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There must be a way
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: There must be a way 3743 Views

Re: There must be a way 18 Oct 2020 11:16 #356369

  • wilnevergiveup
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Hey @Starting, haven't seen much of you the last couple of days. What's goin on?
Check out My thread

Daily Dose of Clarity

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: There must be a way 18 Oct 2020 19:41 #356395

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I have been in quarantine for nearly 2 weeks and don't particularly want my wife to notice me on here...
1 day left.. 


Baruch Hashem the halfway mark is fast approaching or I'm approaching the halfway mark may be more accurate. 

Still having ups and downs but I think that now it's b"h more up than down 
Had one big reward at the 40 day mark which also helped
Feeling pretty good about the way it's going; when I first joined I really didn't expect to reach 44 days so quickly

Thank you all
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 19 Oct 2020 20:07 #356442

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45 days; halfway to 90. 

It's really a good time to reflect but I will have to be brief. 

Not too far back I was working on streaks, 8 days, 10 days, 14 days even 19 days. 
I now see that it is time to move on. 
Now i am breaking free. 
I don't need this stuff. 
I am leading a happy life without it. 
I am happy being a guy who does not have to put up with addiction and bad habits. 

It's not a question of how long I can torture myself for, it's the realisation that a person can change. 

You can become a person who doesn't eat certain hechsherim. 
You can become a person who wears a hat in the street. 
And I, I became a person who does not masturbate. 
Years ago I became a person who does and now I became a person who doesn't. 

And here's the catch; this change did not happen on day 45, it has really been the attitude since day 10 after a particularly powerful phone call with @hhm. I am forever grateful.
There is no need for a healthy person to fall. 
There is no need for a person to cave in to every will and temptation

Once I started using that train even thought, even beshaas nisayon, it's a different game. 

Imagine the feeling of someone who has never done this, when he gets a nisayon, it's a minor one. 
If he has done it once, it's harder but not impossible. He knows the pleasure and doesn't yet see that the pleasure lessens each time, but it's not impossible. 
Only after caving in a few times, does it feel like part of life. 

And I believe that every one of us can convince himself, and it will be a true attitude, that he is a guy who has done it once, and falling is not part of my life. 

If anyone wants to hear more about this or wants to be in touch in general on the phone feel free to pm me for my number 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 23 Oct 2020 04:21 #356598

  • Realestatemogul
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Wow, that really hits home! Thank you for sharing this post and thought. 

I think the most important word you used in the previous post was attitude. The most fundamental part of my journey has been focusing on a healthy and positive attitude. I am not bad, even if I do bad things. I can change, if I want to change. If I lost the battle, it doesn't mean I lost the war. 

A person with a different attitude is a different person! Congrats starting on halfway to 90, but already completely having the attitude of someone at 90! 

Keep up the great work! 

Re: There must be a way 23 Oct 2020 13:32 #356613

starting wrote on 19 Oct 2020 20:07:
45 days; halfway to 90. 

[...]
I don't need this stuff. 
I am leading a happy life without it. 
[...]

That really resonates with me. I have looked to masturbation and as a stress reliever for a long time. Maybe 17-18 years. Since joining GYE last January, I have had a few longer streaks of not masturbating. The conclusion is exactly what you said. "I don't need this stuff." I can deal with whatever is going on for me in a healthy way.

Nice reflection, starting.

Re: There must be a way 23 Oct 2020 14:06 #356616

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Major l'chaim coming up tomorrow as we hit 50 days Iy"h!! 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 29 Oct 2020 05:36 #356850

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55 days
Clocking in. Haven't really posted recently... 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 02 Nov 2020 15:10 #356996

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Had a bit of a rough time last night, y"h found a reason for me to fall. 
There was a problem though, which he didn't reckon with; I don't do that stuff. It's not me. Finished. No. What the heck? What for? 
So I u have a list of things that people like me do aka distractions list and kept busy. 

Simple theory: I don't do x, I do do a, b & c. 

Hatzlocho 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 02 Nov 2020 15:30 #356997

  • Dave M
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starting wrote on 02 Nov 2020 15:10:
Had a bit of a rough time last night, y"h found a reason for me to fall. 
There was a problem though, which he didn't reckon with; I don't do that stuff. It's not me. Finished. No. What the heck? What for? 
So I u have a list of things that people like me do aka distractions list and kept busy. 

Simple theory: I don't do x, I do do a, b & c. 

Hatzlocho 

This is one of the most powerful post I've read in a while.  Short and and straight to the point.  It's not even a discussion point. 

Re: There must be a way 03 Nov 2020 01:12 #357018

  • Hashem Help Me
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starting wrote on 02 Nov 2020 15:10:
Had a bit of a rough time last night, y"h found a reason for me to fall. 
There was a problem though, which he didn't reckon with; I don't do that stuff. It's not me. Finished. No. What the heck? What for? 
So I u have a list of things that people like me do aka distractions list and kept busy. 

Simple theory: I don't do x, I do do a, b & c. 

Hatzlocho 

Wow. Gadlus. This post should be publicized way beyond this forum thread. Starting, time for you to start helping other guys here. 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: There must be a way 10 Nov 2020 20:25 #357255

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67 days
Thank you guys 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 11 Nov 2020 14:34 #357279

  • Grant400
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starting wrote on 10 Nov 2020 20:25:
67 days
Thank you guys 

I wouldn't have thought 68,
Now I feel so much closer to heavens gate,

I used to count days for my streaks,
Now I moved on - graduated to weeks,

It's not a question how long I can take pain,
Now I know I can rewire my brain,

No more battles making me weary,
It boils down to my simple theory,

Two weeks ago I hit "50" and broke free,
Realizing, I don't do X - I do do A, B & C,

Now I know I will continue to coast,
Get ready for 90 - I know I will post,

Thinking of switching from "Starting" to "Progressed",
But I know every day is a brand new test.

--Starting

P.S. I'm sorry for budding in but I was browsing your thread and was inspired! 
I can be reached at: Grant.400@yahoo.com
Last Edit: 11 Nov 2020 14:35 by Grant400.

Re: There must be a way 12 Nov 2020 20:49 #357347

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Grant400 wrote on 11 Nov 2020 14:34:

starting wrote on 10 Nov 2020 20:25:
67 days
Thank you guys 

I wouldn't have thought 68,
Now I feel so much closer to heavens gate,

I used to count days for my streaks,
Now I moved on - graduated to weeks,

It's not a question how long I can take pain,
Now I know I can rewire my brain,

No more battles making me weary,
It boils down to my simple theory,

Two weeks ago I hit "50" and broke free,
Realizing, I don't do X - I do do A, B & C,

Now I know I will continue to coast,
Get ready for 90 - I know I will post,

Thinking of switching from "Starting" to "Progressed",
But I know every day is a brand new test.

--Starting

P.S. I'm sorry for budding in but I was browsing your thread and was inspired! 

Wow wow! You literally took the words out of my mouth! 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
And that delicate reminder at the end

Thinking of switching from "Starting" to "Progressed",
But I know every day is a brand new test.


is exactly the way I think I should be viewing this struggle at the stage I'm at- definitely growing big time but must be on the lookout.

Grant, what you do here is beyond words 
Keep on changing lives OLAAT

The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 13 Nov 2020 04:32 #357375

  • Realestatemogul
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I'm blown away by those words! That is some real creativity and quite impressive! It really incapsulates some crucial ideas - thank you for sharing! 

Keep on progressing at every start!!

Re: There must be a way 13 Nov 2020 06:17 #357381

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70 days!! 

OR 10 weeks as grant would put it in my name.
Amazing! 
To think that just 10 weeks ago I seeing 10 days as near impossible, having rarely held a 10 day streak, b"h I learned of a different perspective about 8 weeks ago. 
It's not about days or weeks, it's about me. 
Me as in a guy who acts differently. I don't need it, I won't do it. 

B"h it's gotten easier and I'm quite careful with avoiding triggers so on to day 71...
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number
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