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Re: fell 09 Apr 2021 14:22 #366586

  • DavidT
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yankeesrock wrote on 08 Apr 2021 01:23:
Just fell and I don't know how I'm ever going to make it to 90 

If you focus now on 90 it will be almost impossible to get there.. Like when climbing a steep mountain, if you look at the top, you'll fall down but if you concentrate on each step, you'll get to 90 and way beyond that with the help of Hashem!
Keep strong!
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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Re: NEW THREAD 09 Apr 2021 14:15 #366585

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thetimeisnow! wrote on 09 Apr 2021 13:58:
It totally is worth the effort

My YH knocked on the door yesterday and I had an absolutely huge urge. However, I reminded myself that Hashem would be watching me if I sinned, and that was very embarrassing to think about, so I ultimately was able to make it through.

This is very inspiring. Classic example of true Yiras Shamayim. 
​Some people claim that they are powerless to stay clean (I'm not trying to tear down the concept of powerless in the 12 step program)  but if a person would stand right near them they wouldn't sin then... 

Imagine hidden cameras monitoring your progress through life. The whole world is watching. People cheer when you succeed and boo when you fail.

With all those people staring, won't you be careful with every move? Won't your motivation to succeed increase tremendously?

Walk with a constant awareness of Hashem. Fear of Hashem gives you full freedom. Nothing will stand in your way. The dog is insignificant compared to fear of Hashem. You just push right ahead. You're free from all other fears. You have turned yourself into a pure conduit for the will of Hashem.

The Talmud says: "Everything is in the hands of heaven – except for fear of God." Fear of God is completely up to us. If you want it, you've got it.

But there's a question on this point. In our daily prayers we say, vi'ti'tain lanu chaim she'yesh bahem yirat shamayim v'yirat chet. We specifically ask the Almighty to give us "fear of God." But if "fear of God" is in our hands, why do we ask God to give it?

The answer is that everything, of course, depends on the Almighty. We can't lift a finger without God. With most things, you can yearn deeply and still not attain it. You can desire to be a millionaire so badly that you work 80 hours a week and stand on your head – and you can still die a pauper.

But fear of God is different. It's the only thing that, "if you really want it, you've got it." With everything else, God may evaluate that your request is not good for you. But fear of God is the one thing the Almighty won't withhold if you truly desire it, because it's the one thing that always brings you into reality. It's always good for you.

If you really want it, it's yours.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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Re: NEW THREAD 09 Apr 2021 13:58 #366584

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It totally is worth the effort

My YH knocked on the door yesterday and I had an absolutely huge urge. However, I reminded myself that Hashem would be watching me if I sinned, and that was very embarrassing to think about, so I ultimately was able to make it through.
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  • HappyYid
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I feel for you buddy, I really do.
Hatzlacha on the continued journey!
The good part is that after Shabbos you'll see 2 on the chart already
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
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Well I had a fall yesterday. It feels really bad. Especially after doing well for so long seeing a 0 on the chart is a little bit disheartening. From here I just have to make sure this doesn't spiral anywhere and I can keep things going. Make this fall into a trip not a nose dive.
​I have added extra precautions and safeguards to try to prevent future problems. ( I am a big believer  in Einstein's definition of insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results) So let us hope that my new safety nets will help me get right back on the horse to try and continue on this journey.  
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Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 09 Apr 2021 10:43 #366578

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I'm not sure what filter you use, but many/most filters can block all images/videos or just "bad" ones; nothing to do with whether the site has pornographic content

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 09 Apr 2021 05:33 #366573

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lionking wrote on 09 Apr 2021 01:33:
I fell again twice last night. Once with erotic content and the other time was just with masturbating a few hours later / this morning.
Funny thing is I wasn't trying to circumvent the filter, I was checking what I can access even with a filter. It is a pretty hard loophole to close, since it's business sites and the text has no reference to porn/nudity so an offensive word filter or a domain named filter cannot recognize it.

I switched out my browser today to pluckeye which blocks all video and images by default.Still researching screenshot accountability software. WebChaver / Convenant eyes recently doesn't work well at all. Perhaps Truple is a better option. 

Pls pm me, I have discount codes for truple if you want
My thread: Let's get this party started

Who the heck is Benoni?


Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. -Gerald Vaughan
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Wassup heiligeh yidden?
BH doing so well. Gonna go on a rant now so now's your chance to turn around if you don't want to spend the next few minutes reading someone else's life lol.

Im actually on a road trip with my fam in Utah of all places. Now there's a couple big nisyonos that are unique to this trip for me.
  1. Tourists are mamesh the most pritzusdik people ever! If only the goyishe olam could pick up some fashion tips from the amazing frum tznius women. Halevai...
  2. I'm staying in a hotel room by myself. L'maiseh I know it is basically assur to do this but it's just my parents and me on the trip. They're staying in one room and me in another. Maybe I could share with my father. I'll see how tonight goes.

Anyways whats going well is that while I still am working shmiras einayim out in the wild, I have not yet fallen to zera levatala in a few days BH. Also during this period of aveilus, I have only listened to pure a capella music (except b'shogeg in stores, etc.) Also cannot wait to shave lol. But R' Akiva is a huge inspiration for me as a fellow BT and I try take the mourning of his talmidim not only seriously but personally. Anyways, believe me, it is hard to go on a road trip through a desert with no music except sefira albums. BH there are so many inspirational sefira albums that are kosher! 

Also, as I had predicted, the filter on my pc is not only a lifesaver in regards to shmiras einayim online but also with productivity. 

BARUCH HASHEM!!! I just wanna shout Baruch Hashem out to the people of Moab, Utah lol

Rabbosai, you wanna have true kavana every time you daven from now on? So think that every single tefilah you say could be your last. And don't just have it in the back of your mind- have in mind that you could literally get into a car crash c"v and be in shomayim in half an hour, or you could have a heart attack c"v, or if you live in NY with Cuomo (aka the malach hamavis) you're probably already dead... you get the picture. Think when you go into shacharis, "What if this is the last shemoneh esrei I ever say in this world? If I am niftar today, do I wanna greet G-d in shomayim and regret I didnt daven to Him b'kavana this morning?" Just something I've been trying out and thought I could share this nice mussar with the chevra here. Lmk if anyone tries it out and how it works for you pls.

Most concerning part about this rant is I'm not even drunk
My thread: Let's get this party started

Who the heck is Benoni?


Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. -Gerald Vaughan
Last Edit: 09 Apr 2021 05:47 by בינוני.
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Re: Square one 09 Apr 2021 05:00 #366571

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Woke up frustrated and tired today. Went to the bathroom and almost acted out on impulse

Re: I'm Back! 09 Apr 2021 04:57 #366570

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Hey!

How is it going? Would love to hear an update.
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))

I love logging into GYE after a while and seeing posts like these. Keep up the great work!!
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Very constructive post!
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
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Re: NEW THREAD 09 Apr 2021 03:46 #366567

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Very very impressive stuff geirus

For most people the YH is def there just depending on how far in a lot of people find that the hardest stretch is around days 25-40
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
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Re: fell 09 Apr 2021 03:40 #366566

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To echo R Grant (never a bad move) its going to take some time to improve yourself to the point where you can really take this shmutz out of ur life for good. In the meantime if you already fell id advise using that to your advantage and using how bad you feel now to strengthen yourself to try to do better in the future
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
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Re: RebbiAkivaBefore40 09 Apr 2021 03:35 #366565

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Wishing you much hatzlocha!

If you ever need anything feel free to pm me 
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better
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