But how does this program work?
  Breaking Free chizuk #1332  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day
Announcements: Rabbi Feigenbaum on Duvid Chaim's Call
Editor’s Note
Announcements: Share the Zechus of Shmiras Habris of Thousands
Testimonials: But How Does this Program Work?
Q & A: Live Meetings and Daas Torah
Links: Step Nine
90 Day Journey
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Still Clean Had a fall
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Image of the Day
Rabbi Feigenbaum on Duvid Chaim's Call


A Very Special Aseres Yemei HaTeshuva Presentation:


By Rabbi Feigenbaum

Inspiring the Chevrah for the past four years!

Join us this coming Monday September 21st on Duvid Chaim's "Noon" (EDT) Call

Dial (209) 255-1000

Access Code 637207#


Editor’s Note

As we're nearing the great day of Yom Kippur, we're looking for forgiveness from our Maker as well as from those, whom we wronged or harmed in the past.

Step 9 of the 12 steps talks about just that: "Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Below, you will find a link to an audio shiur by Rabbi Yisroel Pinson on step 9 and its connection to Torah.

We also bring you testimonials of those we've helped and give you an opportunity to offer your support to GYE by participating in our annual support campaign.

Finally, we're continuing the discussion of Yiddishkeit and recovery, and whether they mutually exclude or compliment each other.

G'mar Chasima Tovah, GYE!



By participating in our self-support campaign, you enable us to offer help to thousands of men and women.

One of those many sent us a "Thank You" note:

"Have I said "thank you" yet this year? Well, I'd better hurry up then, so here it goes:

THANK YOU! for getting me to finally stop running like a horse into battle (language of the mesilas yesharim); and for slowing me down, like the Ramchal says, to think about what I was doing. While active in the addiction, one can't think, one doesn't think.

It's only because of the 90 day challenge that we finally have a chance to realize things that we never realized before.

So, let the year with its curses end, and a new year of bracha begin! 

B'ahava and a ksiva ve'chsima tova"



Share the Zechus of Shmiras Habris of Thousands

Once a year, in the time of the Yomim Noraim, we turn to our members with a special appeal to help cover the costs of our operation. Even though everything we offer is free of charge, it is YOUR SUPPORT that allows us to continue our holy work!

Please see our campaign flyer for more info.

You don't need to put into the donation page your real name, nor your real e-mail address. Also, the charge shows up just as GYE Corp. which looks pretty generic.

Contribute Today to Share the Zechus

Wishing you a G'mar Chasima Tova and a year of holiness and blessing!
The Guard Your Eyes Team

But How Does this Program Work?
By Martin B.


I just had an epic realization as I was preparing myself for this last Shabbos of the year.

As I stood in front of HKB"H last year on the Yom Ha'Din, I have no recollection of actually asking for the gift of sobriety this year. In fact, on the contrary - I kind of remember feeling hopelessly and helplessly doomed to die as an addict, only to face the revelation of my secrets to all at the end of my days. As painful and depressing as this thought was, it was never enough to get me into recovery, and I was tired of repeated failures to stop on my own without the 12 step program.

Now pause for a moment and think about what I just wrote. I wasn't even asking for recovery last year at this time. I was convinced that I had no way out.

As I prepared for this last Shabbos of the year, I felt full of life and full of emotions. I could feel this way in spite of the immense personal struggles I have been going through this week. It doesn't make any sense to me that this can even be possible.

My friends, the essence of my message is this - Yeshuas Hashem K'Heref Ayin. Hashem can bring about salvation in the blink of an eye. It makes no sense that such a thing can be possible, but at whatever time HKB"H decides to give us the gifts of "serenity to accept the things we cannot change and the courage to change the things we can", from that instant it can be a Techiyas Maysim for those of us have been the walking dead in our addiction.

If it can happen to me then it can happen to anyone, and if you ask me "how?" then you already know the answer!

The answer is H - O - W

  • Honesty
  • Openness
  • Willingness

May we all be zocheh to the Yeshuas Hashem this year!

Q & A
Live Meetings and Daas Torah
Do I need to ask a shailah before joining a live meeting?

Regarding the recent discussion on the forum about the dangers of live 12-Step meetings adversely affecting people's yiddishkeit, and about the chilul Hashem of joining meetings in a Church (in a side room), and the suggestion that every person needs to ask Daas Torah first before joining a live meeting, this is our response:

1. It is true that live 12-Step meetings are not for everyone, but someone who has tried many things and has not succeeded until now, should be encouraged to join a live 12-Step group. If you tell him that he needs to ask a shailah, then he will likely just not go. He will be afraid to ask a Rav because it's too uncomfortable. So he will spend the rest of his life doing grubeh aveiros because he is such a tzadik that he doesn't want to go to meetings without daas Torah, and he is afraid to ask.

2. Did these people ask Daas Torah if they are allowed to look at shmutz and be mz"l? So why are we suddenly so worried that each person must ask a shailah for his individual case when it comes to recovery?

3. The rare cases when people in the live meetings become shvach in their yiddishkeit, is because their yiddishkeit lechatchila was completely empty. Now that they are working on emes, they see that it was empty so they drop it. Rabbi Twerski once said that this is not such a big tragedy because it's a siman that their yiddishkeit was completely empty anyway. (I am not sure I agree with it not being a tragedy, but) in any case, we don't have to be choshesh for such a miyut when it can save so many other people from the machlah of addiction - and has ALSO been known to strengthen people's yiddishkeit in many cases. (Not to mention that we are talking about a person who is anyway doing big aveiros, so who is to say his yeridah in yiddishkeit is worse than his stopping to do these aveiros?)

4. Lastly, it is better to avoid these discussions on the forum that could discourage people from trying something that could help them. Our mehalech on GYE is that everyone should share what works for them, but never put down a derech that has worked for others.


Audio shiur on Step 9 of the 12 steps: "Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."


By Rabbi Yisroel Pinson


Step Nine

Rabbi Yisrael Pinson is the Director of the Daniel B. Sobel Friendship House in West Bloomfield, MI. Since joining the Friendship House he has helped create a local Jewish Recovery Community where recovering addicts are helped through support, guidance, friendship and community.

More from Yisrael Pinson

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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