A really cute kitten
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1297  
In Today's Issue
Announcements: GYE is Coming to Belgium
Image of the Day
Announcements: Copyright Disclaimer
Testimonials: I've just been in denial
Daily Dose of Dov: Change Your Shoes
Prevention: Technology Addiction Guru Speaks
90 Day Journey
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Still Clean Had a fall
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GYE is Coming to Belgium

We are planning to visit Belgium, be”H, after Sukkos to give a talk about GYE to the Rabbanim, therapists, and Mechanchim in the community.

We are looking for some testimonials from members in Belgium about how GYE has helped them, to share in our presentation. Of course, anonymity will be fully maintained.

Please write to us if you can share your story or, if you know any members from there that have been helped, please pass this message on to them.

Tizku Lemitzvos.

Image of the Day
Copyright Disclaimer

This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of the science behind addiction. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit for research and educational purposes.

If you are the owner of an article on our website and feel that we should not be posting it, feel free to write to the webmaster at office@guardyoureyes.org and we will remove it.

If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

Any information you gather here or in the related forum is not professional advice and is provided solely for educational and informational purposes.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and insights, as this is a group effort. Please know that anything you share, even in posts protected from public viewing, may be included in future materials, although extreme care will be taken to insure that no details that would identify you personally will be included.

I've just been in denial
By Yesodos

I have recently joined this forum. Writing this brings tears to my eyes, because I have never been able to ask for help in this area before. This is the start of breaking an 11 year habit, something that makes me both proud and humble, as well as very, very ashamed. I've always been too embarrassed of my addiction to ever get any help face-to-face, and deep down I've lost the belief that I can make a lasting change in this area.

I saw the website for the first time on shiva asar betammuz, and I was amazed that there was so much help available to me to get out of my crushing addiction, as well as kindhearted people who are building this site and building the participants along with it. It has kindled the hope inside me that I can face down this challenge, overcome it, and eventually destroy it.

I guess, if I'm honest, my main motivation to break the habit is the fear of somebody finding out about it, especially my wife. I'm scared that it will cause me to lose my job, reputation, marriage and children. I'm even scared that she is somehow going to read this post, find out that it's me writing, and get the shock of her life that she is married to a porn addict. The fact that I would consider losing everything I hold dear for the sake of some stupid, cheap thrill, amazes me. I am amazed at my own stupidity. I guess this proves that I'm an addict - I never thought of myself that way until now. I've just been in denial.

Every single Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur has been filled with regret for my addiction, and yet still nothing has changed yet. I've improved in many different areas, but I actually feel that in this area I've sunk even lower in recent years. I would love this year to be different. - perhaps you guys can help me ensure that it will be?


A few days later, Yesodos writes:

I want everyone to know that I'm fighting here, and I couldn't do it without you all. It's a funny sort of fight now, because I was craving to act out but whilst I'm posting here I feel myself slowly reentering reality, and the fantasy world of the menuvel slowly melts away. This is a very encouraging development. I also know that after counting day after day to get to 90 days, it would be devastating to be back on zero and break my clean streak.

I love the handbooks. I realize now that I am not running away from the Yetzer, but am running towards the loving embrace of my Father in Heaven, who is looking on with pride as He removes the hold of the Yetzer from upon me.

Chazal say, 'I'm poga bcho menuvel ze mochheihu lebais hamidrash - if the Yetzer Hara meets up with you, drag him to the Beis Medrash'. I wonder whether part of the idea behind that is not just that LEARNING is the key to overpowering the yetzer, but perhaps the idea of dragging the Yetzer Hara into the PUBLIC FORUM of a "Torahdik" atmosphere is what does the trick. I'm sure this observation has occurred to everyone else already, but I guess I'm new here so please excuse me! In which case, I have just successfully dragged the yetzer into the Beis Medrash, and chazal's words have been proven true once again. The Yetzer Hara loses another day!

I LOVE GuardYourEyes!!!

Daily Dose of Dov
Change Your Shoes
By Dov

I have not met too many folks who did not have to live any differently to get a different life. Meaning, if you expect to actually have a different and better life, a life without the garbage of the Lust, P, and M-words, you may not be able to live it while remaining in the same shoes you wore last year (and getting odor-eaters may not be enough). For those guys who keep trying and falling, this may be their missing ingredient. Getting away without this bullet-biting may be a luxury that we just don't "deserve". I didn't, for sure.

Yes, I know the tzadikim teach us that our intentions are powerful, but in my case, I had to actually go to meetings, tell my story publicly (in an anonymous meeting, of course), and live my life (a little) differently - as an addict.

I really have nothing more to add. Wisdom, support and love you've got here aplenty already.

- Dov

Technology Addiction Guru Speaks
By Baltimore Jewish Life

An expert on technology addictions, spoke about technology and parental awareness at a community gathering Sunday night to a crowd of well over fifteen-hundred attendees. Rabbi Yechezkel Zweig, who introduced the main speaker, called the evening an “educational opportunity” that would allow parents to “act in an informed manner.” The expert himself, who strongly asserted that we are facing the biggest nisayon that Klal Yisrael has ever dealt with in its history, felt that it would be a mistake to think that parents can fix or avoid the psychological and religious problems that can be caused by technology. For one thing, technology is advancing too quickly and becoming an unavoidable component of modern life. Also, most parents are what he terms “digital immigrants” who cannot possibly outsmart their “native” children in this matter. However, he also maintained that it is the parents’ responsibility to be as informed as possible about this matter.

Read more
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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