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from zero to 90
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: from zero to 90 3914 Views

Re: from zero to 90 18 Oct 2019 14:02 #344260

  • Markz
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drust wrote on 18 Oct 2019 09:24:
I know everytime I want to watch pornography, I start with twitter. So today I removed twitter app from my phone but the bad thoughts haven't left me yet.
What should I do?
please show me the right way

There are many ways to re-wire the brain from having porn being the 1st go to. 
12 steps, Therapy, etc...
Its almost like we have a bird brain on this topic which keeps tweeting even after deleting the twitter app...
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Re: from zero to 90 18 Oct 2019 17:23 #344264

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For now ignore the dreams. They are expected to come when we stop acting out. Iyh with time they will lessen in frequency and clarity. Keep connected and iyh you will pull through.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: from zero to 90 20 Dec 2019 17:30 #346114

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What's wrong with me?
every week when I'm alone in home, I'm tempted to watching porn.
Today I masturbated after 1 week as the same as other weeks.
I can't stop thinking about pornstars. I can't stop imagining the women's bodies.
I think there is no hope to get away from porn.
God... Please Help me... You are reading this note. Tell me what should I do....

Re: from zero to 90 20 Dec 2019 18:01 #346115

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drust wrote on 20 Dec 2019 17:30:
What's wrong with me?
every week when I'm alone in home, I'm tempted to watching porn.
Today I masturbated after 1 week as the same as other weeks.
I can't stop thinking about pornstars. I can't stop imagining the women's bodies.
I think there is no hope to get away from porn.
God... Please Help me... You are reading this note. Tell me what should I do....

God is readin', that is true, but He generally does not respond here. Perhaps it's on account of those damn moderators! In any event, I was in the same boat as you are for many years. I'm still in the water, but that particular boat took a lot of hard work to get out of. Years of therapy, step work, SA meetings, sponsors and more helped me. Meetin' with real live people from gye helped me as well.

Godspeed to you
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

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Re: from zero to 90 20 Dec 2019 18:39 #346120

  • stillgoing
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cordnoy wrote on 20 Dec 2019 18:01:

drust wrote on 20 Dec 2019 17:30:
....God please Help me... You are reading this note. Tell me what should I do....

God is readin', that is true, but He generally does not respond here. Perhaps it's on account of those damn moderators! In any event, I was in the same boat as you are for many years. I'm still in the water, but that particular boat took a lot of hard work to get out of. Years of therapy, step work, SA meetings, sponsors and more helped me. Meetin' with real live people from gye helped me as well.

Godspeed to you

Naa, G-d loves the mods too! I didn't hear Him cursin' them out. :-)
In any event, that boat's still sailin'.
I've heard it said that the hardest trip is the one that you've already done once, but the 2nd time around you see the weak spots that were missed in the beginning and ends up double as strong and triple as sweet.

see ya
sg
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Last Edit: 20 Dec 2019 18:43 by stillgoing.

Re: from zero to 90 27 Dec 2019 16:23 #346304

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Sometimes I think maybe, I did something wrong... maybe I entered in a wrong path.
But I don't want to mast*urbate anymore.
I don't want to watch por*nography anymore.
I don't want to text the girl who lead me to the mast*urbating.
GOD I'm here. listen to me. I want to become a powerful boy. I want to be determined in the right way.

Re: from zero to 90 29 Dec 2019 02:43 #346317

  • ColinColin
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drust

Tonight, after a nice night out with friends, I got home and looked at porn for five minutes.
It was force of habit.

But then I remembered guilt, and that I really actually did not want to look at porn, and that I could do productive things if I avoided looking at porn.
So I stopped lookign at porn.

I feel guilt. But not as much as if I had masterbated.

And now that I have stopped, the urge to watch it is strong.

But I know this is how the Yetzer Hara operates. It likes you feeling guilty, And it gets stronger if you fight back against it.

So thank G-D for this Forum, which is a positive activity I can do instead of looking at porn.

Re: from zero to 90 12 Jan 2020 19:15 #346657

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out of control
everything is out of control
c'mon boy
you should rise again
persevere!
Withstand!
Try once more...
c'mon boy

Re: from zero to 90 13 Jan 2020 04:07 #346665

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New member here - I didn't think I was that addicted, but I've fallen a handful of times over the past few months - the yetzer hara would trick me into doing it by convincing me that by seeking pleasure it would 'relieve stress'. Don't fall into this trap!! I joined the site a few days ago and haven't fallen since I joined, but I just had an urge to look at an inappropriate site which came out of nowhere... I closed the site quickly. Be careful everyone we can't let our guards down for a second!! This is the battle of our generation! Listening regularly to mussar lectures is one of the best things, also learning Torah, since this is the ultimate pleasure which is far greater than anything this world has to offer. Also, by stretching ourselves with short periods of intense learning, we will hopefully be too tired to think of forbidden things.

Re: from zero to 90 13 Jan 2020 19:42 #346675

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shmuel83 wrote on 13 Jan 2020 04:07:
New member here - I didn't think I was that addicted, but I've fallen a handful of times over the past few months - the yetzer hara would trick me into doing it by convincing me that by seeking pleasure it would 'relieve stress'. Don't fall into this trap!! I joined the site a few days ago and haven't fallen since I joined, but I just had an urge to look at an inappropriate site which came out of nowhere... I closed the site quickly. Be careful everyone we can't let our guards down for a second!! This is the battle of our generation! Listening regularly to mussar lectures is one of the best things, also learning Torah, since this is the ultimate pleasure which is far greater than anything this world has to offer. Also, by stretching ourselves with short periods of intense learning, we will hopefully be too tired to think of forbidden things.

Welcome Shmuel!
We're all so excited to have another great member on board. Please keep on posting your progress and what works or does not work for you. Hopefully you'll be a great inspiration for the others that are struggling to be able to also hop on board with the great fighters like you. 
Keep it up!
I am here to be helped by helping others
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Re: from zero to 90 13 Jan 2020 22:49 #346679

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Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. Keep posting. Staying connected helps a lot b'ezras Hashem.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: from zero to 90 14 Jan 2020 07:50 #346694

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DavidT wrote on 13 Jan 2020 19:42:

shmuel83 wrote on 13 Jan 2020 04:07:
New member here - I didn't think I was that addicted, but I've fallen a handful of times over the past few months - the yetzer hara would trick me into doing it by convincing me that by seeking pleasure it would 'relieve stress'. Don't fall into this trap!! I joined the site a few days ago and haven't fallen since I joined, but I just had an urge to look at an inappropriate site which came out of nowhere... I closed the site quickly. Be careful everyone we can't let our guards down for a second!! This is the battle of our generation! Listening regularly to mussar lectures is one of the best things, also learning Torah, since this is the ultimate pleasure which is far greater than anything this world has to offer. Also, by stretching ourselves with short periods of intense learning, we will hopefully be too tired to think of forbidden things.

Welcome Shmuel!
We're all so excited to have another great member on board. Please keep on posting your progress and what works or does not work for you. Hopefully you'll be a great inspiration for the others that are struggling to be able to also hop on board with the great fighters like you. 
Keep it up!

Thank you so much!
I'll post when I can. I don't have a lot of free time due to work (I recently got a job in a city where there are not many Jews - long story). I had a good day today in terms of guarding my eyes, but I still have to be careful I don't fall as I'm single and currently living alone. I'll hopefully be moving closer to the synagogue here soon so I'll be able to walk to shul B"H.

Re: from zero to 90 14 Jan 2020 15:36 #346700

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shmuel83 wrote on 14 Jan 2020 07:50:


I'll post when I can. I don't have a lot of free time due to work (I recently got a job in a city where there are not many Jews - long story). I had a good day today in terms of guarding my eyes, but I still have to be careful I don't fall as I'm single and currently living alone. I'll hopefully be moving closer to the synagogue here soon so I'll be able to walk to shul B"H.


A few comments if I may:
​1- Not having a lot of free time is a good thing. One of the keys to success in this battle is keeping busy and away from tempting situations.
2- You are never alone ;-) even if you're living without other people, Hashem is always with you... taking care of you and helping you succeed! 
3- Please keep us posted about your moving so we can ride along with your amazing journey ....
I am here to be helped by helping others
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Last Edit: 14 Jan 2020 15:36 by DavidT.

Re: from zero to 90 15 Jan 2020 03:50 #346716

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An amazing thing happened to me today.
Last night I was watching a mussar talk about the importance of keeping Shabbat (I grew up not shomer Shabbat and have been struggling to keep it now since moving to an area with not many Jews). Before I went to bed last night I asked Hashem to help me keep Shabbat where I am, and this morning I got a call from another Jew who lives not far from me inviting me to Shabbat dinner this Friday! I truly believe Hashem needs to hear our prayers and requests now more than ever as He wants to know that we are still thinking of Him. Please keep talking to Hashem, He will listen, I am sure of it.

Re: from zero to 90 16 Jan 2020 15:40 #346748

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shmuel83 wrote on 15 Jan 2020 03:50:
An amazing thing happened to me today.
Last night I was watching a mussar talk about the importance of keeping Shabbat (I grew up not shomer Shabbat and have been struggling to keep it now since moving to an area with not many Jews). Before I went to bed last night I asked Hashem to help me keep Shabbat where I am, and this morning I got a call from another Jew who lives not far from me inviting me to Shabbat dinner this Friday! I truly believe Hashem needs to hear our prayers and requests now more than ever as He wants to know that we are still thinking of Him. Please keep talking to Hashem, He will listen, I am sure of it.

In one of the popular zemiros we sing on Shabbos, we proclaim, ki eshmerah Shabbos Keil yishmereini — “When I guard the Shabbos, G-d will safeguard me.” If we protect Shabbos against desecration, then Hashem protects us.

Shabbat is not only Judaism's best spiritual tool, but historically it has also been the litmus test of whether an individual or family will remain a vibrant part of the Jewish people. The famous maxim says:

"More than the Jew has kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jew."

A true story:

Bnei Brak is a city in Israel with a largely religious population. There once was a fellow living there who wasn't a religious man, but since he lived in the area, he sent his daughter to a yeshiva. After learning for a few years in yeshiva, the daughter decided she wanted to observe the Shabbat. Since the family did not want to observe Shabbat, fights broke out every week between the parents and their daughter.

One Friday afternoon, the daughter went to the local store to buy candles for Shabbat. The storeowner, who knew that the family did not observe the Shabbat, assumed the girl wanted yahrtzeit candles and gave her two of them. (Yahrtzeit candles are lit in memory of the deceased on the date of his or her death.)

That night, while her parents were downstairs, the girl went quietly to her room to light the candles. After awhile, her parents went to check on her. As they opened the door, they saw the yahrtzeit candles burning. "Who are these for?" they asked.

"One is for Daddy," she said, "and one is for Mommy."

The irony of their daughter's words hit home. Without the Shabbat, they came to realize, it's only a matter of time before their connection to Jewish continuity would die forever. Slowly the parents began to make their way back to a stronger, more vibrant Jewish lifestyle.
I am here to be helped by helping others
ahavayirah@gmail.com
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