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There must be a way
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: There must be a way 5144 Views

Re: There must be a way 14 Feb 2021 19:38 #363325

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The next step is realizing that having a "just okay" day - is actually really great! 

Some people say "no news is good news." Sometimes just regular life is a bracha and we need to learn to appreciate how nothing is regular and every day we are alive, breathing and doing Ratzon HAshem it is an AMAZING day!

Re: There must be a way 15 Feb 2021 10:14 #363418

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Realestatemogul wrote on 14 Feb 2021 19:38:
The next step is realizing that having a "just okay" day - is actually really great! 

Some people say "no news is good news." Sometimes just regular life is a bracha and we need to learn to appreciate how nothing is regular and every day we are alive, breathing and doing Ratzon HAshem it is an AMAZING day!

Last 24 hours were really hard

Will take a long time to really appreciate life as it is to call it great but I'm not complaining. 

Wish I would see it your way
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
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Re: There must be a way 15 Feb 2021 10:37 #363419

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Internalizing what REM wrote is key to being successful in all areas of life. Keep in mind that we overstimulated ourselves and our senses in the past. We gave ourselves the message that a typical non-thrilling day, experience, or interaction is "boring" - which is a churban. If we can learn to notice and cherish the beauty of regular life (Rav Avigdor Miller style), and plain interactions, we can reset our brains to normal.....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: There must be a way 16 Feb 2021 20:31 #363523

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Clean
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
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Re: There must be a way 17 Feb 2021 04:49 #363557

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Hey GYE, 

I am going to translate the last message for the rest of the world...

Starting: clean 

Translation: Wow! It is incredible how far I have come! This wasn't specifically an easy day but BH I was able to overcome my challenges and now I have another clean day for my count. I am SOOO happy and thankful! I feel so good and I hope to use this as a springboard to being clean tomorrow!

Re: There must be a way 17 Feb 2021 17:16 #363593

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Todays summary:
Wow! It is incredible how far I have come! This wasn't specifically an easy day but BH I was able to overcome my challenges and now I have another clean day for my count. I am SOOO happy and thankful! I feel so good and I hope to use this as a springboard to being clean tomorrow!

So true, but need to think about it a lot before I can even begin internalising this 
Thanks rem
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 17 Feb 2021 17:18 #363594

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BTW I post those one word accountability posts like while printing papers or in the elavator etc
The plan is to post accountability throughout February Iy"h 

Bit more time today but not much, maybe tomorrow Iy"h 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 18 Feb 2021 16:02 #363687

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 02 Feb 2021 07:15:

starting wrote on 02 Feb 2021 07:04:

I also need more motivation, reminders as to how much I want to be clean. 

I’ve looked up to u since I first came man, so thank You.
As far as motivation, emotions are tough...

We can start here from scratch again, Why is it that you want to be clean?

I have been thinking about this since it was posted. 

I found 2 of my old plans, based on menachemgyes template (smart recovery forum) 
I will read through them and try and summarise them in my next post
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 18 Feb 2021 16:24 #363690

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Plan1 First week of julyPlan 2 Last week of july+ First week of august
Reasons to stay cleanserenity  Calmness  Feel good (sippuk)  Confident Marriage  Kids futureSerenity  Calmness  Feel good (no double life)  Marriage  God
Stepschange to apps only phone filter 3 sec delay before 2nd look 20 minutes before news site 20 min before touching eiver Daily forum accountability  Read plan daily Do something when quiet at work (handbook etc) 3 sec rule Log in to forum before dodgy sites 20 min before touching esp at night Daily forum accountability  Learn/read when quiet
Importance88
Confidence77
It's working when20 minutes is enough to overcome the urge Otherwise it's too much the front of my mind and have to go back a step20 minutes of not touching prevents masturbation 5 times in a row
So now, after having been at 145 days, why do I want to be free? 

I think it's mostly because 1:
It's possible and if I can't control myself I will feel like a real loser
2: I want to feel that being clean is the real me and that I am a good jew who tries hard to be good in everything spiritual 

Then there is also important factors like marriage, kids chinuch ("do as I do" rather than "do as I say"), serenity, peace of mind, confident and clear head etc. 

Is it worth the effort of constant battling with fantasy thoughts and sights that are everywhere? 
Definitely 

But so hard to accept that I can't just say 'hey, gimme a break, I'm just so tired right now. How about when I'm retired or better yet, expired?' 

And no, more sleep is not really an option for me right now 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 18 Feb 2021 20:57 #363702

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Another list I just found from shortly after joining, close to a year ago lists out a bunch of ways my life would be improved when I am clean

Part of this list includes :
Can look my wife in the eye and feel loyal
Be able to fully appreciate and love my wife
Peace of mind
Come home calmly
Go to Shul calmly (I know this borders kefira but) 
Ability to concentrate 
To be able to receive and appreciate kosher pleasures
Ability to be happy? To be in a good mood? To start off the day without being post masturbation 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 18 Feb 2021 21:09 #363703

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Last one for now

I found a list of some of the most important things for me

Included were:
Happiness
Peace tranquility
Happy marriage
Closeness with kids
Purpose
Honest life
Self esteem
Independence
Health
Financial security
Spirituality
And more.

The top five of those (and most of the rest) were not quite compatible with the double life, the fake pleasure and the falsness, the guilt the shame and the lack of control (fill in the blank) that comes with a masturbation filled life
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 19 Feb 2021 16:50 #363778

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Clean day
Was very busy but not in a stressed way
No major urges b"h

Have a good shabbos 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 20 Feb 2021 22:22 #363805

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Gut voch
Shabbos was good b"h
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 21 Feb 2021 20:17 #363889

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Clean b"h
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: There must be a way 22 Feb 2021 20:23 #363973

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Was a bit harder. 
At one point during the big urge this thought came into my head 
So this is never going to end? 
We'll just go right back into that kind of stuff, never to feel free again? 
Should we just fall back onto the vicious cycle? 
This is absurd! 
I'm done with this and we all know it! 

Then I just started thinking about other stuff and stopped pushing my limits with almost slips etc 


Not sure exactly what went on there but that sudden flash of clarity is a huge help when your mind is clouded by interest in desire 

Thank you Hashem
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number
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