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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Square one 4192 Views

Re: Square one 15 Apr 2021 22:06 #366907

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Am I even putting any effort into this anymore?

Re: Square one 15 Apr 2021 22:32 #366909

Thats something you might honestly have to ask yourself, but in my opinion : Yes! You're still updating us on this site. You're being completely honest with how you're doing so we can try to help you. Speaking of helping, I have something you can try. I saw a post of yours recently where you said you might mb later. That tells me that you can figure out ahead of time if you're going to fall or not. If that's true, use that to your advantage! If you think you might fall later start coming up with ideas to avoid it. It could be simple things: going out for a quick walk, talking with some friends, avoiding the internet as much as you can etc. Basically, keep yourself as far from falling as possible. I know you've gotten lots of different pieces of advice and maybe you're wondering if it's even worth it to try this one. I'll be honest with you: I don't know. But I do know that you're a true tzaddik who will never give up. You'll take every piece of advice and try it because you never know, that piece of advice could be the last piece of advice you'll ever need. Maybe it doesn't feel like you're putting in the effort right now, and that's OK. Now is your chance to prove to yourself that you are putting in the effort and that you'll never give up. You're always looking to improve! Good luck with everything. You honestly inspire me every time you fall and get back up. I wish I had as much willpower as you do. Take care!

Re: Square one 16 Apr 2021 11:11 #366933

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Fell again this morning...

Re: Square one 18 Apr 2021 22:27 #367034

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Was about to go masturbate, I found an image that made it through my filter.
I messaged my filter company to block the picture, and I'm going to lock my phone for the night after I finish writing this post.
Its taking a lot of willpower to not act out now

Re: Square one 18 Apr 2021 22:37 #367037

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Not easy to do especially once the eyes see the heart wants.

Keep going strong.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Square one 18 Apr 2021 22:40 #367038

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 15 Apr 2021 22:06:
Am I even putting any effort into this anymore?

I think we can say that it seems like you are!
You got this. Give yourself a high five cuz you deserve it.
much hatzlocha!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 11:33 #367076

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BH I didn't masturbate last night, but I didn't feel good after holding back. I went to the bathroom a few mins later and made an asher yoztar with a lot of cavono
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Despite the fact I didn't masturbate, I felt a bit down anyway. I felt a bit frustrated that I'm dealing with this and still struggling to break out of it. Recently I don't feel so guilty when I act out, but I had similar feelings last night even though I didn't.

I haven't given a food description of how I felt, but I'm just surprised that I didn't feel more happy about overcoming a nisoyon for the first time in a while

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 11:39 #367077

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Zedj wrote on 18 Apr 2021 22:40:

Looking_to_improve wrote on 15 Apr 2021 22:06:
Am I even putting any effort into this anymore?

I think we can say that it seems like you are!
You got this. Give yourself a high five cuz you deserve it.
much hatzlocha!

I think I'm going to have to disagree(except last night). A one line post every day is barely putting in much effort, and I've been falling at the first hurdle for a while. I don't think I've tried to change much recently that's had a positive impact on my fight. Even though I changed my filter, I've still masturbated since I got it, albeit with images that are less worse than what I could see before. It's the same me, and I keep on going back to square one
Maybe you guys might want to disagree, but I haven't seen any fruits of this supposed labour that I've put in

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 12:45 #367081

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Have you tried using the taphsic method?

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 15:32 #367095

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thetimeisnow! wrote on 19 Apr 2021 12:45:
Have you tried using the taphsic method?

No, do you have any suggestions for the knas, I don't want to use money (although I guess that's the point of it)

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 16:35 #367096

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For me, I know that I hate running. So, if I do certain things I make myself go on a run. How long I run depends on what thing I do. For example, wasting seed/pornography is a two mile run, sleeping in is a half mile run for every 15 minutes past my alarm. Using my phone past a certain time at night or before praying and studying in the morning is a mile run. What you should use for the knas depends and on what you hate the most. Just make sure that it is something that is possible for you to do. 

What things do you hate to do, but that you also could do if you had to?

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 16:44 #367100

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 19 Apr 2021 15:32:

thetimeisnow! wrote on 19 Apr 2021 12:45:
Have you tried using the taphsic method?

No, do you have any suggestions for the knas, I don't want to use money (although I guess that's the point of it)

Check out the different ideas GYE offered...
https://guardyoureyes.com/tools/taphsic-method?onepage=1
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 21:32 #367118

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Day 4
BH clean, still not feeling so positive about my struggle. Not sure I have what it takes to be clean long term

Re: Square one 19 Apr 2021 23:50 #367133

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I had the same thought a few months ago. I couldn't make it more than three days. Yet, I kept trying and trying and trying, and I started to be able to make it 4 days, then 5, then 6, then 7, then two weeks, then a month. I am working on going longer than a month right now. You can do this, it just requires work!

Re: Square one 20 Apr 2021 21:28 #367185

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Day 5 
Clean bH 
Despite feeling negative over the last few days, I feel like maybe I can make this a long streak beH. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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