Kunena Site Syndication https://guardyoureyes.com Tue, 19 Mar 2019 19:26:37 +0000 Kunena 1.6 https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/icons/rss.png https://guardyoureyes.com/ en-gb https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339699-Hour-1#339699 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339699-Hour-1#339699

That being said... hour 1.]]> On the Way to 90-Days Fri, 15 Mar 2019 04:10:23 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339699-Hour-1#339699 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339538-with-hashems-help-ill-reach-90-and-keep-going#339538 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339538-with-hashems-help-ill-reach-90-and-keep-going#339538 On the Way to 90-Days Mon, 11 Mar 2019 04:57:03 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339538-with-hashems-help-ill-reach-90-and-keep-going#339538 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339399-Wet-dreams#339399 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339399-Wet-dreams#339399 On the Way to 90-Days Tue, 05 Mar 2019 07:18:37 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339399-Wet-dreams#339399 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339376-Life-after-90-days#339376 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339376-Life-after-90-days#339376 What I want to write about is something that I've been slowly and painfully realizing since I reached 90 days. I don't want to write about the journey to 90 days, I want to talk about what happens after 90 days is reached. Taking on the 90 day challenge is a beautiful thing. It's an admirable goal to want to give up something that you know is destroying your life, your relationships with people, Hashem, and yourself, and to want to be just a "tefach hecher." When you're holding at 1 day, 3 days, 1 week, 3 weeks, 60 days, etc. it's something to admirably work towards.
But then 90 days is reached and then...now what? For me, this unsettling and slightly terrifying realization began to kick in: living a sober life. Living a sober life is an amazing thing, but for many of us, pornography was a central part of our life, might I dare say, one of the best things in our lives. Why else would we throw away perfectly good marriages, relationships, jobs, etc. for something if we weren't absolutely love-drunk on it? I'll be honest, I miss pornography, I miss the thrill of "tasting forbidden fruit", and it's weird to say it since it is the strongest poison I could possibly put into my neshama. I know that I cannot live a life worth living so long as I am actively using pornography. I also know that there are many people with many years clean and at some point, we need to stop romanticizing the struggle and just live a sober life.

Something that I have learned and am taking from my time leading up to 90 days into my post-90 days life is this: the real work begins once I reach 90 days. It's like the yidden when they left mitzrayim, it was then that they began to avodah of sefiras haomer, of bettering themselves. I know that I have so much internal work to do and BH I have enough distance for the actual averia to be able to do the work. It's not about another taphsic or another level in the wall of honor, it's about doing the honest work that I know I can put in, not worrying about others and making sure that I am held accountable and honest in my relationship with Hashem. Check out the recent post from Dov about why rabbis hate on 12-steps so much, it's so honest, refreshing, true...it's a perspective that we really need. No more fake life. Showing off how frum I am is just as much a fake life if not even MORE of a fake life than the fantasy I would get from pornography. No one said it would be easy, but it's the path of truth. If it's true, then there really is no other way. Sooner or later, we need to follow it.]]> On the Way to 90-Days Mon, 04 Mar 2019 21:59:41 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339376-Life-after-90-days#339376 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339268-after-90#339268 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339268-after-90#339268 On the Way to 90-Days Wed, 27 Feb 2019 01:44:28 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/339268-after-90#339268