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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Square one 4190 Views

Re: Square one 15 Mar 2021 21:54 #365440

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Spoke to a friend tonight about this for the first time. 
Also acted out again

Re: Square one 15 Mar 2021 22:25 #365443

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That’s a brave move.
Opening up to someone you know already is very difficult. I’ve only done it once...
Hope you can brush yourself off, rise up again and keep fighting.
Wishing you much success!
OE
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
- Arthur Ashe
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: Square one 16 Mar 2021 21:36 #365542

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Day 1
BH clean

Re: Square one 16 Mar 2021 22:01 #365546

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 15 Mar 2021 21:54:
Spoke to a friend tonight about this for the first time. 
Also acted out again

Where these 2 related?

Re: Square one 16 Mar 2021 22:03 #365547

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 16 Mar 2021 21:36:
Day 1
BH clean

. If you are near by, come by for a l'chaim...

Re: Square one 17 Mar 2021 16:19 #365603

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"Striving Avreich" post=365546 date=1615932071 catid=4

"Looking_to_improve" post=365440 date=1615845270 catid=4Spoke to a friend tonight about this for the first time.Also acted out againWhere these 2 related?

Not quite sure what you mean? Perhaps to a small degree, we did speak a bit about how it's a common and normal struggle, but I don't think that point alone would have justified it for me

"Striving Avreich" post=365547 date=1615932225 catid=4"Looking_to_improve" post=365542 date=1615930605 catid=4Day 1BH clean. If you are near by, come by for a l'chaim...

Thanks for the offer, but it's not a big achievement for me

Re: Square one 17 Mar 2021 21:40 #365614

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Day 2

BH a busy, clean day

Re: Square one 18 Mar 2021 22:00 #365689

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Day 3

BH another clean day

Re: Square one 20 Mar 2021 22:42 #365744

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Day 5
BH I'm clean
Hope you all had a great shabbos
Last Edit: 20 Mar 2021 22:43 by Looking_to_improve.

Re: Square one 21 Mar 2021 02:49 #365759

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Amazing!
Keep the momentum going!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Square one 21 Mar 2021 13:56 #365778

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 20 Mar 2021 22:42:
Day 5
BH I'm clean
Hope you all had a great shabbos

Ok! Here we go again, back in a healthy pattern. Please reach out to us as soon as, or even before the going gets rough. You did this already and you definitely can do it again. Yes it's hard, but it's so beautiful. Yes it seems like you are giving up such intense pleasure, but it's a sham. It may feel like you NEED it put it's false. Everything good is hard work, but definitely worth it.

Shape the rest of your life as one of control and discipline. Continue to become the man you are, not a child or a sophisticated animal.
Live with true freedom and love of life and rid yourself of today's world, which doesn't deserve the respect of being called mankind.

Maybe try posting more detailed posts. I don't know why, but when I write or discuss these issues in greater detail, it serves as a bucket of ice water on burning fires.

Hatzlacha! 

Re: Square one 21 Mar 2021 22:20 #365837

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"Grant400" post=365778 date=1616335010 catid=4

Please reach out to us as soon as, or even before the going gets rough...
...Maybe try posting more detailed posts. I don't know why, but when I write or discuss these issues in greater detail, it serves as a bucket of ice water on burning fires.

I've been feeling a lack of willpower and motivation recently, so haven't been in the mood to write long posts. And when I do, I'm not good at conveying my feelings. Sometimes I try to give a honest recounting of my day, but I'm told I'm being harsh on myself, when I know that's not my intention.
I feel like I have a healthy approach to this struggle, I think there's diminishing returns in what I post at this point. I feel like it's up to me now to carry out what I know.
I struggle to have the frame of mind to reach out when I'm struggling. In the past, like by my last fall, I did reach out, but I started to ignore the guy who I was messaging.
I guess overall, even though I have people I message, I still feel alone in this struggle. I don't really know why I post anymore, as opposed to just updating my daily count
Last Edit: 21 Mar 2021 22:22 by Looking_to_improve.

Re: Square one 22 Mar 2021 13:44 #365872

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You are not alone in this struggel!! You are an important part of GYE, posting and giving chizuk to other people. We need you!! You have us all. Send me a PM to talk if want.

Your brother who loves you

Re: Square one 22 Mar 2021 18:49 #365887

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Feeling an urge to masturbate now. I already had a 30 min chavrusa and dinner since it began, but not much has changed. I'm gonna go for a walk with a friend soon, but I'm alone at the moment until he gets back and we leave.

Re: Square one 22 Mar 2021 18:58 #365888

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Please don't do it!!
Seriously we all care for you.
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread
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