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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

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  • Markz
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Everyone whether struggling or not MUST first don a full face mask before watching this
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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  • Jj123
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Yes!
I actually found that website before gye, and also really enjoyed the pages dedicated to the science behind porn addiction. It's a real eye opener, and the data leads to a new and brutal look on the havoc intimately tied to porn. Statistical studies about divorce rate etc. as well as the basic nueroscience among others.
High quality resource, and thanks for reminding me about it!
The following user(s) said Thank You: TheSicarioWarrior, greenland55
In addition to GYE, I use a variety of resources to help me in my struggle against porn addiction. One of these is a website called "Fight the New Drug." Recently, FTND made an absolutely incredible three-part documentary series called "Brain, Heart, World" focusing on the beauty of life contrasted with the destruction and horrors of pornography on one's self (Brain), one's relationships (Heart), and the world (hopefully you can figure that one out). I recently discovered this just a few days ago, and having finished watching it last night, it is without any exaggeration one of the most incredible and inspiring things I have ever seen. It is an absolutely incredible watch for everyone who is going through the fight against porn or anything related to it. I really don't have words to describe it. It is simply extremely informative, phenomenally well-made, full of hope, and truly inspiring. One can watch it at Brainheartworld.org by simple creating a free account. NOTE: The series contains a number of interviews/shots of women who are dressed in short sleeves, shorts, etc. (Nothing beyond casual goyish dress, but still.) I still found it to be highly beneficial, but everyone should be informed of this and make their own decision. Here’s the link: https://brainheartworld.org/
Hatzlacha to all.
Last Edit: 03 Apr 2020 17:38 by TheSicarioWarrior. Reason: See forum discussion
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  • DavidT
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בזמן שבאו פורעניות לעולם , צריכים להתעורר יותר ויותר לשוב אל בוראנו יתברך, וכמו שאמרו חז"ל, אין פורענות באה לעולם אלא בשביל ישראל ( יבמות סג.) - ליראם כדי שיחזרו בתשובה (רש"י - שם). וכתב בדרשות הר"ן (דרוש ו', ודומה לזה בחיבור התשובה למאירי ז"ל - מאמר א' פרק ב' מדרגה הו'): ולפעמים מתחדשים מקרים בריחוק מקום ובאיים הרחוקים, כדי שיתעוררו ישראל אל התשובה, וייראו ויפחדו פן יגיעם הפורענות, והוא מאמר הנביא (צפניה ג ו'-ז') "הכרתי גוים נשמו פנותם החרבתי חוצותם מבלי עובר, נצדו עריהם מבלי איש מאין יושב, אמרתי אך תיראי אותי תקחי מוסר".

 וכשאינם מתיסרים ברעת האחרים, הפורענות הולך הלוך ונסוע, וילך הלוך וקרב. ואין ספק כי מי שרואה כל אלו התלאות אשר הם באמת התראות ה' יתברך, ועודנו מחזיק בדרכו אשר דרך בה, הוא כמי שעובר עבירה וקיבל עליו התראה, שהתיר עצמו למיתה מכאן ואילך. לכן אין ספק כי בזמנים האלו ראוי לחפש היטב על רפואת הנפש, ולהקדימה על רפואת הגוף. עכ"ד הר"ן ז"ל . ובמסכת ברכות (ה.) אמר רבא ואיתימא רב חסדא, אם רואה אדם שיסורין באין עליו, יפשפש במעשיו (פי' יפשפש מעשיו שעשה כבר, ויבדוק עבירות שבידו, ויתודה וישוב (רש"י - עירובין יג: ד"ה יפשפש)) , שנאמר (איכה ג' מ') "נחפשה דרכינו ונחקורה ונשובה עד ה'".

 וכ"כ הג"ר עקיבא איגר ז"ל (אגרות הגרע"א - אות ע"ג) בזמן המגפה: יחד לבבכם לה' עד אשר לא יבואו ימי הרעה ומורא מפני פחד ה' והדר גאונו לפשפש במעשים לתקן המעוות. עכ"ד.

וכתב הגר"ח פאלאג'י ז"ל (רפואה וחיים פרק ה' אות נ"א) על זמן המגפה: מי האיש החפץ חיים, צריך לו שישוב אל ה' על הכלל ועל הפרט ולעזוב עוונות שבידו ולנקות עצמו מבית ומחוץ. ואמרו רז"ל שכח התשובה ומעשים טובים קורעין גזר דינו של שבעים שנה. עכ"ד.  כתב הגר"ח פאלאג'י ז"ל (שם אות פ') לא ערוד ממית, אלא החטא ממית (ברכות לג.). וכבר אירע פעם שהתחכמו לגרש המגפה ע"י אופנים שונים, ומן השמים שלחו חולי רע דהוא יותר במהרה. ועל זה אמר דוד (תהלים קל"ט ז') "אנה אלך מרוחך ואנה מפניך אברח וגו'".

 ה' ברחמיו יזכנו לשמור דרכינו מכ ל חטא ועון, ונעשה רצונו יתברך כדי להכריע את העולם לכף זכות, ויתגברו הרחמים בעולם ולא ישלוט הקצף בשום מקום, ותשליך במצולות ים הדבר ומגפה והחולי רע וכל מיני חולאים רעים, ויערקו ויבריחו מעל בריותיו ברחמים לחיים. עכ"ל.  

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 01 Apr 2020 13:26 by DavidT.
  • iwillnevergiveup
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You did in the past you know it’s possible. 

private chat me. 

Re: Just getting started 01 Apr 2020 05:27 #348220

  • iwillnevergiveup
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Welcome. You are in the right place! Keep coming back, make a good game plan, and make sure you don’t go near any cliffs. If you have cliffs build fences.  

Re: Making it happen 01 Apr 2020 05:24 #348219

  • iwillnevergiveup
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It’s been a while. 

Re: Need help 01 Apr 2020 05:19 #348218

  • iwillnevergiveup
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Good for you that you opened up it’s not easy. You are in the right place.
Many others struggling with same have overcame their challenges. If Hashem gave you the test, you have the ability to overcome it. It’ll take real effort over a period of time but I promise you it’s possible.
You should also know for every second you said No, even if you fell right afterwards you get tremendous reward.
About the Gemara you quoted, i have never heard of this concept. Hashem still loves you and believes in you- you’re alive! 
There’s a tremendous amount of information on this site for all stages of struggle which can help you.
If you want help navigating the site and where to start, please private chat me. 
  • optomisim
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Thank you for the chizuk
The following user(s) said Thank You: Realestatemogul

Re: Need help 01 Apr 2020 04:03 #348213

  • optomisim
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man dont give up. I think you should stop obsessing about how bad you are. you are good. yeszter hara tries hard he will use even torah neviim kesuvim to bring you down. pray with joy. I struggle. anxiety and negativity and stress makes it worse for me... so try to be compassionate with yourself. keep it up!!
  • Realestatemogul
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If you would only see Hashem's smile from you picking yourself back up after your fall, you would surely go another 33 days with ease!!!

Hashem loves every success and if you just do the best you can, you will see tremendous results!! 
The following user(s) said Thank You: wilnevergiveup

Need help 01 Apr 2020 03:13 #348211

  • trying613
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Hello everyone! This is my first time posting on the website. A little nerve wracking, because not sure how many people are reading this, but here goes: I have been struggling with inappropriate material for a while. When I was a teen , I would go often to the library, ( I’m a big reader) but every time I would go would end up falling and looking at shmutz. Eventually made a Kabbalah not to go to the library alone , but the Yetzer harah found a different way to attack me. A relative’s house  where my family would go frequently was fully stocked with inappropriate books . After a few years filled with many falls and several Kabbalahs later , I discovered the internet... now bh I wasn’t porning every night or even every week , but had many falls, with masturbations. Last year I discovered this site , and thought it was just for me! Finally I have the opportunity to break free! Now it’s a year later, and I’m still stuck in the same place I always was. A constant cycle of teshuva, Kabbalah , growth, and fall. My phone is heavily filtered, but somehow the Yetzer harah always manages to find a different way to trip me. And I know that everyone says you’re supposed to be proud of your successes And all that , but I know the really scary Chazals about these sins... and I Also know the Gemara says (sotah 23a I believe) that aveirah mechabeh mitzvah, an aveirah extinguishes a mitzvah , which means the next time I look at porn I just destroyed all the work I’ve done until now. you could argue with me , but how will you argue on this Gemara?  They say on GYE to surrender your lust to Hashem , and I’ve davened and davened without success. Not that I blame Hashem for it. I take full responsibility for my actions , and because I sinned willfully many times. I don’t deserve Hashem’s help.  I don’t know what Hashem thinks of me , but I think I’m headed for hell. So looks like I will keep struggling with this for the rest of my life, and then will have to face the music upstairs... if anyone has any Chizuk would really appreciate it, because I’m close to giving up 
  • DavidT
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gzlt wrote on 31 Mar 2020 22:51:
Thank you for responding to my thread ''Am I gonna struggle for the rest of my life''. I am interested in knowing what the smart recovery program is, but didn't find anything about it on gye. Also I once spoke to someone from the gye staff who said that real change can only happen through 12 steps, where you actually reveal yourself to others, unlike all the chats on the website where it's code names. Also, is the SMART program approved by Rabbonim? Anyways I'll be glad for your insight, and thank you very much.

GYE has a lot of info on the smart recovery program...

guardyoureyes.com/forum/54-SMART-Recovery

SMART Recovery and Torah
guardyoureyes.com/forum/54-SMART-Recovery/346782-SMART-Recovery-and-Torah

Here are the basics:

SMART Recovery (Self Management And Recovery Training) helps individuals gain independence from addiction

The 4-Point Program offers specific tools and techniques for each of the program points:

Point 1: Building and Maintaining Motivation

Point 2: Coping with Urges

Point 3: Managing Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors

Point 4: Living a Balanced Life

STEP 1: "Stages of Change"
Understanding the Stages of Change, can help you understand yourself much better, and also help clarify what you should be focusing on.
We can be in one of 5 stages:


  1. Precontemplation - You're not interested in changing. Your goal is to start considering change.
  2. Contemplation - You're considering the change, but have mixed feelings. Your goal is to make a decision.
  3. Preparation - You're making a personal realistic and acceptable plan. Your goal is to make a commitment to implement the plan.
  4. Action - You're taking action to implement the plan, improving the plan with trial and error, dealing with slips and falls. Your goal is to apply the plan for 6 months and gain confidence that you can really do it.
  5. Maintenance - You're sustaining your new behavior and working to prevent relapse. Your goal is to improve your lifestyle in a way that supports the change for the long term.

The next step is to start a "plan of action" by replying to these questions:
  • The changes I want to make are:
  • The most important reasons why I want to make these changes are:
  • The steps I plan to take in changing are:
  • The ways other people can help me are: (include the names of some people and the possible ways each one can help)
  • I will know if my plan is working if:
  • Some things that could interfere with my plan
  • How important is it to me to make these changes? (1-10 scale)
  • How confident am I that I can make these changes? (1-10 scale)


Then we'll start creating a plan for Urge Management, environment control, rewards etc
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
  • gzlt
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Thank you for responding to my thread ''Am I gonna struggle for the rest of my life''. I am interested in knowing what the smart recovery program is, but didn't find anything about it on gye. Also I once spoke to someone from the gye staff who said that real change can only happen through 12 steps, where you actually reveal yourself to others, unlike all the chats on the website where it's code names. Also, is the SMART program approved by Rabbonim? Anyways I'll be glad for your insight, and thank you very much.
  • iwillnevergiveup
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You tripped you fell. You didn’t fall off the mountain. Every time you said no until now is still worth the same. 

Remember what you named yourself. 
The following user(s) said Thank You: DavidT, wilnevergiveup
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