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For the bochrim by the bochrim
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: For the bochrim by the bochrim 11918 Views

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 14 Oct 2022 15:45 #386493

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I think I’m going to take an extended break from gye. I’m using it to much as a crutch, so good bye for now. I hope i stay strong throughout. (I’m gonna try g-d willing until Chanukah unless I think I’m gonna fall if i don’t go on)
-ftc
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum
Last Edit: 14 Oct 2022 16:19 by DeletedUser1224.

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 16 Oct 2022 14:17 #386512

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If you see this, for asking your parents to put on a filter, you can tell them you were talking to someone to encourage them to get a filter on their device, and that person has a challenge with looking at inappropriate things, or wasting time. And in order to help him, you made a deal that you will also ask your parents to put a filter on devices... And you can actually do that... They won't suspect a thing

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 16 Oct 2022 14:18 #386513

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I just want to add, to all the guys out there, get ready for Simchas Torah, a big spiritual high can also be a challenge for us. Be aware and try not to fall...

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 26 Jan 2023 22:29 #391280

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Face the challenge wrote on 04 Oct 2022 03:25:
Just a quick thought/idea before Yom Kippur (although it really has nothing to do with Yom Kippur):

I’ve been thinking about something for the past few weeks that i wanted to share with everyone. For all of those who have posted about their struggles and successes I think it would be fair to say that you get a lot of chizuk when people respond to your posts, pm you, or even hit the thank you button. If someone tells you that your post has helped them out, it makes you feel on top of the world. In a way it makes it seem ‘worth it’ that you went and/or are going through the struggles because you now have the opportunity to try and help others. At least that’s how I feel, but feel free to disagree.

Now I am definitely as guilty as anyone here when it comes to shopping around the forum and not responding at all…but what if we changed that. What if collectively, we would let someone know when they gave us chizuk and as a result be mechazek them? Think about the positive effect it can make on so many people when they realize how many people that they are effecting. I think the results could be huge. It could lead to so many people feeling more positive about themselves and maybe, just maybe help us all get out of this hole that we are in.

Anyway, lmk if you agree or disagree—but being that I get chizuk from everyone else responding to me, I am going to try and be more careful about letting others know when they are/were mechazek me.

ftc

bump
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).


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Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 26 Jan 2023 23:16 #391283

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Face the challenge wrote on 23 May 2022 02:22:
As I near my 50th day clean I decided that number one I’m going to share my full story (sorry if it’s a little long) and number two I’m going to start a thread on the forum specifically for bochrim. Why. Because I’m a bachur just like you and I know that the chizuk that you can get from someone who’s in the same situation as you can propel you to new heights. It’s my hope that all the bochrim on GYE will make use fo this thread so that we can get continuous chizuk from each other. Well here goes.


A long time ago…when I was about seven or eight years old I was exposed to porn. It was from my older siblings who are unfortunately otd. Being as young as I was, I “knew” it was wrong but I didn’t really get it. As far as I could tell this is what my older siblings, my role models, were doing in their free time. Of course I wouldn’t ever dream of telling my parents on them. How could I? As time went on I would spend time alone with myself. In my room, in the shower, in the bathroom etc. and I would masturbate. This wasn’t really with bad intentions as I was still to young to really understand the ramifications of what I was doing.

Fast forward a few years and I’m getting bar mitzvah. I get tefillin a new hat, a new suit, and I’m ready to join adulthood. But I still got this secret that no one knows about. (By this time I knew it was wrong to be masturbating and watching porn). I decided that with my bar mitzvah I’m going to stop. A fresh new start for me. I’m sure you can guess what happened. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I continued on in my bad ways for the next two years.

Comes along time for high school and at this point in my life my body is in full lust mode. I decided (with my parents) to go out of town for mesivta so that I wouldn’t be around my siblings for them to have a bad influence me. I’m kinda laughing in the inside because I know it’s too late. It’s not just my siblings who are otd. It’s me. But being that I’m the pride and joy of the family, the “frum” one, I just couldn’t let my parents down. I projected an amazing outside image and I was afraid of anyone finding out what was really going on in the inside. So off to high school I went and these were some of the darkest years in my life. In short my daily routine would be that during shachris I would always be taking my tefillin off, going to the bathroom to masturbate, and then coming back, put my tefillin on and make it seem like nothing had happened. On to shiur, i would sit there fantasizing about all the worst things under the sun and then I would “go to the bathroom” again and masturbate. This is how it went for two years. I didn’t really care about hashem, didn’t care about learning, didn’t really connect to my rebbeim, but all along I was projecting the image of one of the top bachrim in the yeshiva. Mind you for the first two years of high school I only had a phone with talk and text so I couldn’t watch porn while I was in yeshiva but that didn’t stop me from fantasizing, masturbating, and running to the computer every off shabbos the moment that I came home so that I could go find my fantasies and fill my head with videos for the next few weeks.

Then 11th grade hit. I was smart. I ordered a 35 dollar smartphone that would work with my SIM card. No one had to know about it. I would keep my other phone around when I was at home and hand in my dumb phone when I got to yeshiva (after removing the SIM card to put in my smartphone). This was a real treat for me. I finally had access to porn in yeshiva and with that I would lay in my bed every night while my roommates were sleeping and watch and watch and watch until I would masturbate, fall asleep, and repeat the next day. But don’t forget. I’m still a top bachur who  people in yeshiva look up to.
Fast forward a few months and I’m in 12th grade. I got a moment of inspiration.  I decided that I really need to pull my life together. I couldn’t continue on like this. I was ruining my life and I knew it. I smashed my smartphone. It felt great. I felt like I had just won my life back and with that I started anew. I was on top of the world. This was the new me. Ready to change once and for all. And that lasted until I went home for the next off shabbos upon which i encountered a whole hose filled with unfiltered devices and I didn’t even last an hour. I was a goner. I felt horribly guilty. How could I go back to watching porn and masturbating?? I had just smashed my smartphone. What happened to me. I made a kabala/promise that I would never do it again. As I’m sure you already know this didn’t last to long. I repeated this process of falling and repeating to promise for the whole year. It was horrible. I knew that I would never be able to get out of this vicious cycle but that didn’t stop me from making promise after promise after promise. I was the biggest rasha in the world, but the pride and joy of my parents. Their son, their from son who made them so proud of his learning in yeshiva. He was such a tzadik and they got so much nachas. I’m sure you can imagine the pain that I went through at these times. There’s nothing like someone praising you while you know that you are really the most horrible person to walk the planet. (And of course I think I’m the only one who’s struggling…).

I decide to go to Israel for yeshiva. This time I was going to do it right. I got a strict kosher phone and went off to yeshiva. I started getting turned on to Judaism in a way that I had never felt before. I was really connecting. That Elul in first year I shteiged so much. I was clean from p and m for the whole zman. I had heartfelt tefilos on rosh hashana and Yom Kippur and I was sure that this time I really made it. (If you are still reading this-thank you(-: ) I really had sincere tshuva and I promised hashem that i was done. And I really meant it. But then bein hazmanim hit in Israel. With no structure and a hot climate I slowly but surely started slipping. I was outside and would stare a little to long at the girls walking by. I would go to the separate beaches but on the way there I made sure to feast my eyes on the coed beach. There was nothing rationale about what I was doing and I knew it. But I didn’t stop. I fell. I fell hard and this just made me sink down into  a deeper feeling of guilt. I had just come off of my best Yom Kippur davening and I was right back to where I started. I recommitted to winter zman and I shteiged alot. Mind you I would fall here and there but I was in a much better place then when I got to yeshiva. Fast forward to pesach break. Im sitting in the airport trying my best not to look around at all the unclad people there. I had not been exposed to immodestly dressed women since sukkos and I was able to a pretty good job at guarding my eyes. I felt accomplished. I said to myself that this vacation I’m going to do it. I’m going to pass by without falling into the trap of the yetzer hara. I won’t watch porn. I’m not going to masturbate. I was on guard the whole flight home and I felt accomplished. I really did a good job.

I get home and I’m exhausted so I tell my parents good night and head up to my room to go to sleep. Then I see it. I see an iPod touch in my room and I say to myself don’t do it. Don’t pick it up. Just go to sleep and feel good in the morning. But then my “yetzer tov” spoke up. “Remember that shiur that you were listening to on YouTube from that rabbi that you really liked hearing. Why don’t you find another shiur from him and listen to it until you fall asleep. There’s nothing better then listening to torah while falling asleep…” So I picked it up and got down to listening to a shiur. As I go scrolling through the videos looking for some more shiurim to listen to I end up flying past several extremely immodestly dressed women. Be it advertising or the ‘next video suggestion’ but whatever it is it triggers me. I eventually decide that there’s nothing wrong with getting a little entertainment so I go on AGT to watch some magicians. To put it simply the judges aren’t dressed to the standards of a bas yisrael. It escalated very quickly from there and before I knew it I was typing in my favorite porn site to the browser. I told myself don’t do it. Stop. But all rationale thought was gone. I fell. I fell real bad. For the rest of break I fell a few times a day. And I would keep promising myself that it would stop. But it never worked. I dug myself deeper and deeper into my hole and I was got super depressed.
In short this is what happened for the rest of my years in Israel. I would be mostly fine during the zman with a fall here and there and then bein hazmanim I was done for. I’m sure this is familiar to you. But the hardest part for me wasn’t the falls. It was much worse. It was the fact that I was my parents nachas. Their pride and joy that they have a frum child who likes learning. All they would ever see is their son who’s growing and growing. And when they would give me a bracha on Friday night I knew that there were always thinking of my older siblings and how they were so proud that they at least had me. I was ashamed. Mortified. I couldn’t believe how I deceived them. But this wasn’t the only problem that came about from my p and m habits. As a result of my “addiction” I would never have real conversations with Rebbeim. I had no connection to them. I just felt that I wasn’t worthy to talk to them. I had no one in my life that I could talk to. I was all alone with no way out from porn. To further bring on the pain, while I watched my friends grow in their learning and grow yiras hashem, I watched myself sit on the sidelines because I never had really invested into my learning and I could see the gap getting bigger and bigger. This is what I came home to after being in Israel for a few years.

These feelings of being all alone in the world while everyone thought that I was a top guy who’s ready to become something big. It was comical how many people were telling me that I should go into shidduchim. I just pushed them away saying that I wanted a few more years to learn while in truth i needed a few more years to put my life together.

This past bein hazmanim I fell in one of the worst ways that I could. I went to a level that I had never gone to before and I’m to embarrassed to say what i did. But it was bad. And I was so depressed and angry at myself. Immediately after my fall I talked to hashem. I said to him that I’m not going to ask forgiveness. I had played that game to many times. I said that I was going to commit to find a way out and only after I had done something different, something to show that this wasnt the same me who was asking forgiveness and making more empty promises, only then I would ask for forgiveness. For a way to start again. I went on to google and I started searching for people who had broken free from porn addictions.

It’s been 49 days since I discovered gye that night. And I’ve been clean since. I would sit there for hours reading the forum of all the people who were going through the same exact struggles as me. It was so comforting hearing people over and over and over describing the same exact issues that I had. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t the only one. I used all the free time that I used to watch porn and instead just kept going back onto gye. (I clocked in over 40 hours in one week which would have otherwise probably been used for porn.) Bh I slowly started pulling myself out of the muck that I was in. I made real safeguards for myself in the areas that I used to slip the most and I’ve been focusing all my efforts in making sure that the yetzer hara doesn’t get his foot in the door because I know that if he does I won’t win. (I’ll post later what these included…) I eventually got on the phone after 5 days of internal struggle back and forth with myself and back and forth again. I called HHM to get help. I wanted to know what else I should know to make sure I wouldn’t fall back into this problem. He is so knowledgeable and gave me over an hour on the phone. I can’t thank him enough for the time he gave me or for the encouragement and inspiration to keep going. He put everything that I was doing into a real life perspective and made me realize that I can really do this.

I’m here in yeshiva in America now and while i still struggle in that my learning abilities are behind my friends, and I don’t yet have a strong relationship with rebbeim, I take comfort in the fact that I’m putting my life together again one day at a time. I’ll move onto to figure out the other areas of my life later. I got to go one step at time. Ones day at a time. Im sure with hashems help I’ll get there. It’s been a journey of 14-15 years but I hope and pray that this is the last stop. 

To hashem. I haven’t asked forgiveness since 49 days ago because I knew that I had to come and show that I was different. Is 49 days clean good enough. Will I be forgiven? I can only beg of you to forgive me and help me fight every single day to face this challenge. I know it’s not going to be easy but I’m doing this for you. I want to get a real connection to you. Please let me come back.

To all my friends at gye. You guys are what kept me going this whole time. Never stop posting and giving chizuk to others. You don’t know who you can impact. It doesn’t matter if people don’t always respond. There will always be people like me who are reading your posts to get chizuk and fight our yetzer hara. 
to gye-you are angels sent from heaven to help us all come back to hashem. May hashem give you much success in helping many others out of their situation.

You are an amazing guy. You ARE your parent’s nachas. Look at how hard you have been fighting. All alone for so long. You never gave up in all those years. You are NOT your nisayon. That is not what I see. I see a holy bachur who got caught at a very early age in a trap that is incredibly difficult to escape. But you are doing it. You are pulling yourself out. Every clean day is a win. No fall can negate those wins. Keep going. You will eventually kick this. I feel the fire in your belly. You will succeed. Right, guys? Here, we have a winner! Hatzlacha. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m really pulling for you to see amazing success.

TG. 

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 27 Jan 2023 01:47 #391290

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OivedElokim wrote on 26 Jan 2023 22:29:

Face the challenge wrote on 04 Oct 2022 03:25:
Just a quick thought/idea before Yom Kippur (although it really has nothing to do with Yom Kippur):

I’ve been thinking about something for the past few weeks that i wanted to share with everyone. For all of those who have posted about their struggles and successes I think it would be fair to say that you get a lot of chizuk when people respond to your posts, pm you, or even hit the thank you button. If someone tells you that your post has helped them out, it makes you feel on top of the world. In a way it makes it seem ‘worth it’ that you went and/or are going through the struggles because you now have the opportunity to try and help others. At least that’s how I feel, but feel free to disagree.

Now I am definitely as guilty as anyone here when it comes to shopping around the forum and not responding at all…but what if we changed that. What if collectively, we would let someone know when they gave us chizuk and as a result be mechazek them? Think about the positive effect it can make on so many people when they realize how many people that they are effecting. I think the results could be huge. It could lead to so many people feeling more positive about themselves and maybe, just maybe help us all get out of this hole that we are in.

Anyway, lmk if you agree or disagree—but being that I get chizuk from everyone else responding to me, I am going to try and be more careful about letting others know when they are/were mechazek me.

ftc

bump

FAKE


















It’s a virtual Bump.
A real bump is if you can actually “Face” our friend “FTC”.

Are you up for the Challenge? 

Disclaimer. We would have to verify first that he’s a safe gye (unfortunately trust has been compromised, and I would check out a gye before meeting live, many old timers here are - maybe ask the management.

I have met quite a few and there’s NOTHING like it. As Dov says - this forum and chat is fake, but can be a good springboard.

KOT!
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 27 Jan 2023 12:25 #391310

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Markz wrote on 27 Jan 2023 01:47:

OivedElokim wrote on 26 Jan 2023 22:29:

Face the challenge wrote on 04 Oct 2022 03:25:
Just a quick thought/idea before Yom Kippur (although it really has nothing to do with Yom Kippur):

I’ve been thinking about something for the past few weeks that i wanted to share with everyone. For all of those who have posted about their struggles and successes I think it would be fair to say that you get a lot of chizuk when people respond to your posts, pm you, or even hit the thank you button. If someone tells you that your post has helped them out, it makes you feel on top of the world. In a way it makes it seem ‘worth it’ that you went and/or are going through the struggles because you now have the opportunity to try and help others. At least that’s how I feel, but feel free to disagree.

Now I am definitely as guilty as anyone here when it comes to shopping around the forum and not responding at all…but what if we changed that. What if collectively, we would let someone know when they gave us chizuk and as a result be mechazek them? Think about the positive effect it can make on so many people when they realize how many people that they are effecting. I think the results could be huge. It could lead to so many people feeling more positive about themselves and maybe, just maybe help us all get out of this hole that we are in.

Anyway, lmk if you agree or disagree—but being that I get chizuk from everyone else responding to me, I am going to try and be more careful about letting others know when they are/were mechazek me.

ftc

bump

FAKE


















It’s a virtual Bump.
A real bump is if you can actually “Face” our friend “FTC”.

Are you up for the Challenge? 

Disclaimer. We would have to verify first that he’s a safe gye (unfortunately trust has been compromised, and I would check out a gye before meeting live, many old timers here are - maybe ask the management.

I have met quite a few and there’s NOTHING like it. As Dov says - this forum and chat is fake, but can be a good springboard.

KOT!

hhm --verified safe :-)
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 27 Jan 2023 14:45 #391314

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HB 2?
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Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 01 Feb 2023 04:09 #391441

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FACE THE CHALLENGE, NICE TO SEE YOU BACK. 

How’s life in general. Are things looking up for you?
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 01 Feb 2023 04:16 #391443

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It's been a really long time since I posted last and I've been going through some big ups and downs over these last few months. I figured I would share an update of how things are going.

I fell into a really bad rut a while back for about two weeks and I felt like I lost all the progress that I made so far. It was by far the worst I've done in years... That culminated with me taking a neder upon myself to tell my father what was going on and that he should filter my house. It took me about a week of back and forth in my head until I finally worked up the courage to sit down and write a letter to him explaining what was going on. That was probably the hardest thing that I've ever had to do in my life. Baruch Hashem he took it very well and filtered down our house, changed the network password, etc. I felt on top of the world. It was a liberating feeling, I only wished that I had done it sooner. Learning started going well for me and for the first time in a while I had the hope again that this time it would be different. However that was not to be the case.

I had a smartphone for a while now that was locked up by my father. I helped him configure the settings because I knew what I knew how to get around and what I didn't know. It was locked down really tight and all was going well until I decided to give it a go at guessing the code and lo and behold I figured it out. That spelled really bad news for me and again for a bunch of days I just slipped up and continued to fall. After a particularly bad fall I had enough (again) and decided that I needed time on my own to figure out my priorities without any distractions and I made the choice right then and there to take my sim-card out of my phone and I broke it in half. Now I didn't have a phone that I could use, I didn't know the wifi password, and I was pretty much guaranteed to be safe at home. So for the last five weeks or so I've been phoneless and it's been the greatest most feeling out there. I've been totally disconnected from the world and I've been steadily working on myself to get the distractions out of my life and make learning my go-to activity and it has been working well for about five weeks. (For those of you who I've not been in touch with (and you know who you are) I'm sorry for not giving any forewarning to being out of touch. It was a decision that I made in the moment and didn't have time to explain what was going on.)

Anyway, all was going great until I made a decision (which was really stupid) to go somewhere on vacation for a few days. I knew in the back of my mind that this was a disastrous idea but I chose to ignore it. I compromised on all of my standards, ended up at a water park, watching tv and movies, and eventually sneaking out in middle of the night to take a phone that belonged to someone else in the family...and the rest is history. So that was a really rough few days for me especially coming off of a high for so many good weeks of immersing myself in torah.

To make matters worse, I figured out a way to get an old laptop in my house connected to the internet even though I don't know the password (not going into any details because I don't want to give any ideas to someone else) and managed to fall again within a few hours of being home. And that's where I'm writing this from.

I'm at my wits end not knowing what to do with myself anymore. I can go weeks upon weeks without doing anything bad only to lose it all as soon as I'm around any device with open internet. My only defense is when I have absolutely no access to anything, but somehow I just keeping finding new ways and I feel like I'm hopeless because there will always be another way to access something bad. I think that I need to start seeing a therapist/psychologist but I haven't worked up the courage yet. Anyway that's it for now. I still won't have a phone or email access until at least next week, and I hope I will be able to recheck what's going on here.
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 01 Feb 2023 04:44 #391446

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For the benefit of anyone who may have the courage to reach out to their parents and let them know about filtering the devices etc., I've decided to post the letter that I wrote to my father here. (Feel free to copy it if you need an idea of how to say it over to your parents):

"Dear Abba,
I don't know exactly how to say this so you'll have to bear with me for a little bit. Over the last five years I've had a major change in my life. I became turned on to tefilah, torah, and Judaism in general. I've seen myself growing tremendously and I'm sure you've seen the changes as well. This is all thanks to you and Imma for your continued support and letting me learn in yeshiva. For that I will be forever grateful and this is not a sufficient thank you. However, I've also had something along the way which has been impairing my growth and that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

There's a gemara in kedushin which I'm sure you are familiar with that talks about a story where there were captured women that were brought to rav amram chasida and he stuck them in his attic. He then had the ladder removed so that he would not be able to be secluded with them. But as one of them passed by he saw how beautiful she was and had such a strong desire to be with her, that he managed to move the ladder which normally took ten people to lift and moved it to the attic so that he could go up. When he was halfway up the ladder he yelled out that there was a fire in his house so that the neighbors would come running and he would be embarrassed and refrain from doing the aveira. The rabanan came and said to him "you have put us to shame" to which he famously replied "better to be ashamed in this world than to be shamed in the next world which is eternal."

There are two points that I'm taking out of the story. The first is that we see how strong desire is and that it affects everyone. Secondly, it's better to embarrassed in this world then the next world. I have come to the point where I've realized that it's better for me to be embarrassed in this world then the next. So here goes...

The problem that I've been dealing with is misappropriate use with the internet. I've had this struggle for a while with lots varying degrees of success. I have worked on myself quite a lot in this area and have had people who have been guiding me along this process. I've tried many different tactics and am in a far better place than I was a few years ago, however, I've come to realize with absolute certainty that I'm not Yosef Hatzadik. it's simply to hard for me to beat my yetzer hara head on. I just won't win. I'm come to the absolute recognition that if I'm in the vicinity of unlocked/unfiltered devices, I going to keep failing. Therefore I'm asking of you to please change the password on all tablets, laptops, computers etc. in the house and not keep even one around that I can get to because I know myself and I know my yetzer hara and I know that I won't be able to overcome it. This si teh only way out for me and the only way I see myself becoming successful in this area. This is my last chance.

If you are angry or disappointed with me I fully understand and I'm willing to bear the consequences of my actions, but nevertheless I felt that I needed to say this. This letter admittedly is probably the hardest thing I've every had to do in my life. No child ever want to disappoint their parents, especially in this way. You have provided me with everything that I can ask for and have tried nonstop to help me grow into a Ben Torah. I'm forever indebted to you and that I would go behind your back for so long and not tell you makes me feel horrible and for that I'm truly sorry. The only thing I wihs that would have went differently though is that I would have had the courage to you earlier in life.

Through making our home a safe environment for me, hashem should give you and imma siyata dishmaya and hatzlacha for many more years to come and I hope that you will be able to have true Nachas from me and the rest of your children. Thank you and I'm sorry."

(I've done a little editing on some of the details, but this is more or less the raw letter that I wrote. Bh my father took it very well. I hope that posting this may give someone else the courage to make the big leap and help them in their own homes.)
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 01 Feb 2023 05:14 #391448

  • Markz
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I see a thank you button. Ok I’ll click that.

There should really be a Like button option.

And for something like your latest post there needs to be a Hug button!

Mr Dev - Where did it go????
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Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 01 Feb 2023 17:46 #391469

  • ybird
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I use that story in a different way,  i would rather be embarrassed of my boss seeing that I'm on GYE looking for chizzuk, rather than being caught searching for loopholes
*** READ THIS***
You may see a low number of clean days, but don't forget to add 700 days to it, YES! you're reading it well, Seven Hundred plus  amount of days

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 05 Feb 2023 05:22 #391590

frank.lee wrote on 16 Oct 2022 14:17:
If you see this, for asking your parents to put on a filter, you can tell them you were talking to someone to encourage them to get a filter on their device, and that person has a challenge with looking at inappropriate things, or wasting time. And in order to help him, you made a deal that you will also ask your parents to put a filter on devices... And you can actually do that... They won't suspect a thing

If there’s anyone that needs a device filtered, please reach out to me privately, I have an anonymous sponsor, who is interested in filtering devices for whoever needs, but is unable to for any which reason
Hi, my name is ILH and I’m grateful for having to focus just on today. 
Easy does it... I don't need to be perfect. 
If you figured out my identity, don't be shy, come say hi! 
It takes tons of courage to fight the good fight, but we don't have to do it all alone. 
My Story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/385922-My-Story-Being-Honest-For-Once

Re: For the bochrim by the bochrim 06 Feb 2023 18:11 #391665

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Hi FTC!
Im really glad to hear from you! Its been a while and i missed you. 
Im happy to hear that you had the courage to stand up and talk to your dad, i imagine it must have been very difficult. I never want to have that discussion with my dad........ 
Anyway, I feel your pain and the struggle, the only advise i can give you now is to start learning from the F2F program, there you will learn ways how to fight smarter not harder, you will know how to just walk away from desire. it has helped me tremendously!  
Regarding therapy- If you are serious, then look into a good frum therapist that understand this subject. Not all of them do. 
But if you are not ready yet, then first do teh F2F program, do it slowly, you will find out a lot about yourself and you will know if you want to pursue therapy afterwards and also what type of therapy you enjoy the most! Good luck in everything! 
Please dont run away from us again, we need your energy!!!
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