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90 days for the heavy addict...
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A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.

TOPIC: 90 days for the heavy addict... 2581 Views

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Mar 2019 06:57 #339502

  • Hakolhevel
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EscapeArtist wrote on 07 Mar 2019 19:24:
Hello again Chevra,
So I like to fool myself & think that I'm actually on the road to being normal, as BH I find myself in situations that would have previously sent me running away to "never-never land", & now I don't feel any chemical reactions whatsoever... kinda nice this feeling of freedom...
Well today I had unfortunately a family levaya... trying very hard to be all somber & reflect on the life of the נפטרת & how she lived a life full of שמחה & she had such a לב טוב & she was always WHOA CHECK OUT THAT PRETTY RELATIVE did she get a new sheitel? She looks great! Oh wow look at THAT one...! I wish my wife would... ... ... oh right I'm at a funeral for crying out loud... At least at the cemetery I was able to control my addict-brain right? duh. I'm shoveling dirt into the grave & all I can think is how manly do I look in front of all these women watching... רחמנא ליצלן.
Does this business ever get better???

Define normal?

Hatzlacha!

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Mar 2019 19:36 #339519

  • Tzvi5
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"
Well today I had unfortunately a family levaya... trying very hard to be all somber & reflect on the life of the נפטרת & how she lived a life full of שמחה & she had such a לב טוב & she was always WHOA CHECK OUT THAT PRETTY RELATIVE did she get a new sheitel? She looks great! Oh wow look at THAT one...! I wish my wife would... ... ... oh right I'm at a funeral for crying out loud... At least at the cemetery I was able to control my addict-brain right? duh. I'm shoveling dirt into the grave & all I can think is how manly do I look in front of all these women watching... רחמנא ליצלן.
Does this business ever get better???"

I would theorize you're not "actively" thinking those thoughts. Rather it's like, they're coming to your mind by themselves. 
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Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 11 Mar 2019 17:12 #339545

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Hakolhevel wrote on 10 Mar 2019 06:57:
Define normal?


By normal I mean having the frame of mind in sync with the situation... let a trip to the secretary be just a trip to the secretary, a funeral just a funeral etc., without the addict-brain kicking in (automatically or not, I have no idea). 
Anyways, my wife had to go out of town for 3 days, leaving me with a bunch of adorable kids & a not-so-adorable addict-brain... Generally a recipe for disaster, but trying to stay in touch with GYE & SA friends & do stepwork (never mind all the other work I have to catch up on...), so far I'm pretty ok, ברוך השם!

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 13 Mar 2019 01:08 #339588

  • EscapeArtist
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AAAaaaaAAAaarrrGGGhhh!!!!!! (Any addicts out there relate to that statement?)
I was wasting time at work & some woman got stuck in my head; eating at me for hours, till I surprisingly came very close to Z"L & stopped (whatever I was doing) abruptly. I was too scared to check if any drop did actually come out... I'm still hoping to get out of this rut & back to where I was a week ago...
Usually once lust comes this far through the door though, it sticks around at least for some coffee & cake... maybe even long enough for some woodford...sigh.
Didn't update my chart for today yet. Not sure what to call myself...

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 13 Mar 2019 01:13 #339589

  • doingtshuva
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you probably need some TEQUILA?
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 13 Mar 2019 01:21 #339591

  • Trouble
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EscapeArtist wrote on 13 Mar 2019 01:08:
AAAaaaaAAAaarrrGGGhhh!!!!!! (Any addicts out there relate to that statement?)
I was wasting time at work & some woman got stuck in my head; eating at me for hours, till I surprisingly came very close to Z"L & stopped (whatever I was doing) abruptly. I was too scared to check if any drop did actually come out... I'm still hoping to get out of this rut & back to where I was a week ago...
Usually once lust comes this far through the door though, it sticks around at least for some coffee & cake... maybe even long enough for some woodford...sigh.
Didn't update my chart for today yet. Not sure what to call myself...

Call yourself an addict and move the hell on, and please stop worrying about that drop.
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 13 Mar 2019 01:34 #339594

  • Hakolhevel
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Wondering what to call yourself is just another excuse to keep wallowing in the mud. 
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