Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

Motivation
(0 viewing) 
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Motivation 146 Views

Motivation 27 Jun 2021 22:33 #370266

  • bitachon22
  • Current streak: 37 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 1
Hi, I am a young married frum guy with 2 kids.
I have been masterbating for many years. Right now my struggle is mainly motivation. Being that I've been doing this for so long and this has turned into the norm, I feel very little motivation to stop because my dandy life is just going on like this for so long. I feel I have lost sensitivity towards this as being a terrible thing etc. I don't feel very bad whenever I am done.

I'm very new to this site so I'm not sure if I'm using it correctly. I've been in touch with people from GYE before and I was told about smart recovery. I was told that I should get myself a partner and my partner suggested that I reach out on the Forum. So I hope I'm using this forum right. I'm reaching out to whoever can guide me to making a proper plan of action and thereby renewing my motivation and then hopefully finally ending this lifestyle of mine. 

There's allot of stuff on this site so if someone can give me guidance where to look etc, I'd greatly appreciate it. 

Re: Motivation 27 Jun 2021 23:24 #370268

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 197 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7603
  • Karma: 387
bitachon28 wrote on 27 Jun 2021 22:33:
Hi, I am a young married frum guy with 2 kids.
I have been masterbating for many years. Right now my struggle is mainly motivation. Being that I've been doing this for so long and this has turned into the norm, I feel very little motivation to stop because my dandy life is just going on like this for so long. I feel I have lost sensitivity towards this as being a terrible thing etc. I don't feel very bad whenever I am done.

I'm very new to this site so I'm not sure if I'm using it correctly. I've been in touch with people from GYE before and I was told about smart recovery. I was told that I should get myself a partner and my partner suggested that I reach out on the Forum. So I hope I'm using this forum right. I'm reaching out to whoever can guide me to making a proper plan of action and thereby renewing my motivation and then hopefully finally ending this lifestyle of mine. 

There's allot of stuff on this site so if someone can give me guidance where to look etc, I'd greatly appreciate it. 

Welcome - you’re ahead of the game!!

Was that a mis-spell.
Do you want guidance where to look or where not to look??

The handbook has some basics. 
There’s some good stuff in my signature below too. 

But the idea of the forum is posting often to build connection- so maybe start there...
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 28 Jun 2021 00:08 by Markz.

Re: Motivation 28 Jun 2021 02:35 #370272

  • HappyYid
  • Current streak: 18 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 322
  • Karma: 18
Hey!
Welcome to GYE!
It's awesome that you came here, it's an amazing place to be.
I definitely can relate to what you seem to be going through. I also had a 'wonderful' life which included masturbating 3 times a day. Everything was great, I was a well liked person, I was a masmid, etc. I got married right away, and have two kids bh. Life was just really fine. 

So I just needed that kick in the pants. Because deep down we know that life is really not fine like this. 
We know that it's really bad.
Are you really able to look at your wife in the eyes and feel like she is the only one in your world? Chances are you're masturbating while thinking of other women. So life is not fine, as much as life is going good and you feel like this is just part of your life, that doesn't mean that deep down you know what's right. You know you can't go on like this. Things can get very bad cv if you don't stop. Check out this story which is fiction but can happen to anyone.
As far as where you should look, yeah it could get overwhelming in the beginning but look around the forums, see what others are writing and slowly you'll get the hang of it.

I wish you best of luck!
You can do this!
Stay connected- that's the key to stay clean (for many).

HappyYid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread
Last Edit: 28 Jun 2021 02:41 by HappyYid.

Re: Motivation 28 Jun 2021 03:03 #370274

  • gettingthere9
  • Current streak: 114 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 79
  • Karma: 9
Welcome aboard!
I am also pretty new here, 
I feel that we (and many  others here) have a lot in common. I also felt kind of numb at the whole thing...
The question you gotta ask yourself is 'What AM I doing here on GYE, if I don't really care?' 
Something probably happened that made you reach out for help. 
A lot of us convince ourselves (me included) that everything is fine and dandy...
But really...
Its not.
And thats why we are all here...
to get help.
(I personally get tons of chizuk reading through Ish MiGrodno's forum guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/356161-Gardener-of-Grodno among others)
Hope for the best Prepare for the worst
Last Edit: 28 Jun 2021 03:10 by gettingthere9.

Re: Motivation 28 Jun 2021 22:50 #370305

  • excellence
  • Current streak: 14 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 199
  • Karma: 13
Yes I defiantly struggle with this too, I used to feel very down after every fall which did me no good so over the years iv'e gone to the other extreme and i don't (allow myself to) feel too bad.

Perhaps we can start a list of motivational reasons to stop:


#1: It only gets worse, If we don't stop now you can/likely will really end up in situations you would never imagine. 

​#2: There is no greater satisfaction than a true meaningful relation/connection with someone. P & M is the complete opposite, it pulls us away from that. It's utter emptiness. When interviewed, they all say they don't feel good afterwards.



Any other ideas....? I know there are many but I just chose what iv'e been thinking about recently..  


 
"The pain after giving in is so much greater than the pain of not giving in"
You may find some Chizuk here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/361746-Striving-for-Excellence

A must read: 

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/The%20First%20Day%20of%20the%20Rest%20of%20My%20Life.pdf

  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.37 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes