We Need to Talk
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1298  
In Today's Issue
Editor’s Note: You are your own best teacher
Image of the Day
Link of the Day: Dear teen, we need to talk.
Chizuk: Do Thoughts Really Count?
Announcements: GYE is Coming to Belgium
Announcements: Copyright Disclaimer
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Editor’s Note
You are your own best teacher

As one goes through life, one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.
--Katharine Hepburn


I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don't always follow your advice.


Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.

A sponsor's suggestions aren't commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they're based on my experience, I'm not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person's timetable is. I'm not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.

Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.

Today, I learn from my experience.

Image of the Day

Below is a page from a book called "Facing the Shadows" by Partick Carnes on sexual addiction. It charts some of the vital changes in thinking/life-style that an addict needs to undergo in recovery. 

Link of the Day

A short video for teenagers about pornography.

Dear teen, we need to talk.
Do Thoughts Really Count?
What exactly is the Torah's point of view on thoughts?
By Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha, LCSW-R

Therapists have been known to comfort clients who experience anxiety-provoking and obsessive thoughts, by telling them, “There is no need to feel fear or shame about the thoughts that run through your head. Thoughts do not really mean anything and don’t hurt anyone.” While this is an important step in reducing anxiety and breaking a pattern of excessive pre-occupation and over-valuation of thoughts, a religious person may have difficulty accepting this, as it seems that the Torah has many prohibitions regarding sinful thoughts. It is useless and disrespectful to offer false psychological comfort to a religious person whose tradition tells him he should be believe otherwise. In this article, we will look at some of these sources and compare them to psychological ideas about the role of thoughts in human and social functioning, to see how a religious person can develop a healthy approach to thoughts that are considered forbidden.

Read more
GYE is Coming to Belgium

We are planning to visit Belgium, be”H, after Sukkos to give a talk about GYE to the Rabbanim, therapists, and Mechanchim in the community.

We are looking for some testimonials from members in Belgium about how GYE has helped them, to share in our presentation. Of course, anonymity will be fully maintained.

Please write to us if you can share your story or, if you know any members from there that have been helped, please pass this message on to them.

Tizku Lemitzvos.

Copyright Disclaimer

This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of the science behind addiction. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit for research and educational purposes.

If you are the owner of an article on our website and feel that we should not be posting it, feel free to write to the webmaster at office@guardyoureyes.org and we will remove it.

If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

Any information you gather here or in the related forum is not professional advice and is provided solely for educational and informational purposes.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and insights, as this is a group effort. Please know that anything you share, even in posts protected from public viewing, may be included in future materials, although extreme care will be taken to insure that no details that would identify you personally will be included.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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