's. Let us throw ourselves into His hands and be ready to do whatever it takes, and then He will fight for us! 

GuardYourEyes is calling out to every Jew: Mi L'Hashem Alai!

 

Testimonials
 
We can learn from this tragedy
 
GYE received an anonymous modest donation with the following note:
 
By Anonymous

"It is shocking to say, but we have a son who died, and one of the partial causes was the obsessive viewing of porn.

May GYE have unbelievable big success & blessing from Hashem."

Links
 

A great shiur from DC's guest speakers:

Rabbi Shais Taub, Chanukah 2013

 

Can Hashem really solve my problems?
Q & A
 
To Mas******* or to Masturbate? That is the question.
 
Calling a Spade a Spade
 
By GYE

Every so often, our members revisit the issue of using explicit terms vs. euphemisms in our materials and on the forum (e.g. s*x vs. sex, p*** vs. porn or 'inappropriate materials', etc.). On the one hand, Torah speaks strongly in favor of lashon nekiya, and some members find explicit terms triggering and/or threatening. On the other hand, while indulging in pornography, we were not so shy, and pretensions that hid behind the asterisks only served to perpetuates our lies.

Our thought on GYE has undergone some growth over the years, and we slowly moved from the former to the latter. Here is what we think on this issue now:

When things are unspoken, they become unspeakable. The reason we find the words like masturbation or pornography titillating, is precisely because we've allowed these things to be our secret passion for so long. The more honest (read: explicit) we can be and the less we hide behind the euphemisms and "p***", the better chance we have at sustained recovery. When we call things by their real name, it helps to desensitize ourselves to them and they lose the power they hold over us. It may be scary and uncomfortable at first, but this is a necessary price to pay for our recovery.

Remember: we're only as sick as our secrets. As long as we are squeamish about calling our disease and our actions by their real name, we're still in denial about the true nature of our condition.

This is not to say that we should use explicit and triggering language. There is a difference between saying "I masturbate to pornography" and describing in detail what and how we do it. We are all familiar with the process. So sexually explicit language or unnecessary details used merely for the purpose of sexual excitement are still not allowed on GYE. Think of it in terms of a doctor's office: medical terms are OK; sexually-explicit or abusive/foul language - not OK.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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Checks can be made out to: "GYE Corp." and mailed to: GYE Corp. P.O. Box 32380 Pikesville, MD 21282 U.S.A.
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