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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Hayom Yom 6478 Views

Re: Hayom Yom 24 Feb 2021 18:01 #364165

  • BHYY
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DavidT wrote on 24 Feb 2021 17:50:
Hi BHYY
Did you consider looking into a recovery program like SMART or the 12 step? These programs have proven to be very beneficial for many people... 

Sadly there are no Jewish SMART meetings near me and I don't want to go to a non Jewish one.
I don't consider myself an addict (nor does my therapist) so I don't want to go to an SA 12 step meeting.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 24 Feb 2021 19:25 #364171

  • BHYY
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I'm embarrassed to report I fell again today.
I looked at things I definitely shouldn't have (not pornography) and masturbated.
I'm not going to fall down that hole again, that's why I'm posting it here in the open to keep accountable.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 24 Feb 2021 19:30 #364173

  • DavidT
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Each time we act out, we make it harder to heal from the addiction in the long term. Therefore, we must do everything in our power to break free of the vicious cycle now, by taking the necessary steps to break free. As long as we are still caught up in the cycle of addiction, we cannot begin to heal. And the nature of the addiction is such that we cannot think our way out, we need to act our way into a new pattern of thinking.

We must realize that the Yetzer Hara/addiction wants our soul, not the pleasure. Otherwise, why is a thousand times never enough? Keep this saying in mind: "Just once is too much; a thousand times is never enough." We cannot bargain with the addiction. Half measures ultimately amount to nothing. Isolated incidents of control are not significant when dealing with addiction, it’s the overall pattern. Staying stopped is the issue. We must realize that we were acting insane. It’s not sane to repeat self-destructive behaviors.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Hayom Yom 24 Feb 2021 20:30 #364175

  • BHYY
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Now I'm really starting to feel it.
It's like when a shidduch is going really well and then she breaks it off. I really thought this was going to be the one. I thought I was done with this. I know it was just a streak and the real determinant is how I pick myself up but even that, I've been letting myself wallow for too long in this fall.
Is it crazy to say I feel like I broke my own heart?
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 24 Feb 2021 20:58 #364181

  • DavidT
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When a person is acting out, it is someties an indication that he is lacking a certain sipuk in life, as the yetzer hora most often comes to a person when he is feeling empty. It is well-known that the Rambam writes that thoughts of arayos only come to a person whose heart is panui meichochmas haTorah, devoid of Torah wisdom, and that one should direct his mind to divrei Torah if he wants to overcome this nisayon .

Therefore, if a person is able to improve in learning, then he will be much better equipped to deal with his nisyonos. If a person is weak in learning, then appropriate goals should be set for him on his level, as it will give him a sense of satisfaction when he meets his goals.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Hayom Yom 25 Feb 2021 02:30 #364204

  • BHYY
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B"H no other events to report today.
B'chasdei Hashem I was able to go out this afternoon and buy a shiny new kosher phone. Tomorrow before heading home I will be locking my smartphone in my Mashgiach's office.
I feel lighter and happier already.
At least I could do something today, take a major step in the fight. I have my weapons now. I don't carry the YH in my pocket everywhere I go.
I daven that HaKadosh Baruch Hu give me the strength to go on so I can rewire and live a life clean of all shmutz and with the proper mindset in all inyanim.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 25 Feb 2021 02:32 #364205

  • BHYY
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Important correction:
BHYY wrote on 25 Feb 2021 02:30:
I daven that HaKadosh Baruch Hu continue to give me the strength to go on so I can continue rewiring and live a life clean of all shmutz and with the proper mindset in all inyanim.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom
Last Edit: 25 Feb 2021 02:32 by BHYY.

Re: Hayom Yom 25 Feb 2021 22:03 #364262

  • BHYY
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I'm home now. As I've stated in the past, I will not touch an unfiltered device. I will try to post here at least daily (tomorrow's post may be a trifle difficult to understand...) and I will keep davening. I will Daven that Hashem help me stay clean and overcome all nisyonos and bez"h take me to 90 days and beyond, to a fulfilling, clean life.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 25 Feb 2021 22:05 #364263

  • BHYY
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Forget the stupid ego!
1 day clean!!!!!!!!!! 
I couldn't bring myself to post again about "petty" accomplishments. Then I realized it was the Yetzer Hora talking.

BHYY is back in the ring!
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 28 Feb 2021 01:33 #364303

  • BHYY
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Purim and Shabbos were amazing.
B"H I'm still clean.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 01 Mar 2021 17:47 #364448

  • BHYY
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As some of you saw on the other thread, I had a fall yesterday. Long class, quiet building, loneliness. All the fixings for a fall.
So I've made another decision. Thanks to the wonderful Iampowerless I have decided to start attending GYEs SMART meetings. They are not local to where I live but I'm going to bezH make the drive there weekly. 
Thank you to all who gave me chizuk yesterday. I'm ready to roll and excited to learn new techniques with SMART.
Fight SMARTER not harder!
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 01 Mar 2021 21:46 #364468

  • BHYY
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I got a big hug from my Rosh Yeshiva when I showed him that I gave up my smartphone and went back to a basic phone 
Baruch Hashem all is going well.
I have a kosher phone, I have GYE, and I'm going to meet some very special people tonight. Hodu L'Hashem.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Hayom Yom 01 Mar 2021 21:57 #364469

  • Markz
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BHYY wrote on 01 Mar 2021 17:47:
As some of you saw on the other thread, I had a fall yesterday. Long class, quiet building, loneliness. All the fixings for a fall.
So I've made another decision. Thanks to the wonderful Iampowerless I have decided to start attending GYEs SMART meetings. They are not local to where I live but I'm going to bezH make the drive there weekly. 
Thank you to all who gave me chizuk yesterday. I'm ready to roll and excited to learn new techniques with SMART.
Fight SMARTER not harder!

A guy who’s SMART phone became a dumb phone.
A guy who’s meetings are getting SMART. 

Of course you deserved that hug! 
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: Hayom Yom 01 Mar 2021 22:48 #364481

  • Striving Avreich
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Please let us know how the meeting goes and if you enjoyed it/found it useful
Last Edit: 01 Mar 2021 22:52 by Striving Avreich.

Re: Hayom Yom 02 Mar 2021 17:59 #364548

  • BHYY
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Not feeling so well but wanted to update.
The meeting was amazing. I highly recommend it for anyone on the fence about it. I'm looking forward to attending regularly.
I also had the tremendous zchus to meet the renowned HHM afterwards.
Overall a great night .
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom
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