At this opportunity I want to wish you Mazal Tov on your daughter’s recent marriage and to apologize for not having attended due to pressing public issues which had to be attended to. May [both couples] be zoche to build a bayis neeman beyisrael מתוך אהבה ואחוה שלו' וריעות. I do not have ruach hakodesh to be able to say this with certainty, but I venture to say that you were zoche to such yeshuos with your children in the zechus of your devotion to helping others living lives of Kedusha.

וישא את עיניו וירא את הנשים - לג:ה

The best way to be careful from forbidden gazing and thoughts is by occupying the mind with divrei Torah. Rav Wolbe writes in Alei Shur that when one thinks in learning, it is a koach that can protect him from seeing pritzus.

In Chayei Sarah, regarding Yitzchak, it says (24:63) “va’yeitzei Yitzchak… vayisa einav vayar v’hinei hagemalim ba’im”. He saw the camels. Regarding Eisav, though, it says in this week’s parsha, (33:5) “vayisah es einav vayar es hanashim v’es hayeladim.” The first thing Eisav saw is the women.

We see from here that to a great extent what one sees goes according to what his mind is occupied with.

Therefore, whenever one is about to go out onto the street, one should prepare divrei Torah to think about. (Often, a concept or kashya to ponder – something about which you can think in depth – can be preferable to chazara from which it can be easier to become distracted).

(From the notes of Reb Matis Feld)

Confiding and sharing your struggles is very important, but the people you share with should be “safe”. Experience shows that the people who can help you the most are those who have been there themselves. On GuardYourEyes you can connect to a whole community of brave strugglers who are working on themselves and making progress in this area.

There are three things to consider:

1) First of all, from a spiritual perspective, no Jewish person wants to live in the mud. Your soul is crying inside you, begging you to remember why you came down to this world for this short life-time that will affect your ETERNITY.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.