Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
Recent Posts

Re: enough is enough! 22 Aug 2019 18:56 #343041

  • i-man
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 320
  • Karma: 51
i-man wrote on 22 Aug 2019 04:13:
Today was a pretty good day considering...
Thank you Hashem for allowing that to happen.

I was thinking - maybe this is just because I'm desensitized...
  • Dave M
  • Current streak: 240 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 93
  • Karma: 4
Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 22 Aug 2019 17:24:
Not true

If you have a good vort to say, something that might help someone in his avoidas hashem, practicalur in this area regardless if the source was provided then post away!

Agree.  This forum is not a learning seder.  It's for providing/receiving chizuk
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017
Not true

If you have a good vort to say, something that might help someone in his avoidas hashem, practicalur in this area regardless if the source was provided then post away!
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, attend weekly live "SMART recovery" meetings.

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017, Dave M
  • Markz
  • Current streak: 87 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7146
  • Karma: 373
Not true


__________
disclaimer 1: if you post on a forum then you run the risk of someone actually responding. Who doesn’t like a friendly convo???

disclaimer 2: if you post on a forum w/o sources you run the risk of someone thinking that it’s Cholent (old user) posting in Mottel’s Kitchen (old thread) with some Boich svara’s. A diet may be helpful...
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017
  • gyehelp2017
  • Current streak: 120 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 107
  • Karma: 9
#51
As long as we believe that we can change, then we have hope. And as soon as we actually take our first step to change, then not only do we have hope, we also start having freedom.
The following user(s) said Thank You: David26fr, Shnitzel and kugel
  • sleepy
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 48
sleepy wrote on 22 Aug 2019 00:13:

stillgoing wrote on 31 Jul 2019 21:57:

Realestatemogul wrote on 30 Jul 2019 04:34:
Also, I got a filter B''h to help with the fight, but then another avenue just came up that I will struggle with. I promised if I look then I will lose $50.

stillgoing wrote:
I've spent so much money threatening myself. Actually I probably didn't loose that much since I didn't always have the guts to pay up...

good luck on the new challenge. My personal moto that I (TRY!!!) to keep is, keep on going & keep on trying, but don't keep on doing the same old thing and hoping for different results.

sleepy wrote:
true ,but sometimes if the old thing is a good thing it sometimes takes time,and dont be so quick to discard it,
someone was advised by their Rebbe to do something to improve in a certain area, and the talmid said that hes taking the advice ,but he sees that hes getting worse as time goes by. eventually he did succeed,big time!


 and sleepy wrote some more:
i forgot to  mention the main point,   
" someone was advised by their Rebbe to do something to improve in a certain area,"and with a certain method "and the talmid said that hes taking the advice ,but he sees that hes getting worse as time goes by. eventually he did succeed,big time!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 22 Aug 2019 15:13 by sleepy.
The following user(s) said Thank You: ColinColin

Re: enough is enough! 22 Aug 2019 04:13 #343029

  • i-man
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 320
  • Karma: 51
Today was a pretty good day considering...
Thank you Hashem for allowing that to happen.
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017, Dave M, Street, sleepy
  • sleepy
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 48
stillgoing wrote on 31 Jul 2019 21:57:

Realestatemogul wrote on 30 Jul 2019 04:34:
Also, I got a filter B''h to help with the fight, but then another avenue just came up that I will struggle with. I promised if I look then I will lose $50.

I've spent so much money threatening myself. Actually I probably didn't loose that much since I didn't always have the guts to pay up...

good luck on the new challenge. My personal moto that I (TRY!!!) to keep is, keep on going & keep on trying, but don't keep on doing the same old thing and hoping for different results.

true ,but sometimes if the old thing is a good thing it sometimes takes time,and dont be so quick to discard it,
someone was advised by their Rebbe to do something to improve in a certain area, and the talmid said that hes taking the advice ,but he sees that hes getting worse as time goes by. eventually he did succeed,big time!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 22 Aug 2019 00:18 by sleepy.
The following user(s) said Thank You: stillgoing
  • Captain
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0
Wow! Keep it up!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Best way to break free: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Try it and see!
  • Captain
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0

Another inspiring piece (from Chapter 20 of The Battle Of The Generation.
guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation?category_id=149):

We must remember that overcoming difficulty is the main purpose of life!

Hashem put us in this world for us to accomplish while we are here and then enjoy what we have earned in the World to Come. Hashem’s goal in creation was to give us the greatest pleasure in the next world. So why did He make it so hard for us to choose right? Why didn’t He give us a huge desire to learn and do mitzvos? Why did He create us with bad character traits? Why did He implant within us such strong desire for sin?

            The answer is that the point of life in this world is to succeed in the face of challenge (Mesillas Yesharim, Chapter 1). If there would be minimal or no challenge, doing the right thing would not be impressive. That’s why it’s no big deal when angels do good. Nothing pulls them in the wrong direction. Facing spiritual challenges is an opportunity reserved for man alone, and overcoming these challenges is the point of life. . . .

            We must . . . realize the profound significance of this teaching. In Avos D’Rebbe Nosson (3:6), Rabbi Yishmael the son of Rabbi Yosi relates that a mitzvah done despite difficulty is worth more than a hundred mitzvos done without challenge. Again, a mitzvah done despite challenge is over a hundred times as great as a mitzvah done when it is easy! What an eye-opener! We see that the real greatness is when a person succeeds despite challenges. This is good news for us, because when we win our difficult battles, we acquire numerous acts of greatness and reach astounding levels in the next world! Amazing!

In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Best way to break free: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Try it and see!
The following user(s) said Thank You: Dave M, sleepy

Re: Trigger 21 Aug 2019 21:14 #343021

  • Street
  • Current streak: 42 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 15
  • Karma: 0
I've heard that too, but I meant in terms of it being a trigger as opposed to just an opportunity. Those gedolim probably meant altz the opportunity.
  • Dave M
  • Current streak: 240 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 93
  • Karma: 4
R' Shafier speaks about this in his "Fight" series.  Many ppl were put in certain situations that were nearly impossible to overcome.  Their nisayon was not to overcome that specific challenge.  Rather, once they were put in that situation how did they respond?  Once they became addicts, did they seek the necessary help?
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017, sleepy

Re: Trigger 21 Aug 2019 19:59 #343019

  • Dave M
  • Current streak: 240 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 93
  • Karma: 4
Street wrote on 21 Aug 2019 18:03:
 Maybe we could apply the same concept to yichud with unfiltered internet... 

I've heard in the name of many gedolim that hilchos yichud does apply to a computer with access to unfiltered internet.  I certainly would not trust myself in that situation.   
gyehelp2017 wrote on 21 Aug 2019 17:58:

Markz wrote on 21 Aug 2019 17:38:

gyehelp2017 wrote on 21 Aug 2019 14:57:
#50
Hashem does not give us struggles that we cannot overcome. Sometimes we got to use all that we got to keep strong, But we definitely can overcome those struggles.

Hey 2017, Hi!

This maybe true, it could be good if you could upgrade the hard drive with backup (source sheets...)

”Hashem does not give us struggles that we cannot overcome. Sometimes we got to use all that we got to keep strong”

Some struggles we have are overcome-able, yes - with help from outside ourselves!

I’m just sayin’ what works for me :-)

As I once heard from Rabbi Avrohom J. Twersky speaking about concept in the 12 steps - being 'powerless', and someone asked him that according to torah we always have Bichirah, how can that work together? He answered brilliantly, that yes! We always have bichirah to do whats right, for some with their own power, and others that are powerless themselves (according to the 12 steps) with the help of others outside of ourselves (Higher power, group meetings, the steps.....). But we always have the power to get to the bottom line to overcome even the worst addictions, each to their own.

I heard another pshat, that a person is born with the ability of free choice, if he became an addict and lost free choice, then ye he chose to take that path which eventually took away his power of free choice.

It's like a person which makes himself deadly ill to a point that he has zero control to choose to live because at that stage it's too late, he used his "free choice" to end up in a situation which can't be backtrackted.
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, attend weekly live "SMART recovery" meetings.

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017, sleepy
I don't see the contradiction, with all friends and "outside help" which is necessary, however if the person himself doesn't want to change then no friends or therapy will help. 

I chose to join gye, I chose to fight each urge, I chose to go to therapy, I chose to join live meetings, it was my free choice. 
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, attend weekly live "SMART recovery" meetings.

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
The following user(s) said Thank You: gyehelp2017, Dave M, sleepy
Time to create page: 0.54 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes