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  Breaking Free Chizuk #1371  
In Today's Issue
Editor’s Note
Announcements: GYE App is available!
Member's Chizuk: Response to a Wife's Letter
Image of the Day: Support GYE in the coming weeks!
Announcements: Rabbi Harris on Duvid Chaim's call
Personal Stories: I'm a Believer
Q & A: Should a frum woman join SA? Member's opinion.
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Editor’s Note

Dear readers,

this newsletter is filled to the brim with important and helpful stuff. It is my hope you'll make good use of it.

Firstly, please pay attention to all the announcements: Rabbi Harris's over-the-phone lecture is in a few hours (5pm EST); you can help support GYE with your holiday shopping on Amazon; and GYE app is ready for download to enable all to read full articles in our newsletters without going on the internet.

Secondly, yesterday's "Letter to my ex-husband" resonated with many of our readers, and today we published one member's reaction.

Finally, last week we discussed whether or not a frum woman sex addict should join live SA meetings. We made a strong case that this would not be advisable. This discussion elicited strong reactions from our readership, as well. We immediately received a letter from our female member (published below), who commented on the timeliness of this advice.

At the same time, Yoel wrote to us: "I'm attracted to both sexes, what would be the solution for a person like me attending meetings? With animals only?
Before I came into the rooms [of SA], a young attractive woman was attending the meeting, and the experience that the members shared was as follows:
At first it was cunning and baffling; however, when she opened her mouth and shared her pain, the whole temptation was blown away."

We also received other feedback from our members and admins, and so the original article appears quite different, as well. Check it out!

To join in the discussion, email me.

Best wishes for continued recovery,



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Member's Chizuk
Response to a Wife's Letter
In Chizuk Email #1370, we published a letter to a husband, who preferred porn to his wife. Our readers reacted.
By laasos ulkayem

The article you brought from The Guardian was powerful. I tried to identify for myself what it was about this particular article that spoke to me.

I think it's the sense of futility that comes through from the eyes of an outsider. The addict himself is blind to the realities of the trade-off he made, so seeing the truth is like the shock of ice cold water. You feel deep inside the deep sense of chaval, what a waste of a life, of a family lost in exchange for nothing.

The ugly truth that most people don't want to hear is, that even if we don't c"v lose our marriages, a lust addiction can have the same effect of taking a beautiful pure relationship and throwing it away for the sake of a cheap tawdry succession of diminishing thrills. This effect is not limited to the spousal relationship; it eats away at your ability to be a good father, friend, son, brother and eved Hashem. You get so wrapped up in yourself and have no room left for anyone else.

I think it's the clarity that is only possible when viewed by an outsider that makes it even more primal; even more so than reading the first hand accounts of CEO's landing in jail, losing their wives and children etc.

Thank you for the article, and thank you for helping me stay clean.

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Support GYE in the coming weeks!
Support GYE in the coming weeks!
Rabbi Harris on Duvid Chaim's call
Personal Stories
I'm a Believer
By 1daat

I remember once, when I was a child, I had a very close relationship with Hashem. Then, over the years, I only checked-in once in a while. By my twenties, I knew He was here, but I wasn't about to be another "true believer." I needed proof. So I told Him, "I'm not going to believe in ANYthing. If You're for real, show me." Looking back I can see so many ways He showed me, and I missed them all.

Read more
Q & A
Should a frum woman join SA? Member's opinion.
By Anonymous

This is a response to an article published in newsletter #1368 "Can a frum woman join SA?"

After publishing the article, we have received a lot of feedback from members, and we published the entire conversation.

Below is an email we received after sending out the newsletter, but before other views on the issue came into the picture.

Please beware, that each member's situation is unique and requires indivualized approach.

Dear GYE,

I am a frum married woman who has joined GYE a few weeks ago. I've been struggling to find a sponsor and direction as well as a 12 step group that would be the right fit for me. I have never wanted to go to a mixed SA meeting, but just yesterday, I have spoken to another jewish woman from the SAA fellowship, and she has convinced me to join her in a mixed meeting in NYC. After reading your article today pointing out all the problems with a frum woman in a mixed meeting, I now know I need to continue my search for a different and more proper place.
Hopefully with Hashems help I will find the right sponsor and group to get me out of my mess.
Thank you for your emails and chizuk!

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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