Guard Your Eyes - Forum Kunena Site Syndication Tue, 20 Aug 2019 05:55:24 +0000 Kunena 1.6 Guard Your Eyes - Forum en-gb Subject: Mixed feelings - by: Inspired
It's hard to believe, but after at least 10 years of struggling with porn and masturbation I have reached 47 days of being clean! It all started when I joined GYE 47 days ago... Thank you team!

To be honest, I don't find my struggle any easier. I find that I can more easily distract myself from lust more so than in the past, but I still feel weak like as if at any moment I could succumb to my temptation . The silver lining is that this feeling doesn't allow for complacency. 

Nonetheless, the main thing I wanted to discuss with all of you and what I would love to hear feedback about is regarding what happened to me tonight. I was watching a movie tonight most probably rated PG13 for its violence and during the movie a completely inappropriate scene was played. On one hand, I feel guilty that I allowed myself to be put in that situation and from not refraining from such a movie when it will inevitably display something inappropriate. But from a different perspective, I really didn't suspect such a scene and I quickly averted my eyes. 

This is one example of many similar situations where it's a combination of good and bad or of winning and failing. 

Any thoughts??????! ]]>
On the Way to 90-Days Mon, 19 Aug 2019 07:57:47 +0000
Subject: First post - by: ben sorer I'm a long time lurker and this is my first post! I created this account in 2015 when I was single. Much has changed in the past four years. Throughout my teenage years acting out was a constant struggle. When I was in high school, a friend of mine convinced me to go to a local electronic store and buy a smartphone so we could watch movies. That's when things really started getting out of control. I started watching porn on a daily basis and I couldn't stop. I felt powerless. I felt like a terrible person. I thought I must be the most disgusting human being that ever lived. Then I found GYE. Stop, don't roll your eyes just yet , I didn't magically cease to struggle when I ventured onto GYE. Instead I saw a glimmer of hope. There are others out there! Ehrliche yidden, yirei shamayim, who are struggling too. This gave me tremendous Chizzuk. over the next two years I had some victories and relapses. In 2017 I got engaged. At that point I had not had a smartphone and was clean for a while. I was ecstatic. I thought that getting married would be the final nail in the coffin for my ugly habits. Bh over the course of my 4 month plus engagement I was completely clean. For me that was the longest period I have ever been clean for. Shortly after I got married I started using my wife's laptop to look for inappropriate material. Luckily she had a good filter installed. Then I got a smartphone. I was smart enough to get a good filter, but every filter has it's weaknesses. It wasn't long before I found some loopholes and i started acting out again. This went on for the past two years. About a month ago, I decided that enough is enough. I called up TAG and asked them to help me close the loopholes. I have not acted out since. I hope to reach 90 days and never act out again. Yes that's my goal. I'm reaching for the stars and I am determined to get there. Thanks for listening y'all I know that was quite lengthy. Thank you so much to all you brave GYE members who are Mechazek all of us who are struggling]]> On the Way to 90-Days Sun, 18 Aug 2019 16:51:48 +0000 Subject: I hope Ill permanently break free this time - by: Freedom12121  I've been viewing pornography since i was about 10 years old. I grew up in a traditional Jewish home that wasn't fully observant but attended a modern orthodox school. I was often very intrigued by the Torah Classes, and was always very spiritual. My family had no Idea about the negative effects of porn or that it was considered such a sin in the Torah, and although I doubt they were aware of my constant porn viewing they assumed viewing porn is a natural part of growing up. Now I'm in my mid 20's I've become religious 3 Years ago and I've been working on not watching porn or masturbating for the past 3 years. I've had some 2 week and 20-30 day streaks my longest streak was 100 days. Lately I've been acting out pretty frequently, and I want to finally stop for good and never go back to this. I hope that logging my daily experiences will help me and I've never posted on the forum before so i hope in helps. In 18 days I'll start attending a Yeshiva and college in Israel. I hope to be completely clean until then and also after I start the Yeshiva of course. I think something that is very challenging for me is that I am surrounded by the secular lifestyle and hopefully the Yeshiva will help with that. 

I've been clean since this morning and I've been doing a relatively good job at not lusting after women today in the Street. If any of the members have a good battle plan they can share with me I will greatly appreciate it.   ]]>
On the Way to 90-Days Mon, 12 Aug 2019 19:38:36 +0000
Subject: My first bein hazmanim clean - by: Street Hashem I'll post my kabalos/plans sometime today or tomorrow. If you actually made it this far on down my lengthy post I appreciate it and he you have any ha'aros let me know. If there are any bochurim who want to join and help hold of accountable I'm sure that would help. ]]> On the Way to 90-Days Wed, 07 Aug 2019 20:02:10 +0000 Subject: Bumped my head | Rising again! - by: Vetaher1
A little background: I've been around on GYE for over 2 years now and this is the second time only I gave a bump backwards. I have always shied away from posting, due to my quiet nature, this time I don't have another choice, so here me am, it's my day 1 of being clean!
On the Way to 90-Days Wed, 07 Aug 2019 11:32:48 +0000
Subject: From today... until forever! - by: reuvenshimonlevy Welcome to my life. I’ve been an addict for about 3 years now. It’s been tough. Really tough. I don’t like it. I actually hate it! I’ve tried so many times to get out of this, but to no avail. I haven’t been trying to help myself for 3 years, but I’ve been addicted for 3 years. The past year plus, I started to try and help myself. I’ve tried different things which we’ll leave out (cuz quite clearly they didn’t work). I’m now starting my 90 day challenge. And a challenge I’m sure it’ll be! But if I post, I’ll feel more of a responsibility. Obviously just posting is not the answer. I’m also gonna work with the tools given in the GYE handbook and all the tips given here on this site. For today I’m gonna get through it because I’m determined. This determination will not last. I know it won’t. It never does. But for today it will. Cuz today I Davened to Hashem for it to work. And today I’m posting about my challenges. And today I’m gonna win. B’ezras Hashem from today... until forever!

I’ll be back to keep you all posted on my challenge. Hopefully having you all at my side will be extremely helpful!

Thank you all in advance and most of all THANK YOU HASHEM!]]>
On the Way to 90-Days Sun, 04 Aug 2019 14:26:37 +0000
Subject: 90 and counting... - by: Gates
So what am I doing differently this time as opposed to before? Here's a partial list:

1) Full disclosure - in a way,  I "cheated". I had a fairly serious operation about halfway through, so for a chunk of about a month plus, fighting the yetzer hara was really easy. Not a method I'd recommend, but you use the weapons at your disposal. (Yes, B"H, I'm feeling a lot better.)

2) Every day I wake up and say,  "Maybe I'll give in in a month, or next week, or the day after tomorrow, but not today." And I follow through. And I say the same thing the next morning, and the morning after, and the morning after, etc etc. That "one day at a time" thing really works. 

3) I put a really, annoyingly strong filter on my phone. I've already had to "whitelist" some of the most innocent websites imaginable just to do my job, but it's worth it. And it's really too much trouble, not to mention embarrassing, to make a special phone call to whitelist evil websites. Sometimes shame and laziness work well together. 

4) Remember the medrash where Yosef was about to cheat with Potiphar's wife, but he visualized his father's face? When faced with temptation I do something similar,  except the face I visualize is my wife's. Works wonders.

5) Distraction is key. I'll pick up a sefer, take care of something that needs taking care of, make a phone call, read a good book.  Anything but "that".

6) When it comes to seeing young ladies (some not so young) in the street dressed inappropriately,  one of my phone advisors had a great idea. Daven to Hashem that the young lady should have a nice day. For me, having a conversation with the Almighty is about the best way to change that particular topic. 

7) Finally, the chizuk I get from the chevre here is immeasurable. Even though I'm not on every day, just knowing that I'm not alone, that there are other Yidden who are going through the same issues, is beyond amazing. It gives me the reassurance that I'm not a bad person, that I'm not "broken", and that there's hope. And the practical advice available on this site is priceless. Thank you all.

Anyway, I'm forging on, one day at a time. Wish me hatzlacha, rabosai.]]>
On the Way to 90-Days Wed, 31 Jul 2019 08:48:12 +0000