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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Chizzuk! 6171 Views

Re: Chizzuk! 01 Jun 2009 11:15 #5524

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Your name is EMES for good reason. With your honesty, you will beat this!

BTW. You may not have to consider this a fall. See rule #8 on this page.

You have a lot of inner strength, in that you didn't let this slip cause you to act out fully. That is a very good sign.

Also, by learning from our mistakes, we uplift them to Kedusha. Sheva yipol tzadik ve'kam. Through the falls, we learn experience and are able to make progress.

You have a great attitude. Make sure to read the handbooks...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Chizzuk! 01 Jun 2009 12:50 #5526

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I should elaborate what happened. I was watching a movie when an inappropriate image came on screen (in the background) and I continued watching. The image went away after about 20 seconds. Obviously, I should have turned off/changed the channel, but after re-reading the rules I think this would be considered a 'slip' and not a 'fall'.

If you agree, guardureyes, please re-instate me to where I had reached.

I hope I will be able to avoid even such a 'slip' in the future.
Last Edit: by Rikki.

Re: Chizzuk! 01 Jun 2009 14:04 #5530

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one of the symptoms of lust addiction is that no matter how hard we are working on ourselves, and no matter how long we have been clean, if we are faced head-on with lust, as you were on the TV, it will be almost impossible to stop ourselves from lusting. That is why we have to make so many fences for ourselves in the area of Shmiras Ainayim. Much more than normal people. If you are serious about beating this addiction, TV will have to go eventually. It is full to the brim of lust triggers. Please read well Tool #2 on the GYE handbook...
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by sonoftheking.

Re: Chizzuk! 01 Jun 2009 17:22 #5541

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Emes, don't be so hard on yourself. It's good that you recognize that you were lusting and that ideally you should not be. However, it is my opinion that the voice telling you that you need to start counting over because you saw an image in a movie and didn't change the channel is your YH talking. Once you restart the count, the YH can tell you that you may as well give in "just once" because you are restarting your count anyhow. Think carefully when you have a sudden urge towards extreme piety. Are you really all that pious, or is there a sinister motivation behind it? The YH is very smart you know...
Last Edit: by workingonteshuvah.

Re: Chizzuk! 01 Jun 2009 19:55 #5545

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Emes,

Keep strong - the Y"H's Modus operandi is to blow our aveiros out of proportion so that we'll give up.  Notice, however, that before we do the aveira, the Y"H doesn't say anything to stop us.  Only after we've done the aveira does he become "Frum," and starts magnifying it with an electron microscope. 

Ano - my point above basically reiterates your post, which so much rings true.  After my longest period of sobriety in recent times (18 months), I briefly looked at a woman in Walmart, then I could not resist taking a second (and maybe third) look.  Of course, my behavior was inappropriate.  However, I wish I would have had the basic vocabulary to differentiate between a "slip" and a "fall" - it would have been very helpful.  As it was, this incident caused me to fall completely.  Because I did not have an Internet filter at the time, there was nothing at all to even cushion my fall.
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by .

Re: Chizzuk! 01 Jun 2009 22:48 #5566

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Like Ano and Kedusha said, you MUST listen at least to this 5 minute clip.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Needhelpstien.

Re: Chizzuk! 02 Jun 2009 15:04 #5594

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I just watched this interview.

Absolutely terrifying!

I hope I never forget it.
Last Edit: 02 Jun 2009 15:42 by sinnedinvain.

Re: Chizzuk! 02 Jun 2009 15:29 #5595

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Dear Emes,

I clicked on the link, and was able to access the video.  I watched it for a couple of minutes, and hope to see it when I have the chance.

Here's the problem: I have my Internet filter set to block Google Video.  Indeed, if I try to access Google Video from Google's home page, I am unable to do so.  Somehow, however, your link got me to Google Video - my filter was unable to stop it.  I have fallen greatly in the past with Google Video, as you can imagine.  Although my filter limits me to "Safesearch," I can still get into a great deal of trouble with Google Video.

I, therefore, need to ask you a favor, Emes.  Please modify your message and remove the link.  Put in this link instead: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Tips/SealofTruth.asp, which my filter is able to block (I can access that page, but it won't allow me to get to Google Video). 

Thank you very much - I hope you do this as soon as possible before I stumble, Chas v'Shalom.  If Emes does not see this message soon, perhaps R. Guard can make the change, or someone else with administrative privileges.  TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.  I will delete the information from my browser's history, so I won't be able to get to it.

Thank you very much - Tizke L'Mitzvos!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: 02 Jun 2009 15:53 by kedosha.

Re: Chizzuk! 02 Jun 2009 15:44 #5597

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DONE.

It's good you let us know about the test. This already puts some good "accountability" in place to prevent you from falling :-)
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by kedosha.

Re: Chizzuk! 02 Jun 2009 15:54 #5598

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Yes, indeed - thank you very much!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by teshuvahgemurah .

Re: Chizzuk! 03 Jun 2009 06:40 #5640

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Dear Kedusha,

I am mortified that I circumvented your filter. I wanted to share some yiras shamayim, not be poretz geder.

I am so sorry I was a michshol to you. Thank you to guard for rectifying the post.

I will have to think far more carefully about what I link to in the forum.

Emes
Last Edit: by MendelZ.

Re: Chizzuk! 03 Jun 2009 13:59 #5651

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Dear Emes,

It's all right, you had no way of knowing that it would be a problem.  Indeed, I have no idea why your link circumvented my filter - after all, my filter does not allow me to access Google Video from the Google homepage, so why would your link be different?  Anyway, Boruch Hashem, I stayed calm and was not Nichshol.  I did not want to lose 15 (now 16) days of sobriety.  I simply described the problem, went on an errand, and by the time I returned, R. Guard had already fixed it (as I know you would have as soon as you discovered the problem).

Kol Tuv - Chazak v'Ematz!
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: by Kosher_Eyes.

Re: Chizzuk! 07 Jun 2009 10:47 #5840

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I updated your chart, Emes, to 18 days (based on your last reply on June 2). Please send an e-mail to wallofhonor@gmail.com each Friday / motzai Shabbos so we can update you easier...

Keep up the good work!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by owierhtoi.

Re: Chizzuk! 09 Jun 2009 14:55 #5968

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Shidduchim looked pretty exciting in theory. I imagined I had plenty to offer some fine young maidel - years in Yeshivah, a Bachelors degree, a gentle nature, and devastating good looks ;D. Apparently they also expect conversation.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Chizzuk! 09 Jun 2009 21:14 #5986

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HAHA Emes,
I feel the exact same way about shidduchim, even though I am single and am not going to be dating for a nice amount of time. I'm great on paper, but a batter who was 5/5 against a particular pitcher still may strike out against that pitcher the next time...
I guess the paper doesn't mean too much when you actually have to perform. I just realized that we can apply that to the addiction as well. Sometimes we are tempted to think that we will CERTAINLY fall because we have so many times in the past. Instead we should be like that pitcher. Even though the batter he is facing may be 5/5 or 10/10 against him in the past, he is still completely confident that he can strike him out. That's my baseball vort of the day. Hope you enjoyed :D
Last Edit: by Whyme.
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