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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

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After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

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Recent Posts

Re: New Member 30 Mar 2020 14:33 #348174

  • DavidT
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Hashem tells us, His beloved children, ״I created the yeitzer hora; I created Torah as its antidote, ״ (Kiddushin, 30b). The Mesilas Yesharim observes that if Torah is the remedy which Hashem prescribed, then that’s final. Success will not be possible without it. Torah learning releases profound powers, sheltering the learner from sin. The more involvement in Torah learning, the higher the level of protection .

Anyone, anywhere need only draw out the appropriate tool to deal with the present nisayon.  We Yidden always have the powerful weapon of tefillah available in our arsenal. When feeling overwhelmed by the yeitzer hora, we can plead to Hashem in our own heartfelt words to save us, His beloved children, from this monstrous attacker. Help may not arrive that very instant, but we need to keep on davening. It feels like a compelling force of demonic proportions, but Hashem can save us from undesired pleasure.

Let’s remember that Hashem wants to help us more than we want to be helped. And when we contemplate the nisyonos that bombard our brethren the world over, no doubt we will have them in mind in our tefillos, too. 

Rav Yitzchok Silberstein heard from the Taharas Hakodesh that simply turning one’s eyes away from the unsuitable welcomes in the Shechina. This person’s essence now comes close to Hashem, so to speak. Utilize this golden moment of eis ratzon and whisper a tefillah for all the things one wants in life. This is hinted at in the words, ישועת השם כהרף עין - The help of Hashem comes swiftly like the blink of an eye. 

Now at the climax of our history, ushering in the Mashiach era, Hashem wants to present us with the full force of 50 levels of kedusha. We are therefore witness today to an entirely new ball game. Permission has been granted to the denizens of the netherworld to thrust a final fling of the 50th level of pritzus full force into our faces. After Matan Torah, with the Torah as our arsenal, we are able to tackle every last bit of the fight – until we vanquish the reign of evil. With our souls fortified with Torah, we are capable of reaching and receiving the zenith of kedusha.

 Now we’re on the last lap of our journey, amidst the ever-quickening pace of Ikvesa D’Meshicha. We hear an unprecedented note of urgency – the corollary being that whoever lets themselves be swayed, even if they survived and succeeded in climbing up the previous rungs, will be caught and trapped by the 50th degree of impurity. But whoever is determined to combat the mighty pull of the dragnet is thereby hacking down the imprisoning walls of tumah and developing great stamina in the process.

 This continues until the moment when our spiritually powerful arms will pry open the gates for Mashiach to arrive amidst the full 50 degrees of our hard-earned kedusha.  

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Free Filters 30 Mar 2020 14:14 #348172

  • lionking
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Check out filters.pluckeye.net for a list of filters besides their own.

As an alternative to OpenDNS, check out Cleanbrowsing.org as it by default filters much better than OpenDNS. However if you need to customize it, you need to pay, versus OpenDNS allows some free customization.

Hatzlocha
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com
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New Member 30 Mar 2020 13:56 #348171

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Hello, I would like to introduce myself as Sassov and say I am excited about joining the 90-day program. I have been frustrated for a long time that I cannot make it to 90 days clean, or even close to there. The current COVID crisis has made me think a great deal about myself, my family, and my Avodas Hashem. I do not want to ignore this opportunity to make it to 90 days clean.

I chose my username, Sassov, based on my heritage. My parents are baalei teshuvah, but the last known frum relative in our family was my great, great grandfather, R' Yoel A'H, a Sassover chassid, baal habas, and talmid chochom close with the Sassover rebbe in Ukraine. In his zechus, I pray that I merit to grow. 
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Re: Free Filters 30 Mar 2020 12:08 #348170

Has anyone tried the free version of https://www.kaspersky.co.uk/safe-kids?
There’s Life Beyond Addiction
Email: info@guardyoureyes.org
Phone, Text or Whatsapp: 646-600-8100
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Free Filters 30 Mar 2020 12:05 #348169

Hi everyone,

Recently we've been getting a spike of inquiries for FREE filters. I'm starting this thread to address this issue and I hope others can chime in as well.

Just to clarify, if there's any way you can get a paid filter, please do it. You won't regret it. However, there are times when people who need filters most, like young bochurim, cannot get it because they don't have a credit card, and their parents are unwilling to sponsor it.

(GYE has a form where you can request a sponsored Netspark filter at https://guardyoureyes.com/protection. However, as for various reasons, it's not working smoothly yet. Also, some devices are not supported.)

The free filters that will be mentioned below are not fool proof. They can be easily disabled, don't do a great job at filtering, and can be bypassed. However, they are better than nothing if you combine them with with urge management skills, because at least you won't visit inappropriate sites accidentally or out of pure habit. You can read about Urge Management techniques at https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/54-SMART-Recovery/346935. For example, you can commit not disable the filter, or to only use browse in a public part of your home.

That said, here are some suggestions:

Chrome Skin Color Filtering https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/skin-filter/digkbjcglmbbipijiogdeegbfbepgdon?hl=en

TAG Image Filter
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/tag-image-filter/pjdabogckbepcemfdiigdkncfekikpki?hl=en

Website Blocker for Chrome
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/block-site-website-blocke/eiimnmioipafcokbfikbljfdeojpcgbh?hl=en   

OpenDNS
https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/
This can filter is very easy to setup, however, sometimes for mysterious reasons the setup process don't not work as expected. However, it's worth a try. Once you get it working, it does a decent job.

AdBlock
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock-%E2%80%94-best-ad-blocker/gighmmpiobklfepjocnamgkkbiglidom

Ad Block for YouTube
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock-for-youtube/cmedhionkhpnakcndndgjdbohmhepckk?hl=en

Blocksi Web Filter
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/blocksi-web-filter/pgmjaihnmedpcdkjcgigocogcbffgkbn

WebFilter FREE: Parental Control & Anti-Porn
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/webfilter-free-parental-c/epniipcfpbjliciholgdeipceecgcfmj?hl=en

Parental Controls for iOS
If you have an iPhone or iPad, you can use parental controls to setup an adult content filter, or even a whitelist. See here for more info https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201304. To make this solution better, ask someone else to set the password.

Pluckeye
https://www.pluckeye.net/
An advanced filter, but difficult to set up.
There’s Life Beyond Addiction
Email: info@guardyoureyes.org
Phone, Text or Whatsapp: 646-600-8100
Last Edit: 30 Mar 2020 12:19 by MenachemGYE.
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Re: My sad story 30 Mar 2020 09:54 #348168

  • Michael94
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Hello, I really feel sorry for you,

wake up and do something about your issue, you’re not draiying in 770 like one of the boys anymore (well now with covid19 I don’t think it’s possible), you’re married, you have a wife, iyh you’re gonna have kids....

do what the experienced people here have said, reach out to LIVE PEOPLE in email phone and eventually In PERSON. 

wishing you Hatzlocho in all!
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Re: My sad story 30 Mar 2020 00:58 #348167

  • eyes
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Hi Chassidishe bochur,
I really feel for you as I have a hard story as well.
PLease PM me
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Re: Just getting started 30 Mar 2020 00:56 #348166

Hey! Welcome! Please keep us updated with your journey  
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Just getting started 29 Mar 2020 22:14 #348165

  • Danie
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Hi guys this is the third day of my journey  and it’s really exciting. Especially at times like this when u don’t know how long vacation may go on it’s crucial to have a game plan. Thanx for everyone who’s here together. 
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  • DavidT
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Shiurim
  1. Large collection of shiurim https://www.torahanytime.com/
  2. Large collection of shiurim
    1. (718) 701-5157
    2. http://www.kolhalashon.com/
  3. Hashkafa/Mussar: Chovos Halevavos – Shaar Habitachon
    1. Speaker: HaRav Simcha Bunim Cohen Rov in Lakewood NJ
    2. Time: 1:25-1:35pm, daily
    3. Call in number: 205-825-9057
  4. OU live  – ou.org/oulive.
    1. Each afternoon at 1:00PM EDT – Recitation of Tehillim (chapters 20, 27 and 130) and divrei chizuk (words of inspiration) from our rabbanim.
    2. Monday-Thursday at 8:00 PM EDT nightly hour-long program, bringing you front row seats to our conversations with some of our community’s most inspiring and uplifting personalities.
  5. Daily shiurim via zoom from 4:30-5:00 pm –  www.2ndseder.com
    Next to each speaker is a link to the zoom info for that shiur
  6. Mishnayos phone system for men and boys ages 9+. Shiurim, tests, weekly raffles
    Call: (929) 299-6700
  7. Night Seder America – Nightly Gemara learning program via zoom for boys 6th-8th grade. 8:00pm-8:45pm. Gemara Meseches Tamid – celebrating a siyum on Erev Pesach
    Zoom meeting ID: 897-063-4419
  8. live שיעור on the סוגיות of ערבי פסחים given by גדולי ראשי ישיבה and מגידי שיעור.
    The number for the live שיעורים is:646.726.9977
    All throughout the day you can call732.363.6713  Or  718.766.4572    to hear a שיעור הכנה for this שיעור, as well as the מראה מקומות for the שיעור itself.A.Sunday night’s – live shmues and shiur will be given at:
    *8:45 – Divrei Chizuk from Harav Mendel Slomovitz
    *9:15 –Shiur from Harav Aryeh Sherwinter
    *10:00 Shiur Harav Tzvi BerkowitzB.Monday night’s – live shmues and shiur will be given at:
    *8:45 – Divrei Chizuk
    *9:15 –Shiur from Harav Michel Handelsman
    *10:15 Shiur Harav Avrohom Bromberg

Online Libraries
  1. Otzar HaChochma (tons of seforim for viewing/searching) is currently free for everyone: https://tablet.otzar.org/
  2. Sefaria: https://www.sefaria.org/
  3. HebrewBooks.org has many seforim for download; you can easily get any Masechta in Shas here or Mishna Berura here
  4. Halacha Academy has a bunch of clear, concise Halacha summaries in English: http://halacha.academy/
  5. Artscroll digital library – free 30 day subscription http://kb.artscroll.com/article/AA-20714
  6. Otzar Chachma – currently free http://www.otzar.org/otzaren/indexeng.asp
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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Re: Small corona lesson 29 Mar 2020 19:26 #348162

  • DavidT
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There are two ways to change bad habits and break free of addictions. The first is to quit cold turkey: the person departs entirely from his unsatisfactory behavior at once. The other method involves gradual change. The person changes one kind of inappropriate behavior at a time until he escapes it completely.

Quitting cold turkey has its advantages. When done right, a person can leave entire addictions behind in a short time. He won’t need to maintain his attention and effort for nearly as long. Although at first he will need extreme willpower, he will quickly develop new habits and need even less willpower than a regular person. Once he gets through the initial difficult period and eases into a new way of life, it becomes much easier to control himself.

However, quitting in one shot requires much internal strength and willpower. It is best employed by someone with a clear, unstressed mind. (See Sefer Cheshbon Hanefesh, subsections 11-12.) Usually, it takes strong motivation for someone to make such a dramatic change and stick to it. Often, this method needs a life-changing experience that creates a sudden shift in perspective.

Feelings that can spark such a change include a surge of strong positive motivation and healthy ambition, or the guilt and clarity obtained from hitting  rock bottom. The most effective transformations combine both — the person is shaken up but is also excited to do something about it and become great.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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  • DavidT
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TheSicarioWarrior wrote on 29 Mar 2020 07:13:
Please somebody help. I am helpless against what is going on right now. With being stuck at home, I now have access (unknown to my parents) to unfiltered internet literally at my fingertips (I know the codes to my parents’ iPad/iPhone). I have no trouble during the day, but come nighttime, I fall. I stay up late watching the filth night after night. I previously was doing much better overall, but this is absolutely killing me. Please help. 

This struggle is very normal, and everybody deals with it on some level or another. Having a desire for this doesn’t mean that there is anything negative about a person. We say twice daily in Shema, "do not explore inappropriate sights, after which you stray". The passuk is addressing every person in every generation. Even chashuve people and those who lived centuries ago had to deal with this issue. Likewise, when talking about this desire, Chazal tell us that a person’s nefesh craves it. Chazal aren’t referring specifically to bad people; they are addressing every single person. Do not condemn himself as being no good when you encounters a nisayon.

A good area that can positively impact this struggle is developing one’s overall self-control, without specifically targeting this issue. The reason for this is because when a person acts out, his fundamental problem is that he is lacking in his ability to withstand an urge; therefore, when he is faced with a difficult nisayon, he falls apart. By giving in to every ta’avah he has, a person allows the the yetzer hora to gain a hold over him. The person must therefore back-track and work on becoming a more disciplined person in general, someone who doesn’t always have to give in to every ta’avah that he has. Even if the nisayon of kedushah is too hard for him to withstand at this point, nonetheless, by working on his general self-control, he will be developing his ability to say “No”, and eventually, kedushah-related nisyonos will also become easier to resist.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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  • Jj123
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It is so ridiculously tempting to fold after after a fall.
Kudos for pushing through it. That mindset is what make all the difference in the long run.
Keep it up!
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Re: My sad story 29 Mar 2020 13:21 #348156

  • sleepy
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Changing wrote on 04 Jul 2018 04:37:

Chassidishe buchur wrote on 03 Jul 2018 05:29:

It started when I was in eighth grade, I was in the smart class of our grade, originally I wasn't put in the smart class but I really wanted to be in it so my father convinced the school to put me in. I regret till today being in that class for the following reason. One day one of my friends was learning Chumash about שלמית בת דברי and he didn't understand the whole idea, about the egyption coming into the house etc. so another one of my friends explained to him that for a child to be born the parents need to have s.. and explained what it is and told him he can see videos of it on the internet just go to s...com. after hearing this I got very curious to check it out but I didn't have access to a computer with internet in my house. But the next time I went to my father's house (my parents are devorced and I live with my mother) I had access to a computer with internet and I checked it out.



and after that you understood the Pasuk well? what a great learning tool! Is Torah Umesorah aware of this website?
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com
  • yechidah
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recommended reading

biography of Rav Noach Weinberg (written in a intellectual way)

biography of Rebbetzin Esther Jungries (written in an emotional way)

both are fantastic & gives deep insight into the importance of kiruv & bringing back every Jew
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