Playing the Blame Game
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1380  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Q & A: I Was Molested; What Now?
Torah: Chanukah Story
Daily Dose of Dov: Desire and Power of the Lust
Q & A: Niddah is so Hard
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Q & A
 
I Was Molested; What Now?
 
I was molested by my brother, he's moved on and I'm addicted.
 
By GYE

The short answer is, it is indeed likely that the abuse you underwent is connected to your current addiction. See this article for more WHY.

But here is a longer thought for victims of molestation, both male and femlae:

Nobody deserves to be abused, especially by people who are supposed to love and protect us. Incest is both a grave sin and an immoral act, as well as a crime. My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find healing.

Additionally, If the perpetrator is still around children (either his own or someone else's), the right thing to do is to report his crimes to the authrities to protect the innocents. Crimes of this nature, if left unchecked, tend to be repeated. And even if the person seems to have "moved on" or presents no current threat to other children, it may still be healing for his victim(s) to press charges and seek justice. On GYE, we do not render legal, medical, or mental health advice, but we do encourage you to seek competent counsel in these areas.

However, everything that happens to us in life is part of the journey that our soul was meant to undergo in this world. If a person gets cancer, c"v, when they are older - and it turns out that it was caused by pollution in the town that they lived in when they were younger, it is still part of their destiny. Blaming it on someone or something does nothing to change the facts, and we need to come to terms with the journey that Hashem has given us. So the question now is, what will YOU do about it? Although you may be powerless over the disease, that does not absolve you of responsibility to recover. (Just like a diabetic is responsible to take their insulin).

And with this, thankfully, GYE can help!

Torah
 
Chanukah Story
 
By Me3

We all know the story. . . or do we?

Read more
Daily Dose of Dov
 
Desire and Power of the Lust
 
By Dov

The desire and power of the lust experience is huge. It's definitely bigger than my power, I believe. Still, in my heart it rings painfully true that whatever it is that I really want deep down, the acting out - and whatever desires and "lust hopes" I am holding on to, just don't come near to satisfying it. Knowing that is powerful and changes me.

But still, that alone won't stop me from acting out. I still need a G-d, a program, and a chevra.

Q & A
 
Niddah is so Hard
 
Niddah is the hardest for me, what can I do?
 
By GYE

The Niddah period was given to us by Hashem as a big gift to help us GROW UP. It’s a gift, a way to strengthen the married couple to build a non-sexual bond in addition to a sexual one.

By forcing us to be married WITHOUT sex, we learn that marriage is about giving, sharing and emotional connection, not about sex.

Intimacy is just the icing on the cake that enhances the marriage and the Niddah period is what bring this to the forefront of our awareness.

We need to appreciate the time we are separate and work on learning what marriage is really about.


Without this break forced upon us by Hashem, how many of us would never grow up?

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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