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Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

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After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

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Re: NEW THREAD 11 Apr 2021 01:46 #366626

  • thetimeisnow!
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So, I fell again on Friday. I made it two weeks but that just isn't going to cut it.

I was doing really well actually, I was suppressing really strong urges in the days leading up to my fall, and I constantly thought of Hashem watching me every second of my life.

Then Friday came, and in the evening, I got into a very triggering situation. I started to act out and actually felt so terrible about it that I stopped before...you know.

But because I had started acting out, the urge only got worse and started interfering with my thought process, and I eventually did act out later that evening. I felt so terrible after, like I knew I would, and still feel a great sense of shame because I knew that Hashem was watching me the whole time. 

However, I don't feel depressed. If anything, I feel a greater sense of urgency to finish this once and for all. I know I can do this.

Being on a university campus hasn't been helping though. There is so much immodesty everywhere, especially since it has been getting warmer, that I can't even leave my building for ten seconds to walk to the deli without accidentally looking at half naked people. It really is a shame the way people dress nowadays...I practically have to look directly at the ground wherever I go because it is just that bad. So yeah that doesn't help.

If there is anything to be proud about in this situation, it is that I again made the conscious decision to not watch pornography when I acted out. Currently standing at 82 days BH. 

Anyway, I know I must try again - I am eager to try again. The time is now to make a change for the better.

Shavua Tov everyone, I will continue to try and post every day.

thetimeisnow!
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Pure123 wrote on 09 Apr 2021 15:35:

"the highest level of Pleasure is LOVE" not sex...
"the highest level of Pain in Loneliness

the problem is that the secular world stole the meaning of love and transformed it into sex and physicall... 

LOVE is a feeling , an emoition... 

when we feel loved we feel happy...

Reaching love starts by truly loving OURSELVES... 

reaching selflove is hard work, that's why we run to find different ways to reach love and the secular world tells us that being with a girl gives us love...

comment "AGREE" if you agree?


Totally agree!! In fact I would go further and say that if we learn how to love ourselves then our lust problems will disappear...
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Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 10 Apr 2021 22:39 #366619

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I guess, but all the jewish filtering companies can block images and I'm 90% sure about videos.

Re: Square one 10 Apr 2021 21:59 #366618

Day 2
BH I'm clean 
Looking forward to being busy with Zman. I think I've had a few days where I didn't realise how much free time alone I would have
Does anyone know when gye 2.0 is being launched?
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Re: Hypnosis 10 Apr 2021 21:46 #366617

  • wilnevergiveup
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Kedushaone wrote on 09 Apr 2021 18:16:
Does anyone here know of a case where hypnosis helped anyone remove from his psyche sexual fetish urges and rather get his mind and body want only simple sex, and I'll explain, since from when I was young I always associated this whole thing only via weird scenarios i.e. cfnm, bdsm, degradation, humiliation etc. even before I knew the names etc, but just plain sex never spoke to me or gave me real enjoyment, so that now that I'm married for 18 years already my wife doesn't really satisfy me since even if I watch myself not to look or think of these stuff and stay fully clean for a long while (which is by far not east) even so she can't satisfy me really since my real fulfillment comes from the most weird degrading and humiliator situations which isn't practical to do with her by a far shot..... so I was thinking that ill ask here if anyone hs heard of such a thing that hypnosis can help change my urges and that my enjoyment should be from simple decent relationships, and if yes if there are guys  who know hypnotist's that are good for this and there contact info as well I'd really appreciate it

Thanks much for all and a wonderful Shabbos

Hey there, welcome to the forum.

Ever spoke to anyone about what you are going through? Real people with experience are usually the proper address for these issues. Maybe a therapist, maybe a Rav, someone who specializes in this area. 

Just wondering. 

If you've already spoken your fill to real people and are just coming hear to hear the choshuve anonymous faceless hidden chevra's take, by all means. But we are no replacement to proper guidance from real people on real issues (unless this hasn't been an issue for you).

Wishing you clarity and success in your journey.

Wilnevergiveup
Check out My thread

Daily Dose of Clarity

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: MY PATH TO SANITY 10 Apr 2021 19:11 #366616

  • wilnevergiveup
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Lionking is the filter expert of GYE. 

He knows what he is talking about. Just saying.
Check out My thread

Daily Dose of Clarity

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Hypnosis 10 Apr 2021 18:46 #366615

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I'm not sure about hypnosis, but I'm pretty sure a therapist and maybe even a sexaholics anonymous group would help. Maybe call Dov.
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hashemyeracheim613 wrote on 09 Apr 2021 19:01:
Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I last posted. In life, certain trying circumstances have come up. I am extremely anxious and tense, and I'm constantly doubting my decisions. My Kedusha has suffered a lot as a result. 

I'm sorry to hear that. In general I find talking those stressful out with a listening ear (especially a therapist) is really helpful.
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בינוני wrote on 09 Apr 2021 05:28:
Rabbosai, you wanna have true kavana every time you daven from now on? So think that every single tefilah you say could be your last. And don't just have it in the back of your mind- have in mind that you could literally get into a car crash c"v and be in shomayim in half an hour, or you could have a heart attack c"v, or if you live in NY with Cuomo (aka the malach hamavis) you're probably already dead... you get the picture. Think when you go into shacharis, "What if this is the last shemoneh esrei I ever say in this world? If I am niftar today, do I wanna greet G-d in shomayim and regret I didnt daven to Him b'kavana this morning?" Just something I've been trying out and thought I could share this nice mussar with the chevra here. Lmk if anyone tries it out and how it works for you pls.

Please let us know if this works long term

Re: Pray for me please 10 Apr 2021 18:38 #366612

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If you go to the local TAG Office, they will help you. They are very knowledgable in the different types of filters
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136 days clean

Wishing you all a very hearty good shabbos!
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OivedElokim wrote on 08 Apr 2021 04:43:
I feel lost and helpless, stranded on an island on the stormy sea called Life, with no tools to build a ship strong enough to deliver me from the clutches of crushing self-doubt and depression, to the safe harbor of confidence and success.
But there's a faint voice of hope within me, an echo of a deep seated faith that G-d has not abandoned me, that he has not left me alone.
That somewhere on this island there are tools and materials to build a strong and sturdy naval vessel, with which to safely embark to calmer waters and friendlier shores. 

Good night

IF there's one thing I've learned from being on GYE, it's that the battle itself gives you the tools you need to succeed, because whenever you lose you learn what caused the loss and then you can take steps to avoid it. Plus, people tend to pick up other good habits while battling, like you with your davening. That makes me think you're definitely on the right track. Just continue learning from your losses (though I hope you don't have any more), picking up good habits, and relying on your support system and I know you'll win. It's obviously going to happen sooner or later because you're "oivedElokim ", and a true oived Elokim  will do what Hashem wants no matter how hard it is for him. Have a great shabbos!!!
Last Edit: 09 Apr 2021 22:31 by #makelifegreatagain.
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Re: RebbiAkivaBefore40 09 Apr 2021 22:19 #366609

TO paraphrase Rebbi Akiva: If drip by drip water can make a hole in a rock, then day by day you can make yourself stronger and stay clean. 
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Re: Hypnosis 09 Apr 2021 22:03 #366608

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I've quietly wondered about hypnosis...
  • OivedElokim
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Day nineteen 

Thankful to Hashem that I am still clean, that I have a better therapist, supportive parents and siblings, close friends and numerous gifts and talents.

Praying to Him that I successfully utilize all of the above in the proper way, in accordance with his will, and that he speedily sends us Moshiach. So that our service to him will feel natural and no longer be fraught  with difficulty and pain.

ואמרת ביום ההוא אודך ה׳ כי אנפת בי, ישוב אפך ותנחמני
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Last Edit: 09 Apr 2021 20:45 by OivedElokim.
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